Opinion: Barking mad campaign has the party faithful salivating

If politicians are a reflection of society, we must be a pretty shabby lot who will vote for whoever promises to give us the most money, writes Mike O’Connor.

There’s this dog standing at a lectern addressing a crowd of canines who “woof-woof” their approval as he declares that if elected, he will legalise ­drinking from the toilet.

It appeared on Facebook last week, and like all brilliant cartoons, encapsulated the madness that we all now endure as politicians crisscross the country, pockets bulging with ­promises of a better tomorrow.

I was still smiling when another unsolicited message appeared on my phone, this one from Friends of the ABC promoting a dark suggestion from former highly remunerated employees, including one-time Media Watch host Jonathan Holmes, that the Government, if re-elected, would privatise the national broadcaster.

It won’t, and Prime Minister Scott Morrison has said so on numerous occasions, but that doesn’t matter.

The fact that former high-profile ABC journalists, who rail against ­suggestions that the national ­broadcaster has an ingrained anti-Coalition bias, are conducting a scare campaign against the Government during an election campaign pretty much says it all.

I’ve a feeling that if a decision was ever made to privatise it, the ABC luvvies might be shocked to discover that most Australians think it has ­become a self-important irrelevance and would not mourn its passing.

Anthony Albanese (centre) and Scott Morrison face off in Parliament.

Meanwhile, the Greens announced their own version of legalised toilet drinking by declaring that if they formed a government with Labor, they would ban all new coal and gas projects, wipe student debt and make housing more affordable.

They would also dump plans to acquire nuclear submarines, dismissing them as “floating Chernobyls” – now there’s word picture for you – and reduce defence spending in an attempt to “de-escalate” with China, all this to the sound of loud “woof-woofing” from their followers as with their tails wagging, they frolic their way further and further into fantasy land.

Greens leader Adam Bandt might care to ask the people of the Ukraine for their thoughts on de-escalation with totalitarian states as the artillery shells rain down and they bury the thousands of civilians who have been executed in cold blood by Russian soldiers.

Anthony Albanese has sworn hand-on-heart that he will not form a government with the Greens. We will see. As they stand now, the Greens pose a clear and present danger to our national security.

Net-zero emissions won’t count for much if the Chinese establish a military base in the Solomon Islands.

That the government must pay parents to get people to look after the children that they can’t afford or don’t want to look after themselves has now become a cornerstone of Australian politics, with promises to stuff more money into the pockets of childcare operators via subsidies triggering a chorus of woof-woofs by lycra-clads mums throughout the land as they sip a chai latte and arrange to have their nails done.

“Childcare reform is an economic powerhouse that has the potential to unleash huge returns to our GDP, by getting more parents working the hours they want and need,” said Labor’s early childhood education spokeswoman Amanda Rishworth.

Labor’s promise, made in its 2020 Budget reply, to implement a 90 per cent childcare subsidy would cost taxpayers an extra $63 billion over a 10-year span for a total cost of $213 billion.

Parents would pay $3195 a year for childcare for two children three days a week with the government paying the balance of $28,755. Woof! Woof!

The media circus, meanwhile, moves on from one contrived photo opportunity to the next as Albo and ScoMo visit factories that they will never set foot in again, make small talk with total strangers and are painfully careful to dress as “ordinary” people, not a suitcoat or tie to be seen.

Albanese continues to invoke the ghosts of past Labor glories, skipping any reference to the Rudd-Gillard years and seeking the reflected glory of Hawke and Keating while reminding anyone who’s listening and many who aren’t that he grew up in a council house in Struggle Street, while Morrison assures us he is just a good old-fashioned, footy-lovin’ boy from The Shire.

If politics and politicians are a reflection of society, then it must be said that we are a pretty shabby lot who will vote for whoever promises to give us, in one form or another, the most money.

A little over 61 years ago John F. Kennedy was sworn in as the 35th president of the United States, addressing the nation and saying: “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”

I dare Albanese or Morrison to invoke that spirit today.

Originally published as Opinion: Barking mad campaign has the party faithful salivating