Federal election 2019: Why I’m voting for The Greens

Michelle Brasier is voting Greens for one reason — because “the world is on fire” and she’s convinced they’re the only party that even cares.

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The year is 2000. The air is alive with the sweet smell of Impulse and Lynx. Britney Spears is on top of the charts and Mrs Ferguson sits us all down to explain how voting works in Australia.

She uses Britney Spears as an example.

“So if you vote for Britney but she doesn’t get over half the votes, you might want to look at who she has put down as her first best friend (Justin Timberlake). Justin now gets that vote. “Unless, of course, you specify that you want your second chance vote to go to Christina Aguilera, in which case that’s where it will go … or something … We aren’t sure … anyway, here’s some out of date sex education.”

Voting has always been a little bit confusing. It’s not great because Australians are legally required to vote (or cop a fine) but not legally required to be properly educated about it in any way. Or at the very least, my generation wasn’t.

For reference, I am one of the avocado generation. This puts me in the typical baby making age for women. I am not currently making a baby. For a number of reasons, not the least of which — the world is on fire.

The world is on fire — school kids know. Why don’t we all? Picture: William West/AFP

Sure, it’s annoying for you to have to vote if you don’t want to but you know what else is annoying? Climate change. Floods and fires and species dying out and vulnerable people’s rights being stripped away. Argh, so ANNOYING!

Also annoying — the people living in countries where voting can mean be risking your life.

So stop whingeing. Make your vote count. Do something.

I’m scared about the future so I’m voting for the Greens.

Yep, I am publicly declaring here of all places, that I’m voting for the Greens.

I’m voting because I hold out hope that this is a party of people who are in politics because they genuinely care about the things I care about.

I’m voting for them because I want enough of them in the room to make a difference.

They highly preference Labor so it’s not a “waste” for anyone trying to get rid of the current government.

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I have hope. Hope isn’t very cool. Being sincere and trying to do the right thing isn’t as cool as being rich — but it’s more important.

My generation is accused of having bleeding hearts. So? Why are you so mad? You little people are so upset that we have hope and positivity and empathy? That’s your insult? That we sip lattes? Have you had a latte? It’s a treat!

We have a real habit of making fun of people who do the right thing because “they think they are better than us”. So maybe we should be better ourselves.

I would rather be an “inner city (convenient), latte sipping (yum), bleeding heart (person with feelings) leftie” than somebody who actively promotes the continuation of cruel border policies, epic destruction of our own natural habitat and normalises discrimination.

I’m encouraging you to vote for the climate. If you don’t want to vote for the Greens, vote for Labor. They are easily bullied into things by both sides and if we are loud enough, they will usually listen to us. I hope they win. I truly do.

Greens MP Adam Bandt, Leader of the Australian Greens Dr Richard Di Natale and Greens candidate for Kooyong Julian Burnside. Picture: Penny Stephens/AAP

Even those of us who are thinking of voting for the Coalition because they might sit on the economic right, have to stop and think for a second.

Your money will get you nowhere if all of our natural resources are gone. You aren’t going to be rich enough to stop climate change. Invest in renewables. Maybe you can get filthy rich from that.

Humans are the only animal that don’t always act in the best interest of the continuation of their species.

Let’s be better than dogs. Just kidding, nobody is better than dogs (hot tip — I’m also highly preferencing the Animal Justice Party).

In summary: Do you research. Don’t be a d*ck to the earth because Mars would be a sh*tty place to live.

Michelle Brasier is a comedian and freelance writer. Continue the conversation @michellebrasier

Originally published as Federal election 2019: Why I’m voting for The Greens