Ten Australian places we love to hate

You know the feeling. A friend arrives from overseas, all excited about seeing Australia, and then you ask where they’re planning to visit. And it’s a terrible answer.

You’re going where? You’re doing what? Why?

We, as Australians, sometimes have a different idea of what’s worth doing in this great country to that of short-term visitors. And there are certain locations, certain attractions, that overseas tourists – and even interstate visitors – always seem to gravitate to, and yet we locals despise.

They aren’t that bad, really. But we love to hate them.

Surfers Paradise, QLD

Surfers Paradise is no paradise.Credit: iStock

You would have to step in if your friends announced they were planning to go to Surfers Paradise. It’s not what you think, you’d say. You should go south instead, to Burleigh, to Kirra, to Coolie. Surfers Paradise isn’t really a surfer’s paradise, unless that surfer loves mini-golf and souvenir T-shirt shops and the wax museum and getting into fights on Orchard Ave. Sure, the beach is really quite beautiful and the hotels are great, but you won’t catch many Australians raving about Surfers.

Darling Harbour, NSW

Darling Harbour makes no sense.Credit: Peter Rae

There’s a massive redevelopment going on at Darling Harbour at the moment, so maybe we will have to eat our words. Until that time, however, we will keep pouring scorn on a tourist attraction that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, particularly given its prime location. Why are the restaurants so bad? The bars so tacky? The tourist attractions so cheesy? Take a tip: head to nearby Darling Square for a much better time.

Federation Square, Victoria

Visitors to Federation Square need to look beyond, well, what it looks like.Credit: iStock

To call Fed Square divisive would be an understatement. I don’t even think this is a love-it-or-hate-it kind of place. It’s a hate it, or be able to see past the ugly design and understand that the art galleries and performance spaces and restaurants here are actually really good… kind of place. But that’s not always easy to convey, which is probably why most Australians tend to enjoy bagging Fed Square.

Bondi Beach, NSW

Bondi: Sydney has far better beaches than this.Credit: Dion Georgopoulos

There are generally three types of people. There are those who live in Bondi, or close by, and declare they love it. There are foreign tourists, who also love it. And then there’s everyone else. Bondi is a nightmare to get to, it’s a nightmare to find a park, it’s incredibly busy, overly expensive, and everyone there seems to be disturbingly, unfairly attractive. As they say, if you can’t beat ’em, spend your time pointing out to everyone who will listen that Australia – and even Sydney – has far better beaches.

Canberra, ACT

Canberra has outgrown the stereotypes, but we still love to hate it.Credit: iStock

For pretty much as long as it has existed, the ’Berra has been the butt of jokes in Australia. It’s cold, it’s boring, it’s just a long series of roundabouts sprinkled with boozy politicians. There’s nowhere to go at night. And so on. Many of those old stereotypes are completely outdated these days, and there’s plenty to recommend a trip to Canberra – including a good number of restaurants open past 8pm. Still, we love to hate it.

Rundle Mall, South Australia

Rundle Mall: baffling.Credit: iStock

Adelaide is great. I’ve got a lot of time for it. I think most tourists do too, with its beaches, its hills, its excellent food and drink scene, its markets, its wineries everywhere you look. Even the Adelaide Oval is great. About the only landmark that seems a little baffling to most of us is Rundle Mall, a strip of underwhelming shops in an underwhelming location, which nevertheless seems to turn up regularly on lists of things to do in the South Australian capital.

Byron Bay, NSW

Parking in Byron Bay can be as hard (and expensive) as in a major city.Credit: Destination NSW

This must be Australia’s premier “you should have been there 20 years ago” destination, the place you grudgingly tell your overseas friends they should visit, even though you have to warn them it ain’t the hippie paradise it used to be. Sure, Byron still doesn’t allow any nasty fast food chains to set up shop, but who are they kidding: capitalism and development are running rampant here, bong shops have long given way to juice bars, and even the parking fees give Bondi a run for its bags of money.

Any zoo

Do any Australians want to hug a koala?Credit: iStock

I had some Swedish friends come to Australia about 10 years ago, and they toured the whole country: both coasts, Uluru, Tassie, the whole lot. And the highlight of their entire journey? Cuddling a koala. Foreign tourists seem to really like getting up close and personal with our native wildlife, even if that wildlife is kept in a cage and forced into being handled for photos every now and then. I’m not sure there are many Australians left who are really that into it.

St Kilda Beach, Victoria

St Kilda Beach. Not something you’d recommend for a foreigner’s must-do list.Credit: Paul Jeffers

St Kilda has a lot of the issues that Bondi has (the hassles getting there, the expense, the fact everyone seems cooler than you), only without the pay-off of one of Australia’s most beautiful beaches. Instead you get St Kilda Beach. Though most Melburnians seem to either like St Kilda or at least be ambivalent towards it, the rest of the country is probably not going to recommend it to a foreign tourist.

Western Australia

It’s hard to find anything to dislike in WA except perhaps Perth’s CBD and the residents’ chip on their shoulders about the east.Credit: iStock

Dear West Australians: I’m kidding. We love Western Australia. There’s nothing to hate over there, save for maybe the Perth CBD, though I don’t think anyone would confuse that with a legitimate tourist attraction. About the only downside over in WA is the chip on some shoulders about the east of Australia – the belief that we really do dislike it. Or, even worse: not even think about it. Which this entry disproves, right?