Why royal family’s expressionless faces after Queen’s death should be talked about
A striking photo of the late Queen Elizabeth’s eight grandchildren standing solemnly at her coffin raises one very important question.
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Eight grandchildren – one aged just 14 – stand at their grandmother’s coffin, expressionless.
It would be a strange sight, if they did not happen to be members of the royal family.
The expectation of royals to maintain a strong exterior and hide their emotions in public even in the days after a beloved family member’s death is hard to watch.
Brothers Prince William, 40, and Prince Harry, 38, were joined by Princess Beatrice, 34, Princess Eugenie, 32, Lady Louise Windsor, 18, James, Viscount Severn, 14, Peter Phillips, 44, and Zara Tindall, 41, at a vigil in Westminster Hall during Queen Elizabeth II’s lying in state on Saturday.
As the royals stood motionless, composed and with their heads lowered, mourners – many of whom would have never met the eight royals’ “Grannie” – passed with red faces and wet eyes.
The night before, King Charles III led his siblings, Princess Anne and Princes Andrew and Edward, in a vigil for the Queen.
There was no sniffle, no lip quiver, no stray tear. They held back any emotion they felt standing before their mother’s coffin.
Royals have been expected to always remain strong and composed even in times of crisis, as the British people look to them for reassurance.
But you only have to look at social media to know it is the relatable moments with emotion, reminding us that they are human, that the public love to see the most.
Sophie, Countess of Wessex, stood quietly in the gallery to watch her children Louise and James during the vigil, but caught the whole world’s attention because she appeared teary.
William made headlines at a walkabout on Thursday after telling a mourner: “Don’t cry, you’ll start me.”
Since stepping down as a working royal, Harry has spoken about the pressure he felt to suppress his feelings growing up as a royal – even after losing his mum, Princess Diana, at the age of 12.
“It was like I was outside of my body just walking along doing what was expected of me, showing one tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing,” he said last year on the documentary seriesThe Me You Can’t See, reflecting on how the crowd was able to show more emotion than him after Diana’s death.
After seeking therapy in recent years, Harry said he realised how badly not being able to talk about his feelings had affected him mentally.
“The moment I started therapy, it was probably within my second session, my therapist turned around to me and said, ‘That sounds like you’re reverting to 12-year-old Harry,’” the royal said.
“I felt somewhat ashamed and defensive. Like, ‘How dare you? You’re calling me a child.’ And she goes, ‘No, I’m not calling you a child. I’m expressing sympathy and empathy for you for what happened to you when you were a child. You never processed it. You were never allowed to talk about it and all of a sudden now it’s coming up in different ways as projection.’”
While it must be noted every person grieves differently and not all will show the pain of their loss through tears, do we really still expect in 2022 the royal family to suppress emotion in public?
No one should feel weak for showing or talking about their feelings, especially grief.
Originally published as Why royal family’s expressionless faces after Queen’s death should be talked about
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