I walked out of my best friend’s wedding after discovering her texts about me

“She said clearly she loves me because I’m going to be a bridesmaid, and added that I’m only hurt because I chose to read all those texts.”

Alexandra Feiam

4 min read

May 20, 2024 - 8:03AM

Family Life

Don't miss out on the headlines from Family Life. Followed categories will be added to My News.

For years, Harriet*, Kylie*, and Fiona* have been best friends; the trio have been close ever since they started university, where they were all roommates in their dorm.

While all three girls are close to each other, it’s no secret that Fiona and Kylie have a bond like no other.

So, when Fiona told her best friend she was planning to get married, it made total sense that Kylie was asked to be the maid of honour.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

Best friend’s messages “didn’t appear to be very good nature”

Harriet, too, is thrilled to be part of the bridal party. Fiona asked her to stand by her side as a bridesmaid on her big day.

One day, Fiona asked the bridesmaid and the maid of honour to watch her try and buy her wedding dress.

“Kylie was supposed to come with us but got called into work last minute,” Harriet explained, adding she was the only one helping out.

As the pair started rummaging through the available dresses, Fiona asked Harriet to assist her by taking photos of each dress and sending them over to the bride’s mum and maid of honour, Kylie.

Harriet grabbed the bride’s phone and started taking photos of each dress option when the phone started vibrating.

Introducing our new podcast: Mum Club! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

“I was getting the camera ready when a text from Kylie came through,” Harriet explained on Reddit.

“I didn’t mean to click on it and was instantly going to click back out,” she said.

Then, she saw a private message between Kylie and Fiona commenting on an Instagram post shared by Harriet.

“Both were making fun of me for the face I was making and my outfit choice,” heartbroken Harriet said.

“It didn’t appear to be very good nature.”

Taken aback by the bullying from her two best friends, Harriet let “curiosity take the best” og her, and started searching for her name in the group chat.

“I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend or my mum have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds,” she said.

“Ranging from selfies to posed shots to even a few baby pictures. They’d also make fun of me in general in terms of the way I talked, wore my hair and the way I ate.”

She was horrified, scrolling through the litany of cruel messages targeting her appearance and lifestyle choices.

“This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year,” she added.

It’s safe to say Harriet’s heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces.

“It all felt so juvenile and high school,” she admitted. “While we all joke around, I would never do this to them nor have they ever even tried to instigate these types of conversations with me about the other one on one.”

Harriet was bullied a bit in high school, so these nasty messages made the painful memories flood back into her memory.

It was too much to handle, with Harriet bursting into tears and putting the phone back in Fiona’s bag.

She told Fiona she had to go, grabbed her stuff and jumped in the car, crying the whole way home.

“Fiona texted me by the time I made it home asking where I went,” Harriet wrote. “I said I was going home and we could talk later.”

When she finally made it home, she broke down and explained to Fiona what really happened, and Fiona was furious.

“She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business,” Harriet recalled. “She also told me I shouldn’t have left the store without saying anything.”

But Harriet hit back, arguing she “didn’t want to make a scene but also knew I couldn’t fake being happy for her.”

Offering an excuse for her bullying, Fiona said the messages about Harrit were “all in good fun” and shouldn't be taken seriously; “clearly she loves me because I’m going to be her bridesmaid.”

“She added that I’m only hurt because I chose to read all those texts,” Harriet added.

“Get these two knives out of your back and drop them”

Most Redditors argued that Harriet not only did the right thing by walking out but should also walk away from the wedding altogether.

After all, real friends don’t treat others this way.

“If I was in your place, I think I'd drop out of being in the wedding,” someone suggested.

“If I were you I wouldn't feel bad about looking through those messages at all, she handed her phone to you and feels like fate took the opportunity to expose them to you for who they are.”

“Yup,” another agreed. “Those girls are not her friends.”

Some argued the bride’s reaction was implementing classic “narcissist gaslighting techniques” to make Harriet feel bad for discovering the nasty messages.

“Instead of apologising, they somehow make it all your fault, and you hurt them so much that their original behaviour doesn't matter,” read a comment.

But even if Fiona and Kylie did apologise, the Reddit community wanted Harriet to forgive the pair.

“Backstabbers,” someone described Fiona and Kylie. “That’s what we called them when I was your age. Get these two knives out of your back and drop them.”

*Names have been changed