A wretched-looking child begged me for money. Here’s why I refused

This is not a happy story, but it ends with hope.

The kid tugging at my sleeve looks wretched. She’s about five years old, skinny, grubby face, dressed in a dirty grey skirt and a stained singlet. She’s asking for money, rattling a plastic cup with a couple of coins in it, but I’m not contributing.

Giving money to child beggars in the developing world perpetuates a cruel system.Credit: Alamy

I’d love for her to be well-fed, washed, wearing clean clothes and going to school, but giving her money will not make one bit of difference to what she eats, where she sleeps or what she wears. Looking undernourished, ragged and dirty is the name of this particular game, it’s what makes her a valuable asset to someone further up the food chain.

A smiling, clean and well-dressed child is not what’s needed. It’s the monetisation of misery. Most of what she gets will end up in the pocket of her handler. She’ll be given enough to keep her alive but that’s all. Give her money, and I’m perpetuating a cruel system that exploits the young and the helpless, and females in particular.

What do you do about these kids? How can you see this happening without being torn apart? I walk past, brush the hands away, avoid eye contact but I can’t ignore them. They leave a psychic scar, and if you know anything about their lives, you have a pretty good idea what the future holds for them.

Ending this cruel practice can only be done with political will and a steadfast police force, and neither of these are even remotely possible. One thing I can do is to ignore the pleas, keep my hand in my pocket, and stop the flow of cash that is the engine driving this wretched industry.

If the kids are selling something besides their own wretchedness, I’m figuring there’s hope.

There’s another kind of developing-world begging among children that’s more annoying than a symptom of real deprivation. It happens mostly in rural villages, where children might besiege you with the demand, “Give me pen, give me bonbons (sweets).”

A pen might sound innocuous, an educational aid even, but I’m not buying it. It’s only ever a foreigner who gets asked for this, never a local. If I were to carry a stack of pens around for distribution, it teaches those kids that foreigners are a source of largesse, making life more stressful for any foreign traveller who comes after me.

As for their education, if they’re going to school, they have whatever they need, and a pen is going to make no difference to the outcome. As for sweets, hauling around Caramello Koalas to hand out is never a great idea.

Another category: the children who want to sell you an embroidered bookmark, a fridge magnet, a beaded wristband or something else you would never want, but I’m up for that. Judiciously, perhaps just before I get on the bus, enter the museum or my hotel because I don’t want to be mobbed, I’ll buy. If the kids are selling something besides their own wretchedness, I’m figuring there’s hope. Who knows, if they’re good at it, and they last in the game, they might graduate to selling something useful, a win-win for all of us.

What really changes lives

In no particular order: education; food prepared and eaten in hygienic surroundings; a clean, safe place to live with family and be taken care of. As a casual visitor, these are not things you can easily engineer but if you want to make a difference, there are charities that do it for you.

Pollinate is a social enterprise that began by handing out cheap, solar-powered lights to female slum dwellers in Kolkata. Even something as simple as a light can be a game-changer, replacing kerosene lamps that pollute and cause breathing problems in the close confines of a slum dwelling and allowing children to do their schoolwork at night. In the decade since it was founded, Pollinate has expanded to empower marginalised women with capital and information to become entrepreneurs, lifting whole families out of poverty.

World Vision is a Christian charity that provides support to vulnerable children, with nutrition, healthcare and education. There are hundreds of such agencies, but beware of sad stories. They come not only from the street but also from some unscrupulous charities that are nothing more than scams. Give Well and Charity Watch are two websites that can help you find deserving causes.

The writer has supported children through World Vision for more than 20 years.