Everything is over-the-top at this hotel. No wonder Elton John loved it
I’ve never given any thought to Elton John’s taste in hotels until, on the desk in my guestroom, I see a framed black-and-white photo of him, smiling wryly and wearing sunglasses, with “To La Residence with love Elton John” scribbled in one corner.
After inquiries at reception, I discover Elton John stayed here once. Not just here, at La Residence outside Franschhoek in the wine lands just beyond Cape Town. But here, in my guestroom, which is called the Maharani suite.
La Residence is outside Franschhoek in the wine lands just beyond Cape Town.
And so for a couple of days, I shadow Elton John around. He’d have liked the room key, attached to an orange mini-featherduster. And the two chairs that sit like thrones – one with gold upholstery, one red, both laden with gilt – that flank an occasional table.
La Residence, South Africa, can be as over-the-top as one of its most famous guests.
Yes, Elton would have sat on one of those, admiring the chandeliers and perhaps the peacocks on the lawn below.
Because, of course, La Residence has peacocks. They strut atop walls and occasionally shriek like banshees, making unwary guests leap.
I’m sure Elton John never stays in hotels that don’t keep wonderful beasts. At La Residence, impalas nibble the lawns. I imagine they were first introduced at his special request.
A riot of colour.
You can do things like that when you’re a billionaire celebrity, I think to myself. I want impalas! A plum orchard! A grand piano in the lounge, so I can tinkle Rocket Man as the sun sets and cocktails are served!
The grand piano is lacquered red because why be predictable? La Residence is all colour and voluptuous extravagance, heightened because it sits amid the tightly pegged vineyards and rocky hills outside prim country town Franschhoek.
Capetonians come here for sedate things such as wine-tastings, fine-dining and browsing African art in chic boutiques. Gorgeous mountain landscapes are captured from every cellar door and wine bar.
Fit for a king… of pop.
Almost every building in Franschhoek is whitewashed, but once you turn through the gates of La Residence, the only thing white are the roses that line the driveway. Public areas explode in vast vases of flowers, fat orange sofas, red armchairs and kaleidoscopic Turkish carpets.
Beyond is an emerald lawn and sapphire infinity pool surrounded by yellow parasols under huge palms trees. It looks as dramatic as a movie set.
The pool area … “as dramatic as a movie set”.
Now that I have thought about Elton John’s hotel choices, it seems obvious he’d stay here. And naturally, he picked the Maharani suite, which is a theatrical madness of confused orientalism.
It has lamps shaped like Japanese cranes, Chinese side-tables, Buddhas sitting about smiling and yes, two Indian paintings, one of which might be a maharani. The other is a tiger.
The bed, on a raised platform reached by shallow steps, makes me feel like Louis XIV. The bathroom is extraordinary, with a mid-room hip bath, sofa and ornate rugs.
I like quirky, over-the-top hotels. I have ordinariness at home. A stay in La Residence is like stepping into someone else’s life, or indulging my own alter ego.
Suppose I’d been a pop star ... I wouldn’t dine like your average person. I’d have my own chef and, in South Africa, where fine-dining is half the cost it is in Australia, I can experience that too.
I book the chef’s table experience, and Emile Myburgh lets me watch him cook, chats and serves up the kind of meal I expect in Franschhoek, gourmet capital of South Africa.
Smoked duck. Rock lobster in Cape Malay curry sauce. Wagyu beef, and yes, shave me more truffle! I want plum melba! And of course, bring on the peacocks.
THE DETAILS
FLY
Qantas flies from Sydney to Johannesburg with onward connections on South African Airways to Cape Town. See qantas.com
STAY
La Residence has a variety of suites and a private villa, as well as a restaurant and spa treatment room. Staff can organise various experiences in Franschhoek. Suites from ZAR 20,600 ($1763) for two including breakfast, laundry and house wines. See theroyalportfolio.com
The writer travelled as a guest of Regent Seven Seas Cruises and La Residence.
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