‘I went into hospital to deliver my two babies and ended up leaving with none’

“I didn’t expect to be told my children were going to die, and I had no control over it,” said heartbroken Cassandra.  

It was always Cassandra Oest’s dream to have a large family. As the eldest of 10 kids, she was ready to begin her journey into parenthood with her husband Jake. 

She and Jake began their fertility journey seven years ago, but after trying and failing to fall pregnant, doctors told the couple their best chance of starting a family was through IVF. 

But the day before she was expected to start the medical process, the Adelaide 27-year-old learned she was expecting. 

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Cassandra and Justin found out they were expecting twins after seven years of fertility struggles. Picture: Brenton Edwards

“Doctors told me, ‘We can’t help them, but we need to help you’”

Cassandra was “bawling” her “eyes out” when she learned the happy news. “I actually broke down and collapsed on the floor,” she told The Advertiser. 

She was 20 weeks into her pregnancy when doctors told Cassandra they were having twins, a boy and a girl, who were both progressing “perfectly.” 

But it was at an ultrasound that medical staff issued further testing of her cervix, with results showing her cervix was shortened, and she was one centimetre dilated, requiring a cerclage stitch to support the cervix and prevent premature labour. 

Two weeks later, doctors learned she had chorioamnionitis, an infection of the placenta, and was rushed to the Women’s and Children’s Hospital. 

There, they told her the only way to clear the infection was by giving birth to her twins. 

“They told me, ‘The twins are only 22 weeks and two days … we can’t help them … but we need to help you,’” she recalled. 

“I didn’t expect to be … told my children were going to die, and I had no control over it, no say in what happens.” 

Cassandra was urged to try and push the pregnancy out to 23 weeks - the point in the pregnancy where doctors could intervene and try and save the premature twins. 

“They were very, very concerned I was going to become septic and essentially … all three of us would die,” she said. 

“But I needed to give these twins every chance they’ve got because I knew that if I made it to Tuesday when I was 23 weeks, the hospital would intervene, and they could at least try to save them.” 

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The couple lost their twins, Ellie and Aiden, just shy of 23 weeks gestation. Source: Supplied

“My birth was supposed to be beautiful and natural, and none of it was”

But on January 7th, just two days before reaching the 23-week milestone, Cassandra’s waters broke and began delivering her twins, Ellie and Aiden. 

“Ellie was [still] born, and they put her straight on my chest,” she told The Advertiser. “Aiden pretty much came out with one push … he was moving and trying to take little breaths.” 

Sadly, Aiden passed away two hours later, laying on the bed with his twin sister and devastated parents. 

“The midwives took them, and they dressed them for us and put them in their little blankets and everything while Jake helped me have a shower,” Cassandra recalled. She and her husband Jake spent five days “cuddling with them”, watching movies and spending time “talking to them.” 

The day Cassandra was well enough to be discharged from the hospital, she and Jake packed up their babies’ belongings in a box. 

“It was supposed to be beautiful and natural, and none of it was,” she said. “I had gone into the hospital with two babies, and I was leaving with none.” 

Cassandra said she “wasn’t ready to leave them”, knowing that once “we left them that was it, that was the last time I was ever going to see them.” 

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Justin and Cassandra (pictured with Cassandra's step-son) aren't giving up hope on starting a family together. Source: Supplied

“We’re not done fighting to have a baby”

Since the devastating birth of Ellie and Aiden in early January, Cassandra has felt “numb.” 

“I still struggle to look at myself in the mirror because I’m so used to being able to see them and to see my belly,” she said. 

“We’ve gone through the four hardest things … we got told our children were going to die, I had to give birth to them and hold them while they died, we have to leave them at the hospital, which is still something I’m not okay with, and then we’ve had to have a funeral for them,” she continued. 

“That’s not something that’s supposed to happen.”

In an effort to pay for the funeral and a permanent memorial, the couple’s family friend Nichelle launched a GoFundMe campaign on their behalf. 

Looking forward, Jake and Cassandra have hopes their dreams of a large family are still a possibility and plan to try for another baby when they’re ready. 

“We know that we’re more than likely going to have to go through a full IVF cycle, which is not cheap,” she said. 

“It’s definitely something we want, and we’re not done fighting for our family, we’re not done fighting to have a baby.” 

You can donate to the family's funeral fundraiser here. 

Originally published as ‘I went into hospital to deliver my two babies and ended up leaving with none’