This Mother’s Day, watch out for the dark side of ‘Mummy Wine Culture’

As I sat at the kitchen table, my daughter excitedly handed me a Mother’s Day card she’d made at school. “To the best Mum ever,” it read. It went on to list Mum’s favourite things. Next to Mum’s favourite drink, she had written “wine.” I laughed it off but inside I felt instantly ashamed, and guilty. It struck me that my six-year-old daughter had gotten used to watching me take the edge off my daily stresses with wine. An ever-present glass of wine at the end of the day meant one thing to her – it was Mum’s favourite drink. Mum’s way of coping with life. Mum’s not-so-secret crutch.

That was six years ago.

Sarah Rusbatch has experienced first-hand how a glass of wine at the end of the day can become something more problematic.

This week I’ve been watching the impact of Big Alcohol on Mother’s Day. From catchy memes about “wine o’clock” to pyjamas covered in wine bottles with the slogan “wine down time”, the messaging is clear: mothers need alcohol to cope with the demands of their daily lives. Being a mother requires wine as a reward.

Mother’s Day has become insidiously intertwined with Mummy Wine Culture and dressed up as cute, fun, novel, and bonding among women. It’s a culture that’s not only normalised among mums but actively encouraged, with Big Alcohol leading the charge and many mothers not needing to be told twice that they “deserve” that evening glass.

But the constant marketing of alcohol as a form of self-care, stress relief, and an appropriate gift around Mother’s Day creates a dangerous narrative.

Over the past 30 years, alcohol use disorder in women has increased by an alarming 84 per cent. This disorder is defined as consuming 14 or more units of alcohol per week, roughly equivalent to just over a bottle of wine. If you’re a grey area drinker, like I was six years ago, this is not a huge amount. Many mums are secretly drinking much more than a bottle a week.

I know because that was me.

And now I see the fallout every day of the impact of Mummy Wine Culture through the thousands of women I coach – the anxiety, the shame, the exhaustion and the lost motivation. We don’t have to be an “alcoholic” for alcohol to still be robbing us of so much in life.

What’s even more concerning is the impact Mummy Wine Culture has on the role modelling to our daughters. Research tells us girls who grow up seeing their mothers use alcohol as a coping mechanism are four times more likely to develop alcohol use disorder themselves. They’ve never had healthy self-care modelled to them. This highlights the intergenerational impact of unhealthy behaviours and the importance of setting positive examples for our kids.

Recent research published in The Lancet has highlighted the link between alcohol consumption and breast cancer. The study predicts that by 2040, 3 million women a year will be diagnosed with breast cancer. One of their recommendations is to ban the commercial marketing of products linked to causing breast cancer, including alcohol. I can’t help but wonder if the Australian government will act on this. Can you imagine Mother’s Day marketing without ever-present glasses of champagne?

Despite alarming statistics around alcohol and breast cancer, awareness among women remains low. Studies show that only 20 per cent of women are aware of the connection between alcohol and the risk of breast cancer. Many women don’t know that three or more drinks per week increases the risk of breast cancer by 15 per cent.

Since the release of my book Beyond Booze: How to Create a Life You Love, Alcohol-Free, I’ve received countless messages from families – husbands and children. They’ll write: “Thank you for giving us our mum back” and “You won’t ever know the impact you’ve had on our family simply by helping my wife.”

This Mother’s Day, I would just love mums to ask themselves if alcohol is taking away more than it’s giving. You don’t need to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. It can be as simple as: “This no longer serves me.”

I’ve just celebrated 5 years alcohol-free and it’s the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself – and my family.

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