James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 34: MAFS groom cheats in gay bar

MAFS has aired a controversial world-first scandal, involving a secret date and a rejected applicant. James Weir recaps.

Married At First Sight breaks new ground on Monday night when one of the husbands cheats on his wife in a gay bar.

“I’m … curious,” he says.

Curious, indeed. Just … not in that way.

JAMES WEIR:Read all the recaps here

Tonight, producers trial the inaugural Final Test Week – a much whispered-about secret twist that has been added to this year’s experiment in a last-ditch attempt to humiliate everyone involved.

The gist of this antagonistic new challenge? All the MAFS freaks are separated into isolated suites at Trash Towers and offered a date with the rejected applicants who the experts almost matched them with.

Producers force expert Mel Schilling to read a script of caveats that has been carefully written to get ahead of accusations that the show is encouraging cheating.

“Let this be very clear: This final task is designed to test the commitment to each other,” she reads the words on the teleprompter. “This is not about trading partners.”

Um … That’s exactly what this is about.

Blink twice if ya need saving, doll xx Picture: Channel 9.

Who will accept the proposed dates?

Not Carina. There’s only one man whose nipple she shall lick melted Cadbury chocolate off – and that’s Paul’s. Love is real!

“Paul and I are the perfect match and I just want us to continue the fairy tale,” she coos to us after rejecting the offer to meet her second-place prince charming. “It’s not the right thing to do. It goes against my morals. It’s borderline cheating. I don’t think Paul would make that idiotic decision to go.”

Uh-oh. Sounds like the producers are setting someone up to fail. We wonder what decision Paul will make!

“Yeah, yeah, I reckon I’ll go meet that person,” he tells us excitedly.

Tonight’s episode has been branded in all the TV promos as a world-first, and it’s not just because of the introduction of Final Test Week. The producers are always looking for opportunities to raise their own bar – or, as Meghan Markle (sorry, Sussex! Don’t scold me!) would say, elevate. So, for absolutely no reason at all other than to cause chaos, Paul is lured into one of Sydney’s most iconic gay nightclubs at 11am on a weekday to cheat on his wife. Slay, sis!

The LGBTQ X MAFS collab that we all needed. Picture: Channel 9.

It’s here we meet the runner-up who was nearly matched with Paul. For a split-second, we’re expecting producers to wheel in a drag queen as his date, but then Hannah struts in. The only thing we know about her is she’s 32 and speaks in a Prue and Trude voice.

“That’s naaaiiiiice,” becomes a common refrain of hers as she navigates the awkward first-date conversation.

Haaaiiii! Picture: Channel 9.

Meanwhile, in sad scenes gleefully orchestrated by producers, Carina’s at home, scrubbing Paul’s jocks.

Burn ‘em. Picture: Channel 9.

While we’re here at Trash Towers, we skip down the hall to check in on Jacqui, who’s still fake crying about Ryan not wanting to be with her.

“I feel really sad after last night,” she dry-sobs

“It’s like me renovating a home. Maybe he’s just a chair and I was trying to get him to be a door. And maybe the chair needs comforting right now.”

Have you thought about consulting an interior designer, doll?

Producers really missed the opportunity to do some integrated brand promos here with Bunnings.

As the old saying goes: One door shuts, a recliner rolls open. Picture: Channel 9.

Jacqui continues to work herself up into a state about the pros and cons of chairs and doors. Suddenly, she races down the hall and barges into Ryan’s suite, where she makes one big proclamation: Ryan is the chair of her dreams.

In the big game of musical chairs that is dating, she took a seat by chance. Yes, the chair she settled into may be an ugly pleather recliner with built-in cup holders from Amart. But it’s her chair. And she’s just getting comfortable.

“I’ve loved you since the day I met you …” she dry-sobs while throwing her body onto her husband.

But Ryan? He physically ejects Jacqui off him like he’s the big red chair on Graham Norton that flips guests backwards.

“Jacqui, I don’t know if I have the energy to take all that on board at this point. I’m too old. I’m weary,” he says. “I appreciate the apologies. But it’s long f**kin’ overdue. It’s too late. It’s not enough.”

But … but … Jacqui has been working so hard! She has even consulted Google about how to exhibit basic human emotions!

“I’ve already googled ‘how to show someone you accept someone’,” she dry-sobs.

Still, it’s not enough to change Ryan’s mind. There’s only one thing for Jacqui to do. Get back out there. Have a drink, listen to the new Lady Gaga album, then go down to Fantastic Furniture and sit on a few random chairs.

‘Cool, but nah fanks.’ Picture: Channel 9.

Back at the gay bar, Hannah is asking Paul why things didn’t work out with his wife.

He stumbles.

“Um, everything is working really well with my wife,” he stammers. “She’s a lovely woman. We are very compatible on many levels.”

Hannah cocks an eyebrow. “Oh reallllly? So, if you’re so happy, why are you here?”

Yeah, Paul. Why?

“Purely out of curiosity,” he says. “I’m just a curious person.”

Duh, Paul. We know you’re curious – you’re in a gay bar.

Curious? You’re in the right place, doll xx Picture: Channel 9.

“I do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is as curious as Paul,” Hannah tells us. “This is why I’m single – because there are married men that are always looking for more. [He’s] Giving me cheater vibes.”

And with that, the date is over. Paul Ubers back to Trash Towers and rehearses how he’s going to tell Carina that he met his other woman.

He walks into the suite and tries to immediately laugh it off as a big joke that they’re both in on.

“As soon as I met her, physically – what the hell? Like, literally, [she was] a Barbie doll. This was the most uncomfortable thing ever,” he tells his wife. “Yucky.”

Cue mass destruction in five, four, three two …

“You’re an idiot! That’s all I have to say. That’s, like, cheating. You actually just cheated,” she says. “Here I am folding ya clothes and washing ya undies! You literally went on a date with another woman! I’m so much better than this! I’m done.”

Carina takes out the rubbish along with Paul. Picture: Channel 9.

She throws him out of the apartment, along with the bags of trash that have been left to fester on the floor of the hallway.

As Hannah would say: it’s not naaaiiice.

Facebook: @hellojamesweir