I used to think the north v south rivalry was silly. But I reckon there’s a winner

When I first moved to Melbourne, for about a year and a half, I lived … in the south. I admit it, OK, South Yarra. I’ve discovered during my time here that when you live in the north, you must repudiate any associations with whatever lies across the Yarra. Northsiders believe that if you live in the south, you are a yuppie, and basic. Being from Adelaide, I’ve never really understood this bitter rivalry between two sides of the same city, but I took part in it because if there is one thing I hate, it is not being part of an inside joke.

After calling Fitzroy my home in 2022, I made a vow not to move back south until I was older, and “Succession-rich.” It is not that I hated the south, it just felt like I had been there and done that. Perhaps I had too readily swallowed the stereotype. In any case, when you go through a break-up in a specific suburb, it’s nice to put some distance between you and your old stomping ground. As such, I was single when I moved to Fitzroy, which is a significantly more lively than South Yarra. We have Smith Street and Brunswick Street. We have Yah-Yahs, a hundred kebab spots, and a tram that takes you directly into the city without having to swap over. We have the IMAX just down the road!

The north v south debate is ever a matter of contention in Melbourne.

Being young and single in an area like Fitzroy was remarkable. I had never experienced so many petite restaurants and cosy bars with lovely music and ambience. In the south they were all somewhat bougie and a little too mature. Nice, but just not for me at that point in my life. The likes of France-Soir and Bar Carolina are lovely, but are a bit intense and moneyed. They seemed like the sort of places I would go to celebrate my fourth marriage.

Fitzroy made me feel like an adult, but a young and cool one. I felt like I could work at a bar, get drunk, and then walk in the park at night – much to the dismay of my mother who still thinks I will be abducted by evil men. Being a fan of the television series Girls, Fitzroy reminded me of the show and I was thrilled to be part of it. I felt like one of the girls in Girls!

I have lived in Fitzroy now for close to two years. I remember the exact day I moved here. I had pizza for dinner, from DOC. It arrived piping hot, and I knew, at that exact moment, this was the place I was meant to be. But now I don’t know if I want to be still living here in 10 years. I’m looking for a place to call mine for the foreseeable future, and I’ve turned back to the south.

While the north is a little more “alive” and exciting than the south, it offers problems for the home hunter. Apartments in Fitzroy, Carlton and Brunswick are ludicrously expensive, as well as mostly being new, while the south is full of beautiful art deco buildings.

I have always been obsessed with Elwood. A friend of mine used to live there, and he had the most gorgeous art deco apartment, with beautifully high ceilings, windows in every room and to make it even better, it was situated on a perfectly leafy street. It was super close to the beach too. Granted, I don’t like the beach, but it’s still a nice bonus.

I got to live there for a couple of weeks while house sitting, and I just fell in love with the area. I adore the mellowness down there. I love that people say hello and do not judge you for what you are wearing.

On top of that, the parking inspectors are not so stern. Once, I asked one to not ticket me as I was just making a coffee, and would move my vehicle once I had done so, and the inspector just nodded and said, “Alright.” That would never happen in the north. They would give you a ticket for merely suggesting such a thing.

The busyness and lively nature of the north is fantastic when you are young, paying rent, single and in the process of finding yourself. But, and I know this sounds hilarious, I am now in a committed relationship, and in the process of finding, not myself, but rather, my first proper home.

Yes, it’s a cliche of living in the city when you are young, before moving out to “the burbs” but while I used to be excited to go out on Saturday nights, I’ve embraced that they now consist of me and my partner watching old episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and falling asleep at 11.

I’ve realised the whole north v south thing is a bit silly. It is really all about priorities and circumstances. I may not be Succession-rich just yet, but contentment can be found for less.

Roby D’Ottavi is a writer and director based in Melbourne.

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