School is back, and the rule parents repeatedly ignore has me feeling sick

As I drove past a nearby primary school last week, the “Merry Christmas” sign was gone and in its place was a new message: “Welcome back! Please, remember to drive safely.”

On reading it, I felt the bile rise in my throat.

Sure, the endless juggle of school holidays would soon be over – along with its soundtrack of my daughters’ whingeing “I’m bored, Mum, there’s nothing to do” – but the sign signalled a worse fate was imminent: the school run.

Why does the thought of school drop-offs cause such a powerful reaction? Credit: Virginia Star

Parents who have already been in the uniquely volatile, hazardous, and stressful driver’s seat for school drop-offs and pick-ups know what awaits. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make the situation any better, and if you’re anything like me, it can also push the accelerator pedal on your inner anxiety well before the horror show has even begun.

Why? Well, as my high school history teacher once said, echoing what others had said before him: “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

Like some sort of rhyming masterclass, for the past seven years, many parents at my daughters’ primary school have routinely demonstrated what makes the drop-off experience so unbearable.

It’s back to school, and with it the dreaded school drop-off.Credit: Joe Armao

For starters, there’s the disregard for the clearly observable road signs — i.e. no standing, disabled parking. It’s apparently a free-for-all. And those 5-minute parking spots? They’re apparently reserved for the early-bird parents who secure pole position half an hour before the bell rings.

What about following those clearly marked 40km/h school zone speed limits? Nah, it’s time to drive like you’re on the autobahn, making sure you get your kid to school exactly on time, heck sometimes even with a minute to spare.

These parents – the “I’m running late, so it’s justified” ones – have such busy lifestyles (cough, disorganisation), they are allowed to park in bus zones or disabled parks, in front of driveways, or to mount curbs as they see fit, while also talking on their mobile phone.

Perhaps most infuriating is that year after year, schools will ask parents to adhere to the rules, yet these pleas will all be ignored, no matter how nicely the newsletter item, message in the school app or sign out the front of the school may be worded.

But the school run isn’t just chaotic and stressful because of inconsiderate drivers, it’s the well-meaning rule-abiding parents among us who also get a raw deal as we try to follow the rules specified to us by our respective children’s educational institutions.

The rules across schools include, but are not exclusive to, no pushing in or ahead of other vehicles in the line, no leaving large gaps between vehicles, no parents may exit the vehicle, and, in a rebuff to the attachment-style parents, no prolonged embraces or conversations – just kiss and go, please.

While most of these rules are generally understandable from a safety and efficiency perspective, the sheer number of them can mean that trying to recall them all can cause one’s body to involuntarily twitch or, in my case, bile to rise.

Fellow school parent, clinical psychologist and author Dr Rebecca Ray told me that the school run can be a “prime moment” for tension because in addition to the many rules, it combines time pressure, logistical challenges, and emotional demands.

“You’re often rushing against the clock, managing your child’s needs and feelings, and possibly juggling work or other responsibilities. For some parents, these moments can also trigger feelings of guilt or inadequacy, especially if things don’t go smoothly,” she said.

Like me, this stress can be displayed by physical symptoms that can include tension, headaches, and a racing heart.

“Psychologically, you might feel irritable, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained by the process,” Ray added.

So, as I prepare to navigate two separate school runs for the first time (as my eldest starts high school), my message to other parents who have no choice but to enter the irritability-inducing, horn-honking school-run fray is simple: drive safely and may the odds be ever in your favour.

Shona Hendley is a freelance writer based in Victoria.

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