Why ‘experience gifts’ are king this Father’s Day

WHILE there’s some joy in giving dad another pair of PJ’s this Father’s Day, chances are, he won’t be that excited by them (despite the big, goofy grin that’s on his face well after gift-giving).

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WHILE there’s some joy in giving dad another pair of PJ’s this Father’s Day, chances are, he won’t be that excited by them (despite the big, goofy grin that’s on his face well after gift-giving).

If we were to take a gamble, we’d probably say, the pinstripe pyjamas (although warm and cosy), isn’t the reason for his big, belly laugh - it’s you. You sitting cross-legged on the floor, with the dog in your lap, drinking coffee while the kids run ‘round excited for the day ahead. It’s the lavish lunch that mum’s organised for the family (and the beautiful bottles of red to go with it). It’s the experience of having you all over, so he can smile from the head of the table and feel all the warm and fuzzies that go with it.

While receiving any kind of pressies is a win, studies show that people “enjoy greater wellbeing from life experiences and consider them to be a better use of money.” In the same vein, swapping the annual pair of socks for a six-course lunch with dad, helps “foster stronger relationships than any material item could.” In other words, the joy of sharing a rich reserve red and swapping stories with the family, is far more valuable, as you’ve taken time to sit, listen and laugh with those you love most. It’s the experience itself that turns your present situation, into a gift.

According to Registered Psychologist, Rachel Hard, the rise of social media plays a part in the generational shift of spending on experiences and away from things. “There is a huge pressure to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ and to be seen living our best lives via social media,” Rachel says. “This desire to emulate or pursue people’s experiences can change how people view experiences versus material items. As our social interactions move online, there may be a reduction in face-to-face interaction, which drives people to communicate or seek out social situations. This highlights the importance of opportunities where we can engage in-person.” Sharing a meal with dad, is much more appreciated than sending him a hamper on Father’s Day.

In addition, experience gifts are harder to choose than material gifts, making the whole experience a more thoughtful one. “You need to know a lot about your loved ones in order to pick the perfect experience,” Rachel says. “So this demonstrates a lot of thoughtfulness, creativity and genuine understanding of your friends or family members’ preferences and likes. In turn, this can boost your relationship or your way of demonstrating how much you know about them and listen to them.”

This is not the first time we’ve heard of this. Dr. Thomas Gilovich from Cornell University previously found that “money bought you happiness, but, only up to a certain point (the Easterlin paradox)”. “Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods... you can really like your material stuff,” Dr. Thomas wrote as part of his findings. “You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless, they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

This is also why Rachel believes joint experiences are best. “They give you an opportunity to do something new and exciting together (a surefire way to increase connection); you get to spend more time together and make memories along the way.

“In a society where more interactions are happening virtually, the opportunity to spend time with someone one-on-one is incredibly important and meaningful, as they create everlasting memories.” Here are three more benefits Rachel believes comes from the gift of experience:

NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU

While dad might love his stash of cookbooks, taking him to a cooking class will make your gift incomparable. “If you gift an experience, it isn’t as easy to compare it to gifts that other people have given, which means your gift will stand out from the pile, literally,” Rachel says. Who’s the favourite child now?

KEEP ON GIVING

An experience gives you pics, laughter, tears and stories, which is far better than that one  time dad wore your daggy tie out. “Although the experience might have been and gone, the memories will be reflected upon for years to come,” Rachel adds. “If the experience is a shared activity with your loved one, it’s also an opportunity for you to make and build on these memories together.”

GET HAPPY

By rejecting the notion of a standard pressie, and gifting your loved ones shared experiences, you’re also gifting them to opportunity to engage and bond. Plus, it means you’d rather spend time with them, as opposed to like liking their Facebook pic or sharing their Pinterest board. “The saying goes, ‘you can’t buy happiness,’ however, we are social creatures and socialising can increase happiness.”

Originally published as Why ‘experience gifts’ are king this Father’s Day