‘I don't want to attend my best friend’s wedding if they serve chocolate cake’

“They told me if I had a problem with the cake, I could ‘shove it’, cause it was their wedding, not mine.”

Alexandra Feiam

3 min read

May 13, 2024 - 6:32AM

Family Life

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Weddings are the perfect opportunity to catch up with loved ones, dance and make memories that last a lifetime.

Jenny* has been eagerly anticipating the day when her best friends Hannah* and Ben* tie the knot.

It's been a long two years since she last saw her university friends, and she’ll finally get to reunite with those she missed the most.

But after an awkward conversation with her two best friends, Jenny is unsure if she’s still attending their nuptials.

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Jenny doesn't want to eat the wedding cake if it's chocolate. Picture: iStock

“What flavour is the cake? I wanna mentally prepare myself”

Hannah and Ben have gone above and beyond in planning their big day, setting up a Discord server that not only serves as a group chat for their close friends but also ensures everyone feels included in the wedding preparations.

The couple have also set up a chat specifically about food, so guests can share their dietary requirements and food preferences.

“They've been really good about being open about the food they intend to have at the reception including vegan/vegetarian/gluten-free options for everyone and answering questions,” Jenny wrote on Reddit.

“So, I didn't think there would be any contention if I asked a question.”

However, Jenny’s question caused a bit of tension in the group chat.

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“Hey, what flavour is the cake gonna be?” she asked. “I wanna mentally prepare myself lol.”

In Jenny’s mind, her question made perfect sense, because she has a “long-documented dislike of chocolate-flavoured foods like cake or ice cream.”

But when Hannah and Ben saw the message, they pulled her aside and gave her an earful.

“I received a private message back that the cake would be chocolate,” she explained. “If I had a problem with it then I could ‘shove it’, cause it was their wedding, not mine.”

Jenny was “taken aback” by this response and offered an apology to the couple.

“Never did I mention that I would have been upset and I certainly wouldn't have put up a stink about it,” she said.

But Hanah wouldn’t have any of it, refusing to listen to Jenny’s apologies and shutting her down every time she tried to bring up the subject again.

It’s been two days since the awkward comment, and Jenny still can’t get through to them.

“This whole thing has made me want to drop out of the wedding party and honestly not go at all,” she confessed.

“I can't help but think maybe I just don't get how stressful planning a wedding is,” she questioned.

“Maybe they’ve gotten pushback from other people on other things and somehow it’s being taken out on me?”

“It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t”

While the majority of the Reddit community agreed that weddings were a stressful time, Hannah’s comments, were in fact, out of line.

“You don't need to mentally prepare for anyone's wedding cake,” someone wrote. “It was a stupid comment that hit a nerve because it is in fact the flavour you hate.”

“Who ‘mentally prepares’ for a cake?” asked another. “If you are at a wedding and don't like some or all the food, then go hungry.”

“What a weird question to ask,” another agreed. “They have the right to have whatever cake they want.”

Then, a spanner was thrown into the works.

Ben himself joined in the conversation and sparked further controversy. As it turns out, this wasn’t the first rude thing Jenny said to the couple about their wedding.

“First off, cake was not her only complaint,” he said.

“You said my suit was tacky 'cause I wanted white and not traditional black; you whined about the bridesmaid’s dresses being purple 'cause you wanted ivory.

“Any decision we’ve made there’s ALWAYS a complaint,” he continued. “And Hannah has done nothing but be patient and try and find common ground. She should not have to change her wedding choices for you.”

Then he stuck the knife in further.

“Everyone else is tired of your bulls**t, too," he wrote. "It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t.”

*Names have been changed