The good, bad and stinky of the Paris Games

The Olympics are over and I’m asking the same questions as I always do after covering a major sporting event: What just happened? How much did this cost me? Is it really over?

Here’s an obligatory end-of-Olympics-look-back-at-stuff piece …

THE GOOD

Unlike many, I enjoyed the opening ceremony, mostly because I watched it on TV and not in a plastic poncho while getting drenched with rain sitting in Seine-side seats that cost €2700. I’m also not overly offended by the sight of a few drag queens sitting at a long table or dancing on it.

Building temporary venues throughout the city and beyond, making Paris the backdrop, was a stunning success, even if it was punishing getting to them on public transport. The Grand Palais, which hosted fencing and taekwondo, was the prettiest.

Australia usually punches above its weight in sporting matters, but even the most optimistic supporter couldn’t have envisioned our best performance in history. We were in third spot with 18 gold medals … right until the last day when Japan nudged ahead of us.

Still, we finished ahead of host nation France and Great Britain.

THE BAD

I’ll never forget the appalling scenes in the media mixed zone after Algerian boxer Imane Khelif won her second bout as the gender eligibility controversy involving herself and Taiwan’s Lin Yu-ting took hold.

Reporters were yelling at Khelif; her people were yelling back at them. Terrible stuff.

I have doubts about whether Khelif and Lin should’ve been allowed to fight, but the sight of her rushing past reporters in tears was haunting.

The last thing an issue this sensitive needed was a shambolic and vindicative boxing association and a fence-sitting IOC that should have seen this firestorm coming.

The IOC can sugar-coat it all it wants, but the preference for a sustainable Olympics ahead of athlete comfort and performance was a mistake.

Substandard food, hot accommodation and bonk-proof beds … Athletes are the most important stakeholder – it’s why we’re all here! And, for the love of god, France, turn on your air-conditioners. I’m done with the schvitzing.

THE STINKY

Convicted child rapist Steven van de Velde of the Netherlands.Credit: AP

Three-time Olympic equestrian champion Charlotte Dujardi was banned on the eve of the Games after video emerged in July of her whipping a horse 24 times. Which is entirely what needed to happen.

If Dujardi wasn’t here, though, why was the Netherlands’ convicted child rapist Steven van de Velde, who was sentenced to four years in prison in 2016 after admitting to three counts of rape against a 12-year-old British girl?

He was booed at every match he played until Brazil beat them in the round of 16.

Other things that have stunk in the last three weeks: the dirty Seine that looked like it could kill a brown dog and did its best to do the same to a few triathletes and endurance swimmers; the poor, sweaty soul in those bright red Phryge mascot uniforms; €30 for two Coke Zeros and two quiches for myself and colleague Rob Harris at the equestrian.

THE SISTERS

Jess Fox joins her sister Noemie celebrating a gold medal win in the kayak cross.Credit: AP

Don’t you love that two of the most recognisable faces in Australian sport right now are Penrith sisters Jess and Noemie Fox, who both won gold (well, Jess won two) in whitewater?

Their mother, Myriam Fox-Jerusalmi, raced for France and won a K1 bronze medal in the Atlanta Games in 1996, so to do it in Paris and do it together was storybook stuff.

THE EMOTIONAL

Victor Wembanyama of team France.Credit: Getty Images

At last count, I was up to 235 cries on this trip – and most of them were over the hotel laundry bill.

Whether it was Andy Murray slipping into retirement, or IOC Refugee team boxer Cindy Ngamba fighting for a medal, or French judo legend Teddy Riner winning his third gold, or Simone Biles’ comeback of all comebacks in gymnastics, or Australian BMX star Saya Sakakibara breaking through for her first gold, or Julien Alfred winning the women’s 100m to claim St Lucia’s first medal, or 50m swimmer Cam McEvoy finally winning gold, there were plenty of times when I found the bottom lip quivering.

The best tears belonged to French basketballer Victor Wembanyama, who lost it after his side’s loss to Team USA in the men’s final.

“I’m learning, and I’m worried for the opponents in a couple of years,” he said afterwards.

In FIBA or the NBA?

“Everywhere,” he replied.

THE FRENCH

For a country that is apparently torn between far-left and far-right ideologies, the support for France at every venue was impossible to ignore.

Wherever you went, whether it was Stade de France for the rugby or La Defense Arena for the swimming where new hero Leon Marchand emerged, it was pulsating with French supporters.

THE NAUGHTY

Tom Craig (right) after his release from police custody in Paris.Credit: Eddie Jim

If you were framing a market about which Australian sport would produce the athlete busted for buying cocaine on the street, how many would’ve said field hockey?

Turns out those hockey players are a crazy breed.

Kookaburras star Tom Craig spent a night and day in a police holding cell only to be released with a warning but without charge.

I can tell you he was advised to slip out the backdoor and avoid the media pack outside the police station where he was being held, but wisely fronted and apologised for letting everyone down.

He did something dumb overseas. Who hasn’t?

THE WEIRD

A river cruise party for Australian medallists thrown by Australia’s richest woman, Gina Rinehart, was quite the sight.

She wore a glittering full-length cape, while the athletes donned gold boots from her footwear company Rossi.

Meanwhile, I’m still processing the performance of, then reaction to, Australian breakdancer Rachael Gunn.

Performing under her b-girl tile of “Raygun”, her effort was part rock eisteddfod, part drunken interpretative dance, and it divided people into two camps: those who loved that she had a go, and those who think that’s not enough because the Olympics are about excellence or some such gibber.

Eric the Eel? Remember him?

Breaking won’t be in Los Angeles in 2028, but Snoop Dogg will.

The American rapper was the unlikely face of these Olympics, popping up everywhere, mostly supporting Team USA.

Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg attend the equestrian at the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.Credit: AP

He carried the torch, had his own pin blowing Olympic rings and had a different tracksuit or outfit for every venue.

US host broadcaster NBC reportedly paid him $US500,000 a day as part of its strategy to use big-time celebrities in its coverage.

It worked: its huge swell in ratings in comparison to Tokyo surprised even its own execs.

Snoop’s last word on NBC was about the show his hometown will put on in four years.

Snoop Dog was the unlikely hero of the Games.Credit: Getty Images

“It will be like this,” he said, “but super-sized.”

Is that not the most American thing ever?

THE LESSONS FOR BRISBANE

The Olympics are like your dog. You take it for granted until it’s sitting in your lap, drooling all over you, and you can’t help but pat it and love it and give it all your attention.

Something like that.

The Brisbane Games are supposedly “on the nose” with Queenslanders, mostly because of the cost and arguments about building a new Olympic stadium.

Some are worried Suncorp Stadium will lack atmosphere because its capacity is only 50,000, and a rebuild of QEII Stadium for the athletics also won’t seat enough people.

Venues don’t make an Olympics as much as their functionality and transport around them.

Hours were burned during your time in Paris trying to find the right train, the right bus and the right entrance. Officials and volunteers often seemed in the dark themselves.

Celebrations after Brisbane was announced the host of the 2032 Olympics in July 2021.Credit: Getty

Enormous lines for food, drink, toilets or just to get in were noticeable at most venues.

THE MOMENT

There were so many: Ariarne Titmus’ win over Katie Ledecky in the 400m freestyle; Noah Lyles winning the closest men’s 100m sprint in history; Cole Hocker’s upset in men’s 1500m; French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati bowing out after his penis got in the way.

The Olympic cauldron and its balloon, suspended above the Paris sky.Credit: AP

But the one that will stand out will be a taxi home late one night – I can’t remember which, it’s all a blur – and popping up near the Louvre, which the Olympic flame called home for the past 17 days.

I asked the driver to stop so I could walk around and soak it up.

As we all stood around and marvelled at a flame that was actually mist illuminated by LED lights in a hot-air balloon, we were happy. The world was a beautiful place. It was alright for a change.

Then I cried … someone really needs to go home and see their dog.

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