'I took down our baby gate ... I've accepted I won't ever have more children'

"I went through nine rounds of IVF, 100s of injections, 13 embryo transfers, a miscarriage and D&C surgery to create our family, and I'm done," the mum-of-one reveals.

Pilar Mitchell

3 min read

August 29, 2024 - 1:16PM

Family Life

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Soon after Sorrel Trevarthen learned she was having a miscarriage, she found herself sitting in a long, windowless hallway at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital’s maternity ward in Sydney, surrounded by the sounds of mothers caring for their newborn babies.

“It was the lowest point of my life, sitting in that awful corridor weeping quietly and waiting for the doctor,” Sorrel tells Kidspot.

“They said I had two options: I could go home and wait, or I could take a tablet that would make me miscarry.”

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To make matters worse, when she asked for genetic testing to see if there was an abnormality, the response was clinical. “They gave me a pair of gloves and a cup and told me, ‘When you see the embryo, pick it up and put it in the cup’.”

Sorrel was horrified. She found a private gynaecologist who scheduled a dilation and curettage surgery for the next day and told her to go home and have a glass of wine.

“I was so thankful to have another option that could be done quickly and compassionately. I was listened to, not given a cup and told to put my baby in it.”

For the artist behind Picket Fence Illustrations, the miscarriage was a heartbreaking blow, not just because she’d lost a longed-for child, but because of the heartbreaking IVF journey she and her husband Adam had gone through to get to that point.

Sorrel Trevarthen and her husband went through a hellish IVF journey trying to conceive a younger sibling for their son. Picture: Bec Hannaford

‘I was doing my IVF injections and crying on the way to work’

Genetic testing revealed two things: there were no genetic abnormalities, and the baby was a girl.

“It helped me form a connection with her. We really wanted a girl; we named her Olive.”

But knowing more about her second child didn’t help with the grief. Sorrel and Adam had conceived Miles by IVF in 2017 and were hoping to give him a younger sibling.

From the start, IVF was gruelling “I did my injections, I’d cry on my way to work, and have to pull myself together to function.”

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There were egg retrievals, embryo transfers and each time, a two-week wait to see if she was pregnant.

“You either get your period or not. The progesterone makes you crazy. Once I had a positive home pregnancy test but the blood test said it wasn’t viable. What do you do? You fall into a pile, and then you keep going.”

It took three embryo transfers before Sorrel fell pregnant and had Miles. When he was 18 months old, she and Adam decided to try for a second baby.

“By that time, the pandemic was starting, but in the back of my mind, my clock was ticking.

“I had a toddler in lockdown, trying to have another baby, it was COVID and we thought everyone was going to die.”

Sorrel endured eight years of IVF treatments. Picture: Ben Hannaford

‘I endured nine rounds of IVF, 100s of injections, a miscarriage… I’m done’

After losing Olive in 2021, Sorrel continued IVF treatments for two years before accepting her family as it was.

She posted recently about the journey on Instagram.

“I endured nine rounds of IVF treatment, 100s of injections, 13 embryo transfers, a laparoscopy, a miscarriage, D&C surgery, a trans-vaginal biopsy on my womb while fully conscious to create our family,” she wrote.

In the post, Sorrel shared a video of the baby gate that barricaded the entrance to the family’s kitchen. The gate, left in place from when Miles was a baby, became a symbol of hope for another child.

“We had to draw a line in the sand because otherwise, when do you stop? I could have kept going, but at my age I’d need an egg donor.

“Taking the gate down was a way of accepting our family. It was emotional, but it’s a good sign that I’m making progress.”

Sorrel is a mum-of-one and the artist behind Picket Fence Illustrations. Picture: Supplied

‘I’ve grieved for the things we have lost… but I’m so thankful for what we have’

As the family moves forward, Sorrel is focusing her business, capturing the essence of Sydneysiders’ homes with beautiful ink illustrations.

“When I was younger, I always wanted to get married, have two children and live in a house with a picket fence,” she posted on Instagram.

“Next month we are celebrating 10 years of marriage. Together we have our amazing son created through IVF. And together we endured eight years of infertility, IVF treatment and the miscarriage of our daughter Olive in 2021.”

“I have grieved a lot for the things we have lost, but also celebrated and am so thankful for what we have,” she said.