‘I shouldn’t be here’: England cricket legend Andrew Flintoff breaks silence on Top Gear crash

English cricket legend Andrew Flintoff has spoken for the first time on the horrific Top Gear car crash that almost claimed his life.

Andrew Flintoff has revealed his Top Gear accident left him such a bundle of nerves he had to leave social gatherings to cry.

The 46-year-old England cricket legend has laid bare for the first time the physical and emotional fallout from the horrific car crash in 2022.

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Flintoff, who has had several operations on his face, reveals in his new TV show that he sometimes finds himself “in situations which I’m never quite sure I can get through”.

The former cricketer, famed for his larger-than-life persona, added: “There’ll be times when I take myself off and you won’t see me for half an hour. I’ll go cry in my room and come back.”

However Freddie says he feels fortunate to have survived the smash, which turned him into a recluse who barely left the house for seven months.

The father of four is now resuming his TV career with BBC One’s Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams On Tour — and he is determined to make the most of his “second chance” at life.

“I genuinely should not be here after what happened. It’s going to be a long road back and I’ve only just started,” Flintoff said.

“I’ve got to look at the positives, I’ve got another chance, and I’m going to go at it. I’m seeing that as how it is – a second go.”

Andrew Flintoff during his time on Top Gear. Picture: BBC

Freddie is seen facing his fears in a heartbreaking scene in the documentary where his facial wounds are weeks old.

His many stitches are on show, he has a large dressing on his cheek, and when Freddie speaks his familiar Lancashire voice is distorted by his swollen lips and broken nose.

With his voice breaking he added: “I am struggling already and I need help. I really am. I’m not the best at asking for it. I need to stop crying every two minutes.”

Later, he said: “I am what I am now. I’m different to what I was. It’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life. Better? No. Different.

“Something happened which changed my life forever.”

Flintoff had to be airlifted to hospital following the accident at Dunsfold Park Aerodrome, Surrey, as he filmed an episode of Top Gear with co-stars Paddy McGuinness and Chris Harris.

The three-wheel roadster he was driving flipped, leaving him with substantial facial lacerations, broken bones and damage to his teeth.

The four-parter, which starts next Tuesday, sees Flintoff tell fellow cricketer Kyle Hogg he thought he could recover within 12 weeks of the crash in December 2022.

But, talking from his kitchen during his recovery, Flintoff reveals he is instead wracked with anxiety and suffers nightmares and flashbacks.

“I thought I could just shake it off,” he said. “I wanted to just shake it off and say, ‘I’m alright’. But it’s not been a case of that.

“It’s been a lot harder than I thought. As much as I’ve wanted to go out and do things I’ve just not been able to.

“You’ve got to try to put it in perspective and I feel guilty — I can’t do that. I don’t want to sit in here feeling sorry for myself. And I don’t want sympathy. Everywhere I go at the minute I’ve got a full face mask and glasses on — I can’t do that.

“I struggle with anxiety, you know I have nightmares, flashbacks — it’s been so hard to cope with. But I’m thinking if I don’t do something I’m never going to go. I’ve got to get on with it.”

Flintoff was still sporting the scars in September 2023. Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Flintoff with the England team at the T20 World Cup. Photo by Gareth Copley/Getty Images

He also opens about his anxiety at resurrecting Fields of Dreams.

The first series in 2022, before his crash, saw him attempt to transform a bunch of non-cricketers into a team, with heartwarming results.

The sequel now sees him take the same group of lads to India, where the locals are fanatical about the sport.

Flintoff seemed to hint he might not return to TV full-time as the show has reignited his passion for coaching, and helped reinstate his confidence.

“I learned a bit about coaching – you’re coaching people not players, which is something I’ll take away, hopefully, in my career – whatever that leads to next,” Flintoff said. “I suppose I found a confidence out there that had been knackered a bit in recent times.

“I always wanted to get back into coaching, and I probably shouldn’t say it, but I fell into, like, a TV trap, you know? I was doing TV and moving forward, obviously.

“I’d love to do more coaching, I don’t know in what entity or work, and do a little bit of TV as well. It’s been a nice shift.”

This story first appeared in The Sun and was republished with permission.

Originally published as ‘I shouldn’t be here’: England cricket legend Andrew Flintoff breaks silence on Top Gear crash