Rejection therapy is the internet's most stressful trend

But there’s a reason it’s taking off

• In this article:

• How rejection therapy works

• Why the trend is taking off on TikTok

• The unexpected benefits many are finding

If a fear of rejection, crippling social anxiety and a constant need to please everyone around you dictate the opportunities you do and don’t take in life, you might find the latest trend on TikTok helpful. 

For many people, the possibility of embarrassment, humiliation or rejection from others is enough to stop them from trying anything new. It’s the reason they never stray from their routine, never engage with new people and new experiences, and never test the limits of their potential.

But with rejection being a fairly standard part of life, learning to overcome our anxieties around it is imperative. But like most things, rewiring the way we interpret dismissal and knock-backs is far easier said than done – until now.

Recently, creators all over TikTok have revived a classic technique used to eliminate our fear of rejection, taking to the platform to share how and why ‘Rejection Therapy’ has positively changed their lives. 

How does rejection therapy work?

The self-imposed therapy – which many are undergoing for a certain number of days as a challenge – inevitably forces people to purposely seek out rejection in a largely controlled setting. In other words, people are bravely putting themselves in potentially awkward or embarrassing situations to destigmatise the possibility of being told ‘No’.

As many users explain, the worst thing that can happen is that they’ll be left feeling (expectedly) embarrassed, yet still slightly more acquainted with rejection as a whole, making it a less daunting prospect in the future. 

“It’s just a nuanced version of ‘exposure therapy’ that is evidence-backed,” psychotherapist Rachel Goldberg tells Bustle. “The purpose of exposure therapy is to help individuals confront and gradually overcome their fears by exposing them to the feared stimulus in a safe environment, ultimately reducing the intensity of the fear response and promoting confidence.”

While most rejection therapy endeavours – such as requesting to make an announcement on a plane’s intercom, or asking to take a nap at a mattress store – are simply means of exposing one’s self to controlled rejection, others have been the catalyst for life-changing opportunities. 

@maureensmarketing

I ate dinner with strangers

♬ Sun - Adrian Berenguer

As some users have discovered, simply opening themselves up for opportunities might also lead to hearing ‘yes’. One TikTok creator recalls applying for Harvard University ‘as a joke’, only to be waitlisted for the prestigious Ivy League college. 

The same user also attributes the power of self-confidence to the success of the therapy. For example, at just 18 years old, with no college education, she applied for a marketing job and was offered a full-time role, beating out a handful of more experienced candidates. 

Of course, rejection therapy is not just designed to destigmatise the word ‘No’, but also to get people comfortable with experience momentary embarrassment, awkwardness and judgement from others. 

In most cases, once the initial discomfort and awkwardness of a new experience subsides, many creators share the unexpected benefits they’ve enjoyed after having opened themselves up to new and daunting experiences that they usually would have avoided entirely. 

@anamarcks

Rejection therapy: day 5 - asking to make an annoucement on a flight #rejection #rejectiontherapy #anxiety #socialanxiety #selfhelp #denverinfluencer #denverinternationalairport #southwestairlines

♬ original sound - Ana Marcks

Some simple ways to start getting rejected 

Embracing rejection therapy doesn’t mean you need ot start aimlessly applying to Ive League universities. In fact, starting small is the best way to overcome your fear of rejection in the long run. 

TikTok is full of videos from creators sharing simple everyday tactics they’ve tried and tested to purposely face rejection or vulnerability. It could be asking the cute barista making your oat cap for his number, asking a fellow shopper to help choose a new outfit, or winding down the windows at the traffic lights and loudly screaming Taylor Swift lyrics. 

Worst case scenario? The barista isn’t interested, the shopper is in a rush, and someone in the next lane laughs at your singing – all of which will only make you more resilient in the long run. The best case scenario? You score a hot date, make a new friend and spread some T-Swift joy to those stuc in traffic. Sounds like a win-win to us.

Originally published as Rejection therapy is the internet's most stressful trend