I cancelled my birthday party as my SIL asked to announce her pregnancy there

"Is that so wrong?!"

A woman has taken to Reddit to vent after her brother and SIL planned to announce their pregnancy at her milestone birthday party. 

The nearly 30-year-old said that she ended up cancelling the event after her brother asked her if they could make the announcement at the bash. 

Now, they're mad at her for reacting in the way she did and told her she's 'over-reacting'. 

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Image: IStock

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"Easier to tell them"

"This afternoon, my brother & SIL called me to tell me that they were pregnant. I was ecstatic for them & asked them all the usual questions," she explained.

"Then they asked me if I would be okay with them telling my parents at my birthday dinner tonight. They said that my SIL had been very sick, which I empathised with, and wouldn’t be drinking, so it would be easier to tell them. But if I said no, then they would tell them at another event (that’s about them) in a few weeks."

She then told the pair she would prefer for them to hold off on the announcement.

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"Substantial fee for cancelling"

"They were understanding," the OP wrote. "But when I said that I felt like they’d put me in a difficult spot & really shouldn’t have asked in the first place, they were defensive and angry.

"They implied that I should feel grateful that they were considerate enough to ask me in the first place. My SIL yelled at me a bit. The call ended badly & I was more upset than I was in the first place.

"This put me in a really bad mood & trying to pretend to be upbeat while at dinner with them was not appealing, so I contacted my parents to postpone the dinner. They wanted to know why, which I couldn’t tell them, & let me know there would be a substantial fee for cancelling. They were frustrated because I wouldn’t tell them why I was upset. I said I’d call the restaurant and sort it out, which I did."

"Ehhh, they asked in advance, no harm, no foul. They accepted your decision, but you made it a huge issue when it was not. Literally nothing. We always say, what’s the harm in asking, the worst they can say is no. Is saying no so intensely difficult that you let this query ruin your birthday? YTA," one person told her.

"ESH," someone else wrote. "Your brother and sister in law shouldnt have blown up at you when you said their request upset you. BUT they did ask you first and seemed okay with postponing the announcement. You sound like you are 12, not coming up for 30. It’s a meal, who cares? The birthday princess thing is for tweens."

"NTA. BIL & SIL could have waited and not even say anything to OP or the rest of the family for another day or two," a third concluded.

Originally published as I cancelled my birthday party as my SIL asked to announce her pregnancy there