Parenting apps and Year 9 graduation ceremonies sound nice – but they’re both a bit much | Jess Adamson

It’s the academic version of a ribbon for everyone on sports day and I fear soon it will be at every year level, writes Jess Adamson.

2024’s ATAR results are in, school’s out, lunch boxes are packed away and the parents’ app has almost fallen silent.

Thank goodness, because I almost threw my phone in the bin in those few weeks of term with all the extra events and activities going on. It was relentless.

For those lucky enough not to have a school parents’ app, it’s designed to keep us up to date with any late uniform or schedule changes, sport cancellations, events, costume requirements, class presents and fundraising activities.

Sporting clubs use them too which means if you have multiple children in multiple teams, sometimes the phone is lighting up every hour of the day.

It’s meant to make parenting easier but the jury’s out on that for me.

Every parent app is filled with questions and chatter about things that have been communicated by the teachers, class reps or team managers days or weeks before via email.

I love all the parents we’re lucky enough to be going through the school years with, but I’ll admit my patience has been tested when it comes to parent apps.

Earlier this year, my irritation at the constant messages got the better of me.

That’s enough helpful parenting apps for this year. Picture: iStock

I muttered my frustrations aloud which Siri kindly recorded for me, transcribed perfectly and popped it on the group app for all to see. Awkward.

I could opt out of the apps but then I’d be the parent that missed casual clothes day, the book week brief or the footy group photo.

Maybe that would be a good thing given the app puts the onus on parents to be across everything at every waking moment, rather than encouraging our children to take responsibility.

The apps get particularly hectic when there’s a school event on.

What time does it start? What time does it finish? What are the kids wearing? Will there be food? Is it compulsory?

And that leads me to one of those events. We’ve lost the plot when it comes to school graduations.

Since when have year 9 graduations become a thing?

I know parents who were frantically rushing from work in the last weeks of term for their child’s year 9 graduation, and none of them, children included, quite understood why.

Not every school is doing it but alarmingly, they’re becoming more common.

What on earth are they graduating from, apart from middle school, which at most schools is on the same campus as senior school?

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Our daughter’s school recentlycelebrated the end of year 6. It was low-key but magnificent. A well organised, one-hour ceremony with the perfect mix of nostalgia and excitement for the transition to senior school.

Finishing junior school is worth reflecting on, but we won’t have a graduation until year 12 and that’s how it should be.

Year 9 can be a tricky year with plenty going on emotionally but most of us survived it without getting a certificate at the end.

I’m all for fostering confidence and encouraging kids who might be struggling to stay at school, but a graduation ceremony is meant to be for something earned, not for moving from one legally mandated year to the next, regardless of results, input or attendance.

In effort to make children feel special, we’re losing the meaning of graduation, something that was truly an achievement.

It’s the academic version of a ribbon for everyone on sports day and I fear that before we know it, we’ll have a graduation for every year level.

The growing tradition is building presumption within our young people, setting unrealistic expectations of reward and recognition during their working and adult lives.

It’s building a bunch of future egos that are going to be crushed when they’re not applauded at every turn.

Kindy graduations make me feel uncomfortable too.

It’s super cute to see the little ones on their big day, but putting them in a black gown and mortarboard when they can’t add up is too much.

It’s obvious they have no idea what on earth is going on and neither should they.

Plenty of parents I know agree it’s a complete waste of everyone’s time, yet what parent wouldn’t turn up?

No one wants their child to be the one scanning the crowd only to find you couldn’t get out of work for another event in an already packed calendar.

And if kindy’s not starting early enough, there are apparently now graduations from mothers’ groups.

The babies, some of them just 9 or 10 months old, can’t lift their head from the mat for the photo, but the show goes on. Every new parent deserves a trophy for surviving that first year, preferably in the shape of a full champagne glass, but not a graduation.

When you complete university, trade school or any tertiary institution, you’ve passed the course and earned the moment.

Graduations should be a celebration of success and sacrifice, and nothing less.

Originally published as Parenting apps and Year 9 graduation ceremonies sound nice – but they’re both a bit much | Jess Adamson