James Weir recaps Married At First Sight finale | ‘Sick to my stomach’: MAFS videos aired

Incriminating tapes are aired in the MAFS finale — leaving the contestants’ sins exposed. James Weir recaps.

The Married At First Sight contestants are shell-shocked at Monday’s reunion finale as they’re reminded that all their bad behaviour over the past three months has been caught on camera for the nation to see.

Determined to squeeze the final drops of bin juice from this show, producers roll in a TV and replay old footage while filming everyone’s reactions. The episode consists of us watching the MAFS freaks as they watch footage that we’ve already watched.

It’s like Gogglebox but without all the ugly couches.

JAMES WEIR:Read all the recaps here

The freaks are herded into the warehouse where the experts get one last opportunity to pretend to hold them to account.

Do we wanna hear about the love story of Rhi and Jeff? No! Instead, let’s rile up the guy who can’t spell and that chick with the dodgy hair extensions.

Adrian wastes no time in dobbing on Awhina for telling everyone he can’t spell.

“She said my business sucks and I can’t spell!” he mumbles.

In retaliation, Awhina dobs on Adrian for texting Sierah.

“Adrian sends me a string of text messages from Sierah – it was just a barrage of messages [saying], ‘I f**king hate Awhina and her tacky weave’,” she recalls of the dispatches.

The experts then add fuel to the fire by airing clips of Adrian and Sierah secretly flirting. Awhina becomes so distraught her weave almost falls out.

“This is insane,” Jamie says, relishing her final night as the show’s unofficial sideline commentator.

An appropriate reaction to the entire evening. Picture: Channel 9.

MORE: Gross reality of MAFS revealed

But the insanity is just beginning.

Enter: Jacqui, her ex Ryan and her new fiance Clint, who was dumped by Lauren for being too feminine.

Everyone laughs at how Jacqui relocated to Clint’s Tasmanian mansion just two weeks after dumping Ryan.

Even Mel Schilling reckons it’s too crazy for this freakshow.

Tell us what ya really think, Schilling. Picture: Channel 9.

Ryan starts raising suspicions about when exactly Jacqui struck up a romance with Clint.

“You started the beginning of the relationship when you were still married to me!” he fumes to his ex-wife.

He reveals Jacqui called Clint at 3am one morning and that she later promised Ryan there was nothing to worry about.

“I’ve got the texts!” he screams. “I’ve got the texts to confirm it! You sent me texts saying those exact things and I’ve still got them on my phone!”

Producers decide now is the perfect moment to play the video of Jacqui trying to hook up with her backup husband.

“If you want to give me your number, I’ll be out of this experiment in 10 days,” she tells the guy in the clip.

Everyone gasps.

Jacqui reacts the only way she knows how: by fake crying.

“I’m so sick of this!” Jacqui wails.

GIRL, SAME. We are SO sick of this. And we’re sick of all of you! We can’t sit her rehashing the same arguments four nights a week.

We’d much rather be watching that new Ellen Pompeo show with the creepy little girl.

Not a single tear. Picture: Channel 9.

Meanwhile, Paul is still embarrassed about being dumped by Carina and he’s determined to change the narrative. How? By making it clear he didn’t even like Carina in the first place. You’re not attracted to me? Well I’M not attracted to YOU!

He calls her an image-obsessed brat. Take that!

Then producers start playing old video clips of all Paul’s mistakes. There’s the time he called Carina a snob. Then there’s the time he punched a wall. Oh, and the time he went on a date with his backup bride.

Paul doubles down on his claims that Carina is an A-grade horror.

“Carina has said certain things to me or has done certain things that make me feel extremely uncomfortable and upset at times,” he says.

That’s when John Aiken jumps in.

“Paul, I’ve had enough,” he snaps. “I’m gonna tell you the way it is. You have to stop playing the victim. Because I won’t get another chance to give this to ya straight. And you NEED to change. I have seen a guy who has consistently broken his partner’s trust. You overreacted to a comment... and punched a wall. That’s violence. No excuse. Ya did it, and ya shouldn’t have. Any way you look at it, it’s bad.”

That’s quite a snarl you have, Ms Aiken. Picture: Channel 9.

John thinks this is going to be a big triumphant moment and that we’ll hoist him up on our shoulders. Instead, we’re left rolling our eyes and wondering why this kind of advice is only being given in the last 40 seconds of the series.

“Frankly, it just made me sick in the stomach,” John spits.

That’s how we’ve felt all season, Jonathan. Pop a Valium, pour some ginger ale and start casting freaks for next year.

Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Originally published as James Weir recaps Married At First Sight finale | ‘Sick to my stomach’: MAFS videos aired