James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 37: MAFS final mistake ‘no one saw coming’
This tumultuous MAFS couple has up-ended the show’s final, leaving producers asking: “What just happened?” James Weir recaps.
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A Married At First Sight couple splits at Sunday’s vow renewal ceremony only to immediately backflip on the decision and rekindle their romance on camera, robbing us of the televised heartbreak we tuned in for.
We watch on in bafflement as Adrian and Awhina (whose relationship mirrors the dynamics of a fed-up mum and a naughty toddler at a supermarket) start listing all the ways they’re incompatible. But they spend too much time pressing on the bruise. Then, when it all starts to hurt too much, they feel sorry for each other and decide this means they must be in love.
It’s the ultimate break-up mistake. Rule of thumb: dump and run.
JAMES WEIR: Read all the recaps here
After 36 episodes, producers work tirelessly to fill this 90-minute instalment with whatever scraps of footage they can find.
We follow Carina — who’s desperate to find answers ahead of her vow ceremony later this week — as she turns to god.
“You need to pray about it and ask god for his blessings,” her mum instructs while they visit St Mary’s Cathedral.
God will no doubt be thrilled to assist with this request.
MORE: Gross reality of MAFS revealed
Meanwhile, in heart-wrenching scenes, my arch nemesis Jamie and my boyfriend Dave decide to … stay together. Ugh. Like Carina, I too will be calling God’s hotline to lodge a request: that he make Dave dump Jamie … And maybe also turn her into one of those creatures that’s half-man half-goat from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Across town, Beth — whose ego has been torched by Teejay’s lack of connection — decides to ditch the marriage before she even arrives at the vow ceremony. We find her wheeling her Samsonite luggage out of Trash Towers in a huff.
“I don’t want to stand there, put on a white dress like I did on my wedding day, pour my heart out to you — only for you to just reject me again,” she fumes to her ex-husband. “Final vows is not happening. This is just where we leave it. I’m not wasting my f**kin’ time anymore.”
“K,” Teejay says with a shrug.
Now this is how you execute a break-up. Beth ripped off the Band-Aid, jumped in an Uber and yelled “get bent!” out the window as it drove off. There’s no reflecting on the good times or romanticising the mundanities.
Awhina and Adrian should be taking notes on Beth’s zero-frills break-up.
Last time we saw them at Wednesday’s boozy dinner party, Awhina declared “f**k final vows” and stormed out.
But producers need to fill this episode with something, so the two of them are dragged into what looks like a hospital that’s piled high with funeral flowers. They’re promptly instructed to dump each other in front of Australia.
“What’s happenin’?” Adrian mumbles when Awhina arrives.
“Greaaat,” she dismisses him with an eye roll.
It’s around now producers start to get tricky with their editing — cutting the footage so we somersault back and forth between Adrian and Awhina as they both dump each other. The ominous sound of an orchestra swirls. We love when the producers get cinematic.
Adrian and Awhina both blame their fraught relationship on fiery emotions and the barriers of long distance.
“You are an amazing mother and I understand how important it is for you to get back to Perth and be with your son,” Adrian mumbles. “And that’s the problem. After everything, I believe these hurdles are too big to overcome. Which is why I’m now deciding that it’s best for both of us that I walk away.”
That’s where they should leave it. Now’s the time for Awhina to stomp out to the hospital carpark, jump back in the Hummer limousine and yell “get bent!” out the window.
Instead, they both stand in the waiting room of the ER, awkwardly staring at each other.
“Adrian and I definitely have chemistry,” Awhina confides in us. “The devil comes out when he smiles at me. That cheeky little smirk he does. It’s so hot.”
Um, you mean … this?
“Don’t look at me like that Adriaaaaan,” she pretends to whine.
Oh no. Girl, stop. Back away. Don’t flirt. Run to the limo Hummer!
It’s too late.
Adrian then tries to shoot her smouldering glances but it’s more menacing than sexy.
“You said you wouldn’t want to do this experience with anyone else. Do you want to spend time with me tonight?” she asks.
“Yeah,” he mumbles.
“Do you want to still talk to me?”
“Yeah, of course,” he mumbles again. “You know I have feelings for you.”
Awhina then descends into the role she has been playing all series: frustrated mum negotiating with a moody toddler.
“But you’re choosing to walk away! Adrian! YOU. LIKE. ME,” she rouses.
“I know I do,” he mumbles, and we quietly say a prayer for the producer whose sole job it has been to subtitle all of Adrian’s dialogue this season.
“We’re both saying we like each other,” Awhina says. “It’s whether or not you wanna see where this goes and clearly you still do.”
Adrian begins to mumble more nothings. “I do but then I think-”
“No, you do — that’s the answer,” Awhina interrupts. “You do. You do. I hope you realise, the decision has been made now. It is.”
And just like that, they backflip on the break-up and decide to stay together because neither of them wants to be the bad guy who makes the tough decision.
“It’s the conclusion no one saw coming!” the voiceover lady says thunderously.
We just hope Awhina knows Adrian doesn’t come with closed captions in the outside world.
Facebook: @hellojamesweir
Originally published as James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 37: MAFS final mistake ‘no one saw coming’
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