I used to love flying. Then I had children

I used to love flying. Then I had children. There’s no beating around the bush: small children who require nappy changes and have complex sensory needs, who desperately require the bathroom when the plane is taxiing, are offered sugary drinks by well-meaning stewards while your back is turned, and have the attention span of a goldfish do not make great travelling companions.

When flying long haul with kids, accept that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.Credit: iStock

I recently found myself pondering my filial life choices on a 14-hour long-haul flight from Sydney to Doha. We hit bad turbulence midway through the flight, and most passengers aboard the A380 were now reaching for their sick bags. Unfortunately, this included me. Flying solo with two kids, I knew exactly what snacks they had consumed in the last 12 hours, mainly because I was covered in them.

When smoother skies eventually prevailed, both kids passed out from exhaustion. I had two choices: wake them and mop up, or sit there fermenting in gastrointestinal juices while they slept. The path of least resistance was clear: I chose soggy and wet.

My only comfort was that I wasn’t alone. The back of the A380 was filled with families in similar predicaments. There was a sense of quiet solidarity, even relief, that we were among our own kind – the kind that doesn’t hate kids on planes.

Credit: Jamie Brown

Sadly, the lack of a decent high-speed rail network and the geographic distance Australia is from 90 per cent of the rest of the world, means children flying long distances on planes is a bitter pill some childless passengers must swallow: and don’t they like to let us parents know about it.

Society loves to chastise parents who fly with small infants. You’ve probably seen those social media posts where parents meekly hand out apologetic notes, earplugs and treats to the people in the cabin around them, almost begging for tolerance. Some people might think it’s cute or considerate. I think it’s a sad reflection of how parts of society bullies parents into apologising for their children’s existence.

Instead of the rolled eyes, wouldn’t it be wonderful if random people on a flight instead decided to embrace an attitude of kindness and tolerance towards others while up in the air? They could even just mind their own business. Better still? Offer to help.

On my last flight, my angel in disguise was wearing a Qatar Airlines uniform. For hours, he ferried sick bags, fetched wipes, and eventually took pity on me, handing me business class PJs to change into.

It might seem unfathomable to some, but there is a quiet cohort of people who try to make things easier for their fellow passengers. While some argue about window shades and reclining seats, others help parents with bags or hold babies so the parent can finally use the bathroom.

Even offering a smile can make a difference. It’s not your responsibility to help, but it might make someone else’s flight easier – and strangely, being kind instead of a crank might also make your journey all the more bearable too.