Grim Broncos truth exposed as coach’s message falls flat

The Broncos’ tremendous 2023 was supposed to mark the return of the club’s glory days, instead it’s been exposed as the fluke of the century.

Adam Reynolds and Kevin Walters. NRL Imagery

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The Broncos’ tremendous 2023 was supposed to mark the return of the club’s glory days, a season recalled as the line in the sand separating sustained supremacy from the Seibold spoon.

But much like the side’s withering 15 minute burst in the grand final, it was a flash in the pan as short-lived as the 2005 Wests Tigers and the ‘Chk Chk Boom’ girl.

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After standing on the cusp of glory less than 12 months ago, the Broncos have returned to a spiritless embarrassment that can’t even fire up for their own grudge match.

And with the club back to being weighed down by its own history but too distracted by its own reflection to do anything about it, it proves their grand final season to be the fluke of the century.

Sure, the Broncos have been punished with their fair share of injuries this season, but it’s the non-negotiables where there’s too much Gucci and not enough guts.

Despite a few bursts of brilliance, this team of flamingoes have defended like perforated paper too regularly and rolled over more often than the French Legion.

Payne Haas and Kevin Walters during training for the Brisbane Broncos. Picture: Tertius Pickard

And it’s no different at the top, with the Brisbane administration also losing touch so disgracefully it’s hiring acts like Jean Paul Gaultier for pre-match entertainment.

In a city where the only high fashion is Alfie Langer’s Powers drinking hat, it stinks of a club more obsessed with wearing bumbags instead of boiler suits, and if the bosses had any idea about recapturing the club’s mojo they should’ve trotted out Alf himself as a curtain-raiser to don his crown and shotgun a few cans to fire up the masses.

With everything to play for on Saturday night against a banged-up and battling Dolphins side, the Broncos delivered another 80 minutes wholly devoid of ticker and testosterone.

But it wasn’t just their finals chances that ended with the 40-6 thumping at the hands of their cross town rivals.

Coach Kevin Walters and Reece Walsh at Brisbane Broncos training, Red Hill. Picture: Liam Kidston

Kevin Walters is a favourite son of the Broncos and one of the game’s nicest blokes, but his all-heart style has lost its charm.

Hired purely on vibes and his existing car space, Walters’ coaching has been based largely on hard work, sloganism and cheesy Jedi mind tricks.

In fact, with his season under the pump approaching last Saturday’s must-win match, the best tactic he could conjure was constantly deadnaming the Dolphins “Redcliffe”.

Prior to this, he made a fallacious guarantee his side would qualify for the finals despite the pledge foolishly relying on results outside his control, and the Broncos.

With all due respect to the club legend, no coach has won anything with semantics - but in fairness, he’s made no secret of the fact his coaching is as nuanced as a house brick.

When it comes to scientific neurosis, Craig Bellamy and Neil deGrasse Tyson he certainly ain’t - and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But while amateur psychology and the classic “Queenslanders always find a way” schtick might’ve worked in the 90s when Walters was surrounded by indomitable studs, it’s only effective so long in a modern game beset with short attention spans and hypersensitive BS radars.

It’s inescapable that for all the nostalgic dopamine he’s imbued the club with, Walters has coached four seasons for the Henjak-esque record of only one finals campaign.

In fact, one of the only things he has consistently excelled at is keeping the Old Boys happy, which to be fair, is a chief responsibility of being Broncos coach as paramount as winning premierships.

And whatever transpires as the heat intensifies over his role, at least all his friends are still fighting the battle on his behalf, as seen in Gorden Tallis’ impassioned defence over the weekend.

Adam Reynolds has been copping it from Gorden Tallis.

Yep, you know you’ve got the backing of your former teammates in any situation when Tallis deflects the pressure off you on to Adam Reynolds merely because he replaced his son Billy Walters on Triple M.

“I put pressure on Adam Reynolds,” Tallis told Triple M’s Sunday Sin Bin.

“Kevvie came out and stood up for him (Reynolds).

“Now Kevvie has been under the pump and silence (from Reynolds) … crickets.

“It was just a test (of whether Reynolds had Walters’ back).

“Billy Walters said no to coming on this station and his captain (Reynolds) jumps straight in.

“If one of my players said no to come on to this (radio network), it’s one in, all in. That’s the problem.

But as admirable as this tenuous rearguard from Tallis was, such peer support won’t be enough to save Walters - especially if 2023 continues to grow in obscurity as some viral catchphrase oddity.

Time for the Broncos to make some big moves.

In fact, they can only save themselves now by throwing the cheque book at a young superstar talent like Sam Walker or Wayne Bennett.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.

Originally published as Grim Broncos truth exposed as coach’s message falls flat