What your child needs to know before they depart on a gap year

It’s close to a parent’s worst nightmare. We’re home in the evening when the phone rings. It’s our daughter on the line. She’s on the final leg of her gap year and has been working with an NGO in Kathmandu for the past month. I pick up the phone and on the other end is almost a full minute of sobbing. So deep, so heartfelt that she’s unable to draw breath and get out a single word. We’re beside ourselves.

Make sure your child gets a local SIM or eSIM so they can stay in touch.Credit: iStock

“What’s happened, what is it?”

Finally, between indrawn breaths, she blurts out, “I’m homesick!”

Relief all round. We make sympathetic noises while trying to keep the smile from shining in our voices.

“Go down to the nearest shop and buy a block of chocolate,” my wife says. “Then find a video shop and hire Bring It On [a 2000 US teen comedy starring Kirsten Dunst, and her fave flick of the moment]. Curl up in bed, eat the chocolate and watch the movie.”

About this time of year, with final exams drawing to a close, what’s next becomes uppermost in the minds of high-school graduates. For some, it’s a straight road to more study or a career they’re busting to pursue, but for others it’s a gap year, and for that cohort, overseas travel will be an essential component. The lure of “away” – from school, from tricky decisions about the future, from parents – is irresistible. It’s a spreading of the wings. But you may just find they turn to you for advice. And if they do, having been through the gap year process, this is what I’d tell them.

Travel insurance

If they haven’t got travel insurance, they shouldn’t be travelling overseas. It’s that simple. If they aren’t inclined to buy their own, put your hand in your pocket and buy it for them; it’s a lot cheaper than what you might be up for should things go pear-shaped a long way from home.

Money

Kids can be clueless when it comes to how much their travels will cost. A passport alone is $398, and they haven’t even left the country. They might not tell you the size of their cash stash, but a discreet inquiry won’t hurt. How much they need will depend on where and when they go. Europe in high season is expensive. A bed in a shared dorm in a hostel costs $16 to $75 a night. If it’s London or Amsterdam, expect to pay near the top end of that scale; if it’s Bucharest in November, it’ll be towards the bottom.

For meals, allow $30 to $60 a day, minimum. Then there are transport and everyday expenses. A budget of $500 a week is just about OK for a summer in Europe, but that’s frugal living. In Asia, money goes a lot further, but still plan a minimum of $350 a week. A debit card with low fees that allows them to make withdrawals at ATMs such as Wise or Revolut is the go. Forget about credit cards.

When to go

This is basic information, but even people who should know better visit places when the weather is either too hot, too cold or they’re packed with tourists. Weatherspark tells you whether you need to pack extra sunblock or rain gear. Go to Greece in August or anywhere around the Mediterranean over summer, and you’ll barely have room to lay down a beach towel. That’s great for socialising and parties, but accommodation might be hard to book at short notice, so it doesn’t work so well for those who want to keep things flexible and move on when and where the spirit draws them – standard operating procedure for most “gappers”.

Is it a holiday or something more?

For some, the trip is going to be unscripted. It’s all about seeing bits of the world they noticed on Emily in Paris or in Instagram stories, having adventures, meeting interesting people with funny accents and taking their taste buds out for a fandango. They’ll let their hair down, party, probably get hammered and come back with some great stories, some of which you will never hear (for your own protection).

It works better if there’s a sense of purpose to the travels: a language course, a hike in the mountains, a pilgrimage trail, a long bike ride, maybe even some work pet-sitting, an au pair job or helping out on an organic farm through WWOOF international to stretch out the funds and learn something useful.

Finding their feet

Starting off with a guided tour might sound naff, but it’s a way to get your child on their feet. It’s a confidence boost. They’ll gain an overview of places they might like to revisit and explore in depth, meet like-minded travellers, pick up some tips and develop skills that will serve them well if they go solo. Above all, they’ll learn that the world is not a frightening place.

Communication

Buy them a SIM card or an eSIM that will give them data overseas, download WhatsApp – then you can call one another. A multi-country data SIM is a small investment that buys you peace of mind.

Foreign friends and relations

Got friends or relations overseas? Even if you’ve been out of touch, tap them; they might extend an invitation for your offspring to visit. It will be a relief for you to know they’ll be taken care of, for a few days at least, they’ll be fed and welcomed, and they’ll receive it with grace and gratitude.