I'm starting to think my baby daddy is a loser

"For one, he always asks me for money... but the reason why is the worst part."

There are many things one can only truly understand once you have a baby.

"How tired you'll be, how much you can love a tiny being...

You'll also learn a lot about the other parent... and it's not always good. Which is exactly what a young mum says in an online group this week - and she's horrified. 

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"He said the money is for his mum"

The young mum writes: 

"Me and my boyfriend are both 30. I have my own place that I live in with our daughter (seven months old). He still lives at home with his mother and two siblings.

"He's always in and out of jobs. He will have a job for a few months then will lose it. I'm getting no child maintenance."

But wait, that's not the worst part...

"He's asked to borrow money a few times in the last two weeks. He currently owes me $180 because I've given in and lent him money.

"He said the money is for food as his mother has been having ago at him about the amount of food he's eating and not paying her anything towards rent/bills etc. Which is completely understandable from her."

The fact that he's asking her for money for basic living expenses that his mum is demanding, and receiving no support from him, has sounded alarm bells for the woman.

"I don't know what to think at the moment. This isn't even a question I guess I just needed to vent. I mean this has been going on since before having a baby and it's not making me want a future with him at all."

Image: iStock

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"This is a good instinct"

Comments on the post were generally diplomatic and supportive.

"I think it does make sense to plan for a future where you're not relying on him - that's a good instinct," one parent wrote.

Another agreed, adding, "That's a good feeling to have. Just end it. Apply through the courts for proper maintenance."

This commenter was harsher, writing, "So he is a 30 year old father who lives with his mum and not only can’t support his own child, he’s borrowing money from you which could be spent on your child.

"No I wouldn’t be tolerating this. Don't lend him anything else and plan for a future without him as anything other than a co parent."

Finally, this group member was even more direct: "The money he wants from you is the money you should be spending on you and your child. Think about that.

"You work for your money. Your child deserves a lovely childhood. Your boyfriend can't keep a job and is eating his mother out of house and home.

"Dump him!"

Originally published as I'm starting to think my baby daddy is a loser