My sport is having a Matildas moment. I know because of the trolling

Women’s rugby league is having a Matildas moment. I’m proud to be part of it, proud to be Indigenous, proud of all the hard work that is finally paying off not just for me but for my fellow players. The only downside? With the increased exposure comes additional trolling.

Growing up, I guess I could be described as a bigger girl – although I hate that description. Recently, however, it’s a term I’ve heard way too often as some people talk less about the game and more about the people playing it. Even on the eve of the historic Women’s State of Origin opener in Brisbane two weeks ago, social media trolls felt the need to comment on my appearance and question my athletic ability.

Caitlan Johnston versus the anonymous trolls. Credit: Nrl.com.au/Marija Ercegovac

I grew up in Belmont, Newcastle, surrounded by family. I was one of six. Our family is close, and they often cheer me on from the sidelines. We are all very different – we all have big personalities and come in different shapes and sizes. To be honest, my body shape was never really discussed growing up – I was taught that you judge people by their personality, rather than their appearance. What you looked like, what size you wore, just wasn’t a thing.

So it came as a shock that in the midst of Origin camp, as a member of the NSW Sky Blues in peak fitness, trolls felt the need to discuss my body shape and if I was equipped to play. How could a woman of my size be able to play sport at the top of her game?

I started playing rugby league at the age of 10. In the schoolyard, I would often play at lunchtime against the boys, and it was soon after that I started to play competitively in club footy. Rugby league is in my DNA – I have grown up following the NRL closely and as a family, it has always brought us together. So it felt good to excel at a sport that was important to my family.

When I reached the age of 12, there were limited pathways for women to play, so I spent a number of years playing OzTag and also competed in Koori Knockout competitions. It wasn’t until the age of 17 that the game opened up for women and I started to play rugby league more competitively.

Johnston is tackled during the Women’s State of Origin match in 2022.Credit: Gettu

When it comes to body shape, I am strong and perhaps on the bigger side of what is considered “normal”, but it has never stood in the way when I play rugby league. In fact, it actually serves me well. I play in the front row, in the position of prop. That sees me running the ball directly into the defensive line to gain metres for my team. I am also relied upon in defence to stop the opposition moving forward. My size plays a critical role in my on-field position.

The comments came to my attention as we prepared to take on Queensland in the first ever three-game women’s Origin series. It was an incredible moment in history, putting us on par with the men. We saw record-breaking crowds at the game and viewers on the broadcast. It was women’s rugby’s Matildas moment, and while I was riding high I can’t pretend that the negative comments didn’t tarnish that moment.

Comments from the sideline are not unique to me, but I found myself uniquely placed to speak out against them. My body carries me well, it takes the hits, the tackles and the knocks, and in game one it was this same body that carried me over the line to score a try. The body that was labelled as overweight in fact proved to be fierce and strong, a total asset to my team and my state.

So for those who might not think my body represents that of a typical athlete, I ask you to buy a ticket or tune in to watch us as we take on Queensland again tonight in a game that could decide the series. Watch just what we put our bodies through to gain metres, to affect tackles and to score tries. Then you might see that these bodies – in all their different shapes and sizes – serve us extraordinarily well, and deserve to be celebrated rather than judged.

These bodies – in all their different shapes and sizes – serve us extraordinarily well.

I am beyond grateful for rugby league and for how this dream is coming true for the women who play it. It’s a privilege to play at an elite level and I know I owe a debt of gratitude to the women who’ve played before me as to where the game is at today.

I want to leave my own mark on the game, and if speaking out against online bullying is how I leave that mark, I will be proud to have made a difference.

Up the Blues! Down with the bullies.

You can watch Caitlan Johnson in action in the Women’s State of Origin exclusively live and free on Channel 9 & 9Now