America’s Got Talent — behind the scenes with Hans
He’s Adelaide’s own international superstar who has dazzled an audience of millions on TV juggernaut America’s Got Talent: The Champions. Preparing for his grand final appearance on the show, HANS* took time out to give us a behind-the-scenes glimpse of his global adventure – including his own encounter with grumpy judge Simon Cowell.
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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you might have missed what is, quite frankly, the biggest news story of 2020 so far (or maybe you’re one of those weird people who only pay attention to the stories that actually matter and shape our lives).
Honey, I have made it to the grand final of America’s Got Talent: The Champions.
That’s right, move over J-Lo and Shakira with your stripper poles. Move over Barnaby Joyce. Move over Wuhan. Coronavirus? What coronavirus?
It’s the second series for the AGT spin-off, which last year saw the likes of Got Talent queen Susan Boyle competing against acts like danger duo Deadly Games and magician Shin Lim who eventually took home the trophy.
So when I got the phone call to be part of the show after first appearing on AGT in 2018, how could I resist? But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine making it all the way to the end.
This week, I will hit the stage with one final performance alongside nine other amazing acts from all over the globe.
Alongside myself there’s the likes of singer Marcelito Pomoy from The Philippines, British dance troupe Boogie Storm and fellow German Alexa Lauenburger, an 11-year-old dog trainer.
The producers of the show keep referring to everyone else as “competitors” … I prefer to call them my “support acts”.
And although it might look like glamour and glitter from the comfort of everyone’s lounge room at home, the reality of working on AGT: The Champions has been hours and hours of hard work.
First of all, we did shooting for the show in Los Angeles back in October. So, yes, I already know if I have won or not, just in case there are any bookmakers reading this who want to get in touch. I’m open to negotiations.
But the preparation actually starts months before show day.
First of all there is the song selection, which usually goes back and forth between the creative team.
Sometimes the choice is easy to get across the line, other times problems come up, such as not getting the rights for certain songs cleared to be able to use on television.
For example, Beyonce songs won’t clear for America’s Got Talent. You’d think she’d be happy for the publicity, but apparently not.
At one stage, the creative team were pushing for me to sing a Panic! At The Disco song, but I stuck to my guns and insisted on something a little more fun. I do hope Panic! At The Disco aren’t offended, but I just thought people might want to hear songs that they’ll actually enjoy.
For round one, we settled on the Lizzo hit Juice. Now it was time to decide just what the hell was going to happen on stage.
When I was growing up in Berlin, a small humble child practising his accordion each day, never did I imagine I would be in front of an audience of 3000 people, including judges Simon Cowell, Howie Mandel, Alesha Dixon and that other timeless German beauty, Heidi Klum.
I certainly never imagined I would be descending on to that stage via a giant inflatable banana … OK, maybe I did a little bit.
I’ll be honest and say the bananas in round one were not my idea, but from the creative team. However, once I saw the proposal I was totally on board.
The thing about AGT is you’ve got to stand out from the other performers, so bananas it was. Because the show is prerecorded, they do spend a long time filming each act. I was performing seventh on the night, so by then filming had already been going for a good 4 ½ hours. It goes without saying that the audience were starting to get a little restless.
Not exactly the mood you want when you’re about to deliver a fun comedy performance.
I also had to go on straight after a comedian who had bombed and who then got into a huge argument with the judges.
Needless to say, the nerves were building while we were waiting in the wings. However, maybe it was the bananas but once the dancers and I hit that stage, the whole room came alive once again.
Well, the whole room except one person – Simon!
It had never happened before, but let me tell you that when that red buzzer is pressed, it’s so loud that it almost feels like someone has let a bomb off in the theatre.
Then, the minute Simon buzzed me, the whole crowd started booing him. It was like a riot.
And while all this was going on, the dancers and I just had to keep going with our performance. After the song finished, Simon was even more cutting. “It was impossible to make that worse,” he said.
Frankly, I blame Brexit for this. I mean, a British man hating a European. This is your fault, Boris Johnson! Thankfully, the rest of the judging panel and the audience were on my side.
“I love you,” said Heidi. “Honestly, I feel like someone took all of my favourite things in the world, which is Germany, singing, dancing, glitter, and made you.” Alesha stood up to her British boss, saying: “You don’t have to take it so seriously, Simon. I felt good watching you. This is fabulous. You’re fabulous.”
Directly after the performance, I was a little rattled. What the hell just happened. Then I got called outside. Simon was there having his cigarette break (he takes many of those) and had a chat to me off camera.
“I just want to make sure you’re not upset. Are you?” he asked.
I was a little confused, out of all the judges, Simon was the one we never really got to talk to on the regular season of AGT.
“You know what this show is and you know I have a role to play on this show,” he said.
“You’re an act people either love or hate, so if the other three judges are gushing over you I need to balance it out for the people watching.”
I get it. It’s a TV show.
“You know you’re always part of the family here,” he finished telling me. Now, I just assumed Simon was being nice because I was about to be sent home and he wanted to make peace – it was actually a very sweet moment.
So, when I eventually got voted through, thanks to Heidi and Howie, in a nailbiting elimination, the shock that you see on my face was very real.
I’m going to take a moment to do something very rare for me – I’m about to be humble.
If I am telling the truth, I never expected to last more than one round this time. I even had gigs lined up in Australia for when the filming was due for the grand final.
So, when I went through to the semi-finals I had a week to fly from LA to Melbourne, perform two shows on Friday and Saturday nights, and then fly back to LA on the Sunday.
All the while doing the same process with the creative team that we had spent months on for the first round in one week this time. My flight to LA landed at 9am on a Sunday and by 11am I was in the rehearsal studio with the dancers again getting ready for our performance on the Tuesday.
In those three days, we also had hours of filming, interviews, costume fittings, music rehearsals. Most days we were working for 15 hours. But on the night, it was all worth it.
When I looked out into the audience with their “Vote Hans” signs and flashing pink lights, it just made me so excited to give it my all. The next thing I knew I was doing the splits and there were streamers and confetti everywhere.
It went by in a flash. The audience was on its feet, the judges were on their feet and it was exactly what I wanted the show to be – a giant party.
Even Simon was happy (at least I think he was, it’s difficult to tell with his new face).
“I shouldn’t have loved that … but I did,” he said. Now it’s full steam ahead to the grand final, which will go to air on Tuesday, Australian time.
Many have asked what I am planning on performing. Let me just say: expect something of Super Bowl proportions! It’s going to be the greatest show on Earth!
■America’s Got Talent: The Champions airs on Saturdays on FOX8.
■ Hans’s new show, Haus of Hans: Disco Spektakular opens at the Adelaide Fringe on February 25. Tickets at adelaidefringe.com.au
■ Hans is performing at The Advertiser Foundation Ladies Day Luncheon at the Hilton Adelaide on February 20, alongside Home and Away star Mia Morrissey and School of Rock’s Nadia Komazec and Joe Kosky. Tickets: Angela Condous, ph 8206 2344 OR email angela.condous@news.com.au
* Hans is the all-Aussie alter ego of Sunday Mail columnist Matt Gilbertson