Benji Marshall puts his family ahead of football. Why are we attacking him?

When legendary NFL coach Bill Walsh oversaw the San Francisco 49ers in the 1980s, his wife Geri would drag him to the movie theatre so he could briefly escape his obsessive pursuit of perfection.

As they sat in the darkness, Walsh would throw his arm over the shoulder of his college sweetheart, but his mind would eventually drift back to the training field.

He’d start drawing imaginary noughts and crosses on his wife’s back, working through plays and formations, before Geri would eventually slap his hand away, telling him to stop it.

In 2001, Chris Anderson was coaching the Kangaroos against Great Britain at Wigan’s JJB Stadium when he started feeling pains in his chest. “Just get to half-time,” he said to himself.

This was the third and deciding match of a hard-fought series against the old enemy. His heart attack would have to wait.

As Anderson was being carried out of the dressing-room on a stretcher at half-time in front of his bewildered players, he grabbed one of the assistant coaches by the arm.

Wests Tigers coach Benji Marshall (second from left) on the bench in Tamworth.Credit: Getty

Prop Jason Stevens had attempted a kick in general play in the first half. Stevens played for Cronulla, who Anderson would be coaching next season.

“Tell him if he does that at Cronulla next season, I’ll cut his f…ing legs off,” he barked.

I thought of these two anecdotes this week as rookie Wests Tigers coach Benji Marshall was bludgeoned for taking a short trip to Fiji with his family.

The Tigers have the bye and, under the collective bargaining agreement, players must have four days off.

Marshall and his coaching staff have also taken a short break to freshen up after a tough start to the year and questions have been raised about his priorities and professionalism.

This from James Graham on Triple M: “The optics of it, I don’t think it’s the right thing to do … This is professional sport, you’re the head coach, you need to be there, your presence is felt by the whole organisation.”

And this from Gorden Tallis on Fox Sports: “Do you think Craig Bellamy — he’s a 20-to-30-year coach — do you think he goes away to Fiji? Do you think Wayne Bennett does?”

The mental image of Bennett kicking back by the Castaway Island pool in his Dolphins Budgie Smugglers sipping a mocktail is one you don’t want to conjure in a hurry, but he understood the importance of spending time with his family when he could.

Benji Marshall with his son, Fox, and Wayne Bennett during their time at South Sydney in 2021.Credit: Getty

When Marshall asked him for some coaching advice last year, Bennett told him it was important to take his children to school at least once a week. He’s said this to several young coaches over the decades.

It’s common for coaches to take time out with their families during a bye, no matter how many years they’ve been coaching or where their side sits on the ladder. Bennett and Bellamy have done it many times.

When Marshall said at the start of the year his family comes before footy, some thought it was a terrible look.

I found it refreshing. What’s more important: your football family or your actual family? It shouldn’t be a question.

By their very nature, coaches are obsessive workaholics who fuss over every detail of the operation. They lay awake at 3am, staring at the ceiling, running plays or line-ups through the heads.

The job requires that level of commitment, but it shouldn’t come at any cost, especially your family.

The NRL has come a long way in the past decade with its approach to mental health. The good clubs latched onto it early, appointing wellbeing managers, and the positive influence on young players has been immeasurable.

But rugby league remains the Hunger Games for head coaches, who are supposed to be impervious to pressure, scrutiny and endless hate.

Marshall is 13 rounds into his first season as head coach, at a club that’s perpetually in a rebuild with a roster that’s hopelessly out of whack, although one that improves next year with the arrival of some important signings headed by NSW Origin five-eighth Jarome Luai from Penrith.

Cowboys players observe a minute of silence in memory of former coach Paul Green in 2022 after he took his own life.Credit: Getty

Yet questions are already being raised about his ability at this level after just three months.

The death of Paul Green, the former North Queensland and Queensland coach who took his own life in August 2022, was a sobering moment for all of us.

In the weeks after his death at the age of 49, the game vowed to change the way it treats coaches. We were going to look out for them and each other. The warm and fuzzy talk was forgotten within weeks.

I’m guilty of it as much as anyone, although I’m trying to be better. A coach under pressure is an easy story to write.

I had a heated argument with Green at the Caxton Hotel after the first State of Origin in 2019 because of remarks made on Channel Nine about him starting to lose the support of players at the Cowboys.

The story was right and he and the club parted ways midway through the following season. We patched things up and had a reasonable professional relationship thereafter, but I think about that argument at the Caxton often.

Green might have been a head coach, but he was also a human being. So is Marshall, who deserves admiration, not admonishment, for putting his family first.

HAMMERING A DUD POINT

Former Rugby Australia chairman Hamish McLennan has cluelessly claimed Joseph Suaalii was handed his NSW Origin jumper to ensure he returns to the NRL when his rugby deal ends in 2027.

No surprise there.

“He’s such a world-class talent and the NRL are taking the moral high ground by picking the best players for the NSW team,” he told News Corp. “By not being punitive, they are putting themselves in a great position to get him back.”

Then ‘Hammer’ gave a little whacky-whack to the Queensland Rugby Union, which helped bring the big fella down late last year. “The dingbats at the Queensland Rugby Union will be watching Joseph through gritted teeth when he plays,” he said.

There was never any thought, from neither the NSWRL, coach Michael Maguire, nor the NRL for that matter, about not picking the rugby-bound Suaalii.

Hamish McLennan with Eddie Jones and Andy Marinos after Jones’ appointment in January 2023. Credit: Getty

He’s already indicated to Roosters boss Nick Politis that he would be returning to the NRL once his three years in rugby ends, presumably with a World Cup appearance for the Wallabies. Doesn’t that say everything about the parlous state of Australian rugby? That its prized signing is already thinking about his return to the rival code once he’s banked the $5 million over three years from RA?

Along with the Eddie Jones disaster, this madness happened on McLennan’s watch.

THE QUOTE
“I’m not a liar, I didn’t touch it. But I was trying to claim it. I’m a liar to win a game, but once it’s over, I’ll be honest.” — Collingwood defender Isaac Quaynor explains how he successfully conned the umpires into thinking he got a finger to a kick from Fremantle’s Bailey Banfield. In the immortal words of George Louis Costanza, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

THUMBS UP
I’m not one for these Twenty20 shenanigans, especially the Indian Premier League, but Mitchell Starc’s performance for the Kolkata Knights Riders in the final — including a “dream ball” that turned in-form Sunrisers Hyderabad opener Abhishek Sharma inside out — was marvellous. Really super stuff.

THUMBS DOWN
Time stands for no man, woman, child or tennis icon, and so it is with Rafael Nadal, who lost his first-round match at the French Open to Alexander Zverev — the first time such a thing has happened. At 37, the Spaniard’s incredible career is finally coming to an end.

It’s a big weekend for … the Melbourne Rebels, who found out before getting on a plane to Fiji on Thursday that the franchise was being wound up. What a bizarre situation for the players, representing a team that ceases to exist when they lose. They play the Drua on Saturday, then have the finals.

It’s an even bigger weekend for … the Matildas, as they play the first of two friendlies against China in a pre-Olympics tune-up. First match at Adelaide Oval on Friday night, then Accor Stadium on Monday evening. The matches will give fringe players in Tony Gustavsson’s squad a chance to impress before heading to Paris.

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