How an introverted Marcus Graham learnt to give up and ‘actually act’

People, both bad and good, have influenced Marcus Graham’s career around the world, including his hero, David Lynch.

Marcus Graham has been around the block quite a few times, has seen the very best and the very worst in people, but still somehow believes that it’ll all work out in the end. Picture: David Jobling

Marcus Graham reveals his early struggles as a young actor, his dream of working with David Lynch, and how shooting Ten Pound Poms is his “dream job”.

MARCUS GRAHAM

Age: 61

Suburb: Darlinghurst

Marcus Graham in Ten Pound Poms. Picture: Lisa Tomasetti

What do you have coming up at the moment?

I’m playing Benny Bates in season two of Ten Pound Poms, now streaming on Stan. Benny is what people in the 50s would have called “colourful”. A charming yet ruthless sort of fellow with an interesting past and powerful connections. And he also drives a very nice 1953 Jaguar. It was a dream job, I loved working on this show, I have to say.

How would you describe yourself?

As someone who’s been around the block quite a few times, who has seen the very best and the very worst in people but still somehow believes that it’ll all work out in the end.

How do you think others describe you?

Marcus Graham has “thankfully grown out of being interested in what people may or may not think of me”.

I’ve thankfully grown out of being interested in what people may or may not think of me. When I first started out it was all about that, and it was torture, I have to tell you. There are great things about getting older, and that is most definitely one of them for me.

What is most important to you?

Solitude. Without question. Without that I have nothing.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

With his father, actor Ron Graham.

I wanted to be just like my dad. Which is weird because I didn’t actually know who he was, at all. I can now say that, once, I admired my version of him greatly.

What has been the biggest obstacle you have overcome?

Quite introverted, Marcus Graham was not naturally relaxed in front of an audience.

I was not naturally relaxed in front of an audience. I’m quite introverted, if the truth be known. I think for about the first two years that I went on stage I would turn bright red, and then I’d get embarrassed because I was so embarrassed. I’d go double red – it was hell. So neurotic really, but I was determined because I wanted to be like my father who was a stage actor, so I just kept torturing myself until I got so exhausted that I just kind of gave up. I went out there and let go, I dared to let go and be dreadful, and that’s when something happened and I started to actually act based on the situation within the scene and not the reality of me being in front of an audience. Self conscious terror has been my hurdle.

What has been your toughest period?

In Picnic at Hanging Rock. Marcus Graham “got to a point where I just couldn’t take being around narcissistic personality types anymore”.

I got to a point where I just couldn’t take being around narcissistic personality types anymore, they had just taken their toll on me. Part of it was seeing my parents in a clearer light, too. I mean … let me put it another way. I enjoy and love my work, the ideas, the scripts and the creativity that comes with realising a project, the focus it takes to get something working, all that. It’s hugely fulfilling. But sometimes the people are just dreadful to be around. They are selfish and toxic, and for a while there I seriously wondered if I’d made the right choice. I was surrounded by people I couldn’t stand and I regretted following my father and getting into the arts. I thought “what would I have done if things were different?” It was my midlife crisis, I think. But now that I’ve acclimatised and grown up a little, spent time developing my own projects with this great little company AIFilms, I’ve been able to come back with new-found optimism, boundaries and respect for what it takes to make good work. And now, interestingly, the people around me are very different to the crowd I was with before. Life is good like that. Things are much healthier now.

What do you wish we could do more about?

How do we make peace and mutual respect more profitable than war and hate? I don’t know … I’d like to tip-toe around the world while everyone is asleep and pick up all the guns and bombs and hide them in a cupboard on the dark side of the moon.

What is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Marcus Graham got to work with one of his all-time favourite directors, David Lynch (inset).

I got to work with one of my all-time favourite directors, David Lynch, when I was briefly in LA. And David didn’t traditionally audition anyone, he would get you to just talk with the camera in your face. For me he was like IT. Like Kubrick or Wells or Billy Wilder. I don’t think I slept too much the night before, like two hours max, and I was all neurotic and nervous to tell you the truth, because I hadn’t actually auditioned, and I seriously started thinking ... the last thing I want is to disappoint David Lynch. I walked on set and David looked at me, he shook his head, smiled and said “you’re perfect, come this way”. His tone was “don’t be silly”. He patted me on the back and completely removed my self doubt with those kind words. I’ve never forgotten it.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Why?

Some days are better than others but the key for me seems to be self acceptance. Not change. I tried a whole lot of change and it turned out it was mostly all ego. So – that and loving all the people – regardless. Acceptance in the macro and in the micro. One reflects the other.

Originally published as How an introverted Marcus Graham learnt to give up and ‘actually act’