‘I just broke down’: Queensland farmer on traumatic farm incident that killed colleague
Fifth generation Qld farmer Sam Fryer has revealed the traumatic death of a colleague on a NT station made him ‘fall apart’, causing him to suffer PTSD and a breakdown.
Sam Fryer wears many hats – he’s a fifth-generation beef farmer, podcast host, husband, father, and a prominent figure in North Queensland’s primary production circles.
But the 34-year-old has an acute understanding that the heaviest burdens are the ones concealed under our hats.
Fryer’s personal battles with mental health have led him to put his voice and support behind the farmer-focused campaign Don’t Keep it Under Your Hat. The initiative was established by TIACS (This Is A Conversation Starter), a specialised mental health support charity, after research it conducted found farmers seeking mental health help doubled last year.
Today, Fryer says he’s “in a really good spot” but this is a far cry from a decade ago, when an accumulation of traumatic events eventually saw him “fall apart”.
Aged 10, Fryer navigated immense grief that followed the tragic death of his younger sister, Alex. Born with cerebral palsy, Alex suffered a heart attack following an epileptic fit just eight days after her eighth birthday.
The following year, Fryer left his school of about five students to attend a 1500-head boarding school hundreds of kilometres from home, where he was the target of bullying.
On reflection, Fryer says he should have sought help then but growing up on a property near Hughenden, halfway between Townsville and Mount Isa, it didn’t even occur to him this was an option.
“I grew up in a very ‘don’t have a chip your shoulder, men don’t cry’ environment,” he says.
“Then throughout school, we were told so much about what to eat, how to workout and look after our bodies, but we were never actually told how to look after ourselves mentally. We just weren’t equipped with the tools so we kind of had to learn and fumble our way through.”
When he was 17, Fryer was involved in a horrific motorbike accident on a remote property that saw him almost lose an arm.
While riding on the back of a bike, the halter Fryer earlier used to catch horses went through the back wheel and pulled his arm through with it, breaking his bone, and tearing skin and muscle from under his arm.
Fryer was faced with the news he’d likely lose his hand but after months of surgeries and physiotherapy, he successfully regained use of it.
The tipping point for Fryer was the death of a colleague when he was 22.
“I was working on a station up in the Northern Territory,” he says.
“There was faulty machinery that caused an accident and ended up with the person I was working with, he was hurt, and we had to commence CPR until the Flying Doctors came.
“The ambulance and Flying Doctors rocked up and he had passed away. I was only a couple of weeks into getting to the property where I was working. I was still very young, very fresh and inexperienced in how to deal with stuff.
“That year I really struggled with PTSD, a lot of depression. I’d break out in a rash every couple of nights just from the stress. I finished up at the property and I moved on, and it wasn’t until I went back home … I just broke down one night, in front of Mum and Dad.
“I’d been holding on, holding on, holding on and then I just fell apart.”
A neighbour who had dealt with depression put Fryer in contact with a psychologist in Townsville, a three-and-a-half hour drive from Fryer’s home.
“I started seeing someone face-to-face regularly, so it was about half a day driving to see a specialist,” Fryer says.
“This was about 10 years ago so TIACS wasn’t around then.
“At the moment, I’m in a really good spot and to ensure I keep on going forward in the right mental space, I have a pretty good routine. I usually get up early for a walk in the morning, I do a workout and every second morning I do an ice bath, I try and eat as healthy as I can, which is a big thing and I don’t drink much alcohol anymore.
“I also do regular check-ins with myself, or with TIACS – every now and then I might give them a call and touch base. I’ve really worked hard to get to this spot.”
Shortly after Fryer embarked on his mental wellness journey, in 2015, TIACS co-founder Daniel Allen received a life-changing call while working as a carpenter.
The news of his best friend’s suicide forged an unbreakable bond with his apprentice, Ed Ross, who provided crucial support during this difficult time.
The open conversations about mental health between Allen and Ross saw them launch TradeMutt – a colourful, high-vis workwear label emblazoned with the phrase This Is A Conversation Starter.
Fryer – who went to school with Ross – became an avid TradeMutt wearer as he strived to open up more conversations within his field.
The popularity and success of TradeMutt allowed Allen and Ross to establish TIACS, which offers a free phone and text counselling service to Australia’s blue-collar community.
“After losing one of my best mates to suicide, I didn’t wake up the next day thinking that I needed to go on a mission to end all suicide,” Allen says.
“My grieving process took time and it was a real rollercoaster of emotions.
“When the idea of TradeMutt came up, it wasn’t even initially a social enterprise, it was just a funky workwear brand.
“TIACS soon followed, firstly out of the observation that there were too many barriers preventing people from accessing free, professional support and, secondly, out of necessity to meet the requirements of being a social enterprise by donating 50 per cent of our profits to the cause.”
TIACS has four primary audience segments under the umbrella of blue collar workers: Tradies, Truckies, Farmers and their support networks.
Supported by the Macdoch Foundation, Allen says the Don’t Keep it Under Your Hat campaign was specifically focused on farmers “given the unique challenges our primary producers face on a daily basis, which is only exacerbated by the physical and emotional isolation they experience coupled with a lack of general access to services that can support them”.
“The campaign is designed to use the symbolism of the classic felt hat synonymous with the land as a relatable yet punchy way to remind farmers to be conscious of what’s going on under that hat and as a gentle reminder that the TIACS support service is there when they need it,” he says.
“Every hat has a story and every farmer wearing that hat should tell those stories. When people like Sam Fryer open up about their own experiences, that is actively talking about mental health, from a very real and personal perspective and, in doing so, makes it OK for others to do the same.
“Sam is leading by example and showing others what talking about mental health actually looks like in 2024.”
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Originally published as ‘I just broke down’: Queensland farmer on traumatic farm incident that killed colleague
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