Latrell is no longer worth the money – and that’s the bottom line

Latrell Mitchell? Great player, truly one of the best, when he is on his game. Not only that, but he has been a wonderful advocate on matters Indigenous, particularly. But …

But here’s the thing, when it comes to this month’s Latrell imbroglio, which is all to do with being photographed with white powder of indeterminate origin, fined $20k and suspended one match by the NRL, fined $100k ($80k suspended) by his club and all the rest.

The problem is that it really is just THIS MONTH’S imbroglio. For every time you look up, there is a new suspension, or injury, or scandal, or break, or something that prevents him playing for an extended period of time. This year, he will have played for Souths just . . . 11 times. In four years with the Roosters from 2016, he played 24, 23, 24 and 25 times. With the Rabbitohs since, he has played 14, 17, 17, 16 and now 11 times.

He is, I repeat, a special player capable of doing things on the field others can’t conceive let alone execute, and in his one State of Origin match this year he truly demonstrated his absolute class. But the bottom line remains. In terms of value for money for Souths he is simply not worth his lofty salary in a team that was flirting with the wooden spoon.

Whoever takes on Latrell Mitchell next – for I can’t believe that one way or another he will endure at Souths – should put him on a contract where the big money only flows with his presence and performance, not the signature alone.

All part of God’s plan

I try. I really try. With every fibre of my being I have tried to leave the whole Israel Folau thing alone, as we are all just so exhausted by it. And I have mostly been successful. Something like 425 days sober!

Alas, this week has broken me, I can no more, and just this once – I promise – am back on the sauce.

“When I put up the post,” the former Wallaby told the Ebbs and Flows podcast of the saga of twice putting up Instagram twaddle of how all gays would burn in hell, “I never thought that I’d get terminated for it. It just never crossed my mind.”

Seriously, Israel? Not even when you were sat down after the first time, asked not to do it again and counselled that you risked your contract being terminated if you did it again? I would have thought there was probably a fair clue in that?

My reckoning would be that when the first post led front and back pages for days on end, and your Wallaby coach of the time, Michael Cheika, told you this was a firestorm that the team just could not accommodate in the lead-up to the 2019 World Cup, that the possibility of termination might have crossed your mind? But, do go on . . .

Former Wallaby Israel Folau in 2018.Credit: Getty

“A couple of months before it all happened, I said a prayer and asked God to bring a challenge on that would really test my faith. If I say I’m a man of faith, I don’t just want to say it giving lip service. I want it to be genuine. I asked to be put through something that would test me. I asked it not really thinking that he was going to give it, so when it all unfolded, I remember that moment.”

Right. So in your world, God was so committed to testing whether you believed in him or not, he decided in his wisdom: “I’ll get Israel Folau to post homophobic nonsense to twice demonise those of my children who are gay, and have him advise the world that they will burn in hell if they give in to the natural instincts that I put in them in the first place. He’ll risk termination from the Wallabies, and the whole sports world will be turned upside down, but this is my plan, so he can prove himself to me.”

Israel? Seriously? This was his plan for you? I mean we all know the biblical line that “He moves in mysterious ways . . .” but this is fair dinkum ludicrous, no?

Another minor miracle

Try this from the zeitgeist zoo. As we speak, the Swans from Sydney have taken out the minor premiership in the traditionally Victorian-dominated competition of AFL, even as the Melbourne Storm have done the same for the usually Sydney-dominated NRL comp.

The Swans are top of the pack again. Credit: AFL Photos

It’s only a short time ago that either feat would have seen much swooning from all of us. How things have changed. But now, no-one so much as blinks!

It is Melbourne’s sixth minor premiership and the Swans’ third in Sydney, and they previously both finished on top of their tables in the same season in 2016.

Cheers to you, Sven

Love this from John Percy of the UK Daily Telegraph this week in the wake of the death of the great England soccer manager Sven-Goran Eriksson, who was the first foreign manager of the England team.

Percy recounted an anecdote from German midfielder Dietmar Hamann, who played under Eriksson at Manchester City, that summed up the notably joyous approach the Swede took to life.

The scene was set when City were on a post-season tour of Thailand as Eriksson was coming to the end of his tenure.

“One morning when I was on a sun lounger by the pool,” Hamann recounted, “he walked towards me with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. It was still only 10 in the morning. I looked up and said, ‘Boss, what are we celebrating’, expecting him to make the triumphant announcement he was staying.

“He turned to me and smiled that gentle smile of his and took the air of a Buddhist philosopher as he said, ‘Life, Kaiser. We are celebrating life’.”

Albo’s praise for Hooper

Thank you, thank you all!

As discussed, we of the Cauliflower Club were privileged to have Prime Minister Anthony Albanese attend our sold lunch in honour of Michael Hooper on Friday.

The Cauliflower Club gave Michael Hooper a fitting send-off.Credit: Dion Georgopoulos

Albo, a keen rugby league player in his youth, said many kind things on the long-time Wallaby captain, but this was his essence: “Michael, you are a champion in every sense of the word. A magnificent player who earned virtually every individual accolade there is. And a truly inspirational leader, made captain at such a young age, yet you stood strong and held the side together through some very challenging times.”

The lunch – chokka with Wallabies, Kangaroos and Steve Waugh, not to mention Sir Peter Cosgrove, who toasted the backs, Andrew Denton, Ray Martin and Tony Jones, who did a great Q&A with Hooper – was a great success, with all funds raised going to help buy equipment for those suffering spinal injuries through sport. RAH!

What They Said

Dustin Martin on hanging up the boots: “As everyone knows, I love the club so much, I love you all so much. I’m going to miss the place so much, just so grateful to be a Tiger.”

Ricky Stuart on bouncing back from a poor performance to beat the Panthers: “Last week was not us and I don’t know where it came from. I was as embarrassed last week as I have been since I’ve coached here. I know what’s in us, which is why I got so cranky about last week.”

Laurie Fisher on where the Wallabies are at: “I don’t think there’s anything in our game that we can tick off and say that that’s world class at this point in time.”

Israel Folau on that post: “When I put up the post, I never thought that I’d get terminated for it. It just never crossed my mind. A couple of months before it all happened, I said a prayer and asked God to bring a challenge on that would really test my faith. If I say I’m a man of faith, I don’t just want to say it giving lip service. I want it to be genuine. I asked to be put through something that would test me. I asked it not really thinking that he was going to give it, so when it all unfolded, I remember that moment.”

Ali Truwit, a 24-year-old US swimmer, who has reclaimed her love for the water just over a year after she lost her leg in a shark attack: “I love comeback stories. I’ve definitely relied on other people’s comeback stories to help me hold on to what feels like a bold and unrealistic hope – of fighting off a shark and surviving and losing a limb and making the Paralympics all in a year.”

Paralympian Ali Truwit survived a shark attack.Credit: AP

Chelsea player Noni Madueke, who scored a with a hat-trick away against Wolverhampton after posting to social media that when it came to the hometown of the Wolves “this place is shit”: “I just want to apologise to everyone that I might have offended. It is just a human mistake, an accident. It wasn’t meant to be out on my socials like that. I’m sure Wolverhampton is a nice town and I’m sorry.”

Layne Riggs, 22-year-old race car driver, was so excited by his first victory in the competition that he jumped on the roof of his car and fell: “I dislocated my shoulder I was celebrating so hard. It hurts like a mug, but it was worth it. It’s not the first time it’s happened to me, but it ain’t gonna slow me down.”

Coco Gauff getting advice from TikTok commenters in terms of defending her US Open title: “Someone commented on my TikTok saying you’ve won in life, literally and figuratively, and there’s no point in piling pressure on yourself on a victory lap. I’m just treating this tournament like that, and if you defend something that means you won something.”

Georgie Parker, who went to her only Olympics in Rio 2016 when the world No.2 Hockeyroos were knocked out in the quarter-finals: “You are told what to eat, how much to sleep, you’re weighing in every day, you’re monitoring every single bit of your life. And you come back, and that all stops, and you don’t actually know what your future looks like. A lot of Olympians think of four-year blocks, so you’re very lost on the other side of it.”

Parker is having her Olympic rings tattoo on her forearm removed as part of her psychological “healing”: “Every time I looked at it, I was reminded of something that I didn’t achieve. I hated that look of pity. My psychologist said that it’s a very therapeutic thing that I’ve done, because you can see that weight of the disappointment is starting to go the further this is going along in removal.”

Team of the Week

CeeDee Lamb is on a good wicket.Credit: AP

Wallabies. In Argentina to take on the Pumas on Sunday morning.

Socceroos. Next round of World Cup qualifying starts on Thursday against Bahrain on the Gold Coast.

Australian cricket team. In the UK to take on Scotland and England in meaningless white ball matches. No, seriously. Does anyone care?

GWS Giants. Taking on the Swans in a final for the fourth time. The weird thing? They have never lost to the Swans in a final.

Babe Ruth. His jersey from the 1932 World Series sold for a record-setting US$24.1 million. Extraordinary. Who has Bradman’s actual bat from the Invincibles tour?

CeeDee Lamb. Dallas Cowboy signed a four-year, US$136 million deal. Makes what they play here for look like proverbial peanuts.

AFLW. Season begins this weekend. Swans kicked it off on Friday night against Collingwood.

X: @Peter_Fitz

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