‘Do I even know how to play rugby?’ Battling Wallabies star ready to miss Lions tour

Professional rugby players are highly skilled at visualisation. They can envision a small gap in a crowded defence three phases before it opens.

Taniela Tupou’s repeated gaze into the future isn’t pleasant. It’s one where he receives a phone call to tell him that he has not made the Wallabies squad to play the British and Irish Lions.

“My focus now is just trying to play well for the Waratahs because at the moment I’m not performing, and it was a goal of mine to play against the Lions. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’m no chance of making that team, because of how I’ve been performing this year,” Tupou said.

“I’m at peace with it, I know it’s going to hurt, but l told myself, ‘you’re just not performing, and it’s just not good enough to be picked for the Lions [series]’. So I picture in my head, getting a call saying I’m not in the team, and I’m just accepting the fact that I’m not getting picked.

“Obviously, it’s hard. Since I’ve been at the Wallabies, the only reason [I haven’t been selected in the past] is because of injuries, and to get dropped for Lions would be tough. But at least I know the reason, you know?”

Tupou is often the last player to leave Waratahs training, staying behind to do extra work in analysis to unearth the answer to his drop in form. So far, there is no eureka moment. The Wallabies prop has dropped nearly 10kg this season thanks to a dedicated program with Waratahs assistant coach Tom Carter and speaks glowingly of the support and care he has received from head coach Dan McKellar.

Waratahs prop Taniela Tupou.

At the start of the season, Tupou arrived in Sydney on a $1 million-a-year contract from Melbourne after the Rebels folded, unsure of what to make of a city he associated with stress and traffic jams. But he and his young family love their new lifestyle and the friends they have made. Everything in Tupou’s life is working perfectly, apart from his day job.

“I really think it’s mental, because the performance is not there and I start to second-guess myself, and start asking questions. ‘Can I do this? Is this for me?’ Or, ‘am I good?’ You start playing in your head,” Tupou said.

“Now I’m going into games thinking, ‘oh, I have to do this, I have to do that’. I have this list in my head, then I go into the game and I’m not able to take any of the opportunities, and it upsets me.

“I remember at my best, I was just a kid having fun. There was no pressure.

“I was just out there doing my thing, and I think I’m just putting a lot of pressure on myself at the moment. And I go into some games thinking, ‘oh, there’s no pressure’ and ‘I’m just going to get there and enjoy it’, but then I’m just lying to myself.”

What specifically does he think is going wrong with his game?

“I don’t know what it is, after round one, I was like, maybe I’m slowly getting into it. Then round two, round three, round four, round five, and I’m like, OK, there’s something that’s not right here, and sometimes, I go out there, and I finish the game, and I’m like, ‘f--- me, do I know how to play rugby any more, or what?’

“It feels like I just don’t know what I’m doing, you know? I’m nervous to do things I used to do well, I used to just be running the ball, and just offloading, and just able to do things.

“But I’m nervous to throw a pass. I don’t know what it is, but I hope I can find a solution, because I want to play well for the Tahs, and I want to hopefully get back in the Wallabies one day.”

Taniela Tupou is coming off contract in 2025, but is desperate to stayCredit: Getty Images

Since he left Tonga alone to start high school at Sacred Heart College in Auckland, unable to speak English, Tupou quickly learned to deal with difficulties on his own. In his first year at school, he struggled to make friends due to the language barrier and would sometimes skip lessons to sit in the toilets to reset and recover.

Eventually, he not only survived in New Zealand, but thrived. He understands the support network available to him, but still finds it hard to reach out for help, even to his Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt who he values highly.

“Joe’s been good to me. I’d seen him before one of our [Waratahs] games and we had a good chat, and he was amazing, and he said, ‘you look good, you dropped like a lot of weight’ and he’s big on that, he wanted me to lose a lot of weight,” Tupou said.

“The other day, I wanted to reach out to him [for] some help, but I didn’t want to because, obviously, he’s getting closer at the end of the season, and it’s getting closer for him to pick his team for the Lions, and I didn’t want to ... I don’t know, I was like, I’ll leave him alone, I’ll just get some help somewhere.”

Taniela Tupou has struggled for form with the WallabiesCredit: Getty Images

Tupou is in the last year of his contract with Rugby Australia and wants to stay. Last year, there was an offer from Irish giants Leinster, and this year there is still interest from clubs in Ireland and in France. The prop desperately wants to play in the 2027 World Cup, but understands that to stay in Australia, he needs to regain some form fast.

“I have to perform well for the teams to want me, and I’m hoping I’ll end up staying in Australia,” he said.

Has Rugby Australia tabled him an offer to stay?

Taniela Tupou with his son Nela.Credit: Brendan Hertel/RugbyAU Media.

“I’m not sure, they’re talking [with my manager], so hopefully there’s some good news,” he said. “But look, again, I’m at peace with it too.”

Throughout the interview, Tupou barely smiles as he talks about the challenges of coming to terms with his form, but that changes when he is asked about what playing for the Wallabies means to him.

Tupou arrived in Australia after school, motivated by reuniting with his brother Criff who was working in Brisbane. Tupou not only realised his dreams in rugby, he also built a family and hopes to settle in the city when his playing days are over. Representing the Wallabies isn’t simply about performing on the rugby field, for Tupou it is a means of giving back to a country he now calls home.

“It means so much to play for the Wallabies,” he said. “This is the country that gave me so much. They gave me opportunities, me and my family.

“And it’s funny, it sort of hits you when you first get into the team, you’re like, ‘oh, this is cool, I enjoy this, I love this’. And then you do it, like, a few years, you’re thinking this is normal.

“But now, I’m starting to think, one of these tours, one of these camps, it could be my last. I started thinking like that a year or two ago, and every time I get a chance to play with the Wallabies, I really, enjoy it, because I’m getting old .... so it means a lot to me to play.”

Tupou wants to rediscover the joy for rugby he once had as a young boy running carefree in Tonga. There is no better place to start than this Friday evening against his former club the Reds, where he will face some of his closest friends in a must-win game for the Waratahs.

“It’s a big one. When I was at the Reds, I used to hate the Tahs and wanted to beat them, but now I’m on the other side, I want to beat the Reds,” Tupou said.

“Look, a lot of those guys are my best mates, I love them. And when we cross that line, I really want to do well, I want our team to do well, and I want to do well too for the team. So fingers crossed, everybody performs and smashes Queensland.”

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