Biggest challenge for any relationship

YOU meet, you fall in love, you get a starter house, and then what? Here’s how to survive your first home reno as a couple.

couple renovating

YOU meet, you fall in love, you get a starter house, and then what? Here’s how to survive your first home reno as a couple.

Building, planning a renovation or even maintaining a home with your partner might be fun to start, but the big expectations and not-so-big budgets can get to anyone.

In fact, statistics show 71% of homeowners who are married or living with their partner say they’ve experienced tension in their relationship when they need to repair, maintain or renovate their homes.

While it can be tough to completely avoid the anxiety that comes with a home reno, Vicole Tarratt, Provisional Psychologist for Lysn Health, believes there are ways to minimise the stress of living room layouts, project permits and tight timelines. She says there are four main things to keep in mind:

1. Have a regular home maintenance plan in place

Sit down together and make a solid list of, and set reminders for, all the extra little jobs that are likely to come up during the project that could be forgotten once you get going. These are things like cleaners, gardeners, pest control, lawn mowers, appliance repairs (aircon / heaters), drainage, and plumbing. hipages can help you hire someone in advance avoid last-minute hassles.

Properly maintaining your property in the first place will help the whole process. This means keeping an eye out and getting things fixed before that mold wrecks the whole wall, before the packed guttering causes a bushfire risk, before the septic tank gets blocked and you have to replace the whole system. Spending $500 on maintenance now could easily save you $5000 down the track, so don’t procrastinate.

2. A stitch in time saves nine (arguments)

The most important – and easily missed - step on a building or renovation plan is to check everything over with the council before you make a start. Your property may be subject to estate, strata or body corporate guidelines that could affect your project.

Before you make any changes to your home – including knocking down walls, building an extension or doing anything that will affect your neighbours – you will require a development application. This is normally followed by a construction or building application to outline all the details.

Getting this step right can save major headaches down the track, because without the right paperwork, your unapproved works may be halted or even unceremoniously removed.

3. Clear #couplegoals are key

After getting lost in a deep, dark hole of Instagram and Pinterest boards and #renovationinspiration, think through your project as a pair. Determine what you need versus what you want, asking questions which will help unearth individual concerns surrounding the project. An overwhelming amount of couples surveyed recently by hipages feel they are too busy or don’t have enough time (51%), haven’t budgeted for the work/don’t have enough savings (51%) and because they don’t know a good tradesperson to do the work (36%).

 Avoid these extra tensions by agreeing on a realistic budget, and then add a buffer. Use your findings to create a renovation plan, which will help keep track of your agreed budget, discussed design and proposed project goals. Be sure to make room for inevitable setbacks which can apply pressure to you and your partner if not counted for. “Planning can reduce stress and anxiety by minimising time and effort required to achieve our goals,” Vicole says. “By planning the steps and setting achievable goals, we mentally prepare ourselves and set manageable expectations rather than be surprised or overwhelmed. Many couples use Renovation planning spreadsheets, apps or checklists to build a plan to work with. 

4. Hire a trusted professional

Regardless of how big or small your job is - from full-blown renos to fixing the kitchen tap - try to hire a licensed and experienced tradie. This will save you a bunch of a whole bunch of late-night stress-eating, plus it will be heaps better than most of DIY handiwork, and it will last much longer.

“We often do things ourselves only to find that we are not skilled enough or that we just couldn’t do it,” Vicole says. “Even though this is a setback, it is important to remember that renovating is not always easy and that it does not mean you wouldn’t be able to do it with training. However, if you only require to do it once, reduce your stress and anxiety by hiring a professional to do the job, or even show you how it is done. Consider that it will save you time, and possibly money if you decide to hire someone else by not having to learn through failures.”

Before committing to a contractor, ask your family and friends for referrals, read recommendations or ask to see their past work. It’s important you trust them with your most valuable asset: your home. Use HiPages to get multiple quotes from professional tradies, then choose the right person for the job.

5. Dream big then Plan, Plan, Plan

After getting lost in a deep, dark hole of Instagram and Pinterest boards and #renovationinspiration, think through your project as a pair. Determine what you need versus what you want, asking questions which will help unearth individual concerns surrounding the project.

*Most couples are too busy/don’t have enough time (51%), haven’t budgeted for the work/don’t have enough savings (51%) and because they don’t know a good tradesperson to do the work (36%). Agree on a realistic budget and then add a buffer.

Use your findings to create a renovation plan, which will help keep track of your agreed budget, discussed design and proposed project goals. Be sure to make room for inevitable setbacks which can apply pressure to you and your partner if not counted for.

“Planning can reduce stress and anxiety by minimising time and effort required to achieve our goals,” Vicole says. “By planning the steps and setting achievable goals, we mentally prepare ourselves and set manageable expectations rather than be surprised or overwhelmed.

Many couples use Renovation planning spreadsheets, apps or checklists to build a plan to work with.

Originally published as Biggest challenge for any relationship