I love Mother’s Day, but it also makes sense to be able to opt out

I don’t know about you, but my inbox has been absolutely spammed with Mother’s Day emails this year.

It seems there are more emails this year, making me wonder if businesses are ramping up their direct marketing in response to people cutting back on discretionary spending.

The top gifts for mums are flowers, alcohol, or an experience, according to Australian Retailers Association and Roy Morgan research.

Aussies are expected to spend almost $1 billion on Mother’s Day this year, up $70 million on last year, according to research from the Australian Retailers Association and Roy Morgan, but 400,000 fewer people are set to buy gifts due to the cost-of-living crunch, with the bigger cash splash due to some people saying they will spend more ($102 per person).

I’ve received so many emails with subject lines like, “gifts for Mother’s Day”, “Shop our Mother’s Day collection here” and “Mother’s Day Edit”, I keep checking what day Mother’s Day actually is because I keep thinking it must surely be on that weekend.

It’s this weekend – Sunday, May 12 – in case you’ve avoided this tsunami of digital marketing.

I swear the emails also started earlier than usual. The first dropped into my inbox on March 22 – about seven weeks before Mother’s Day.

But I’ve also noticed something else – companies asking me if I want to opt out.

“Don’t want Mother’s Day emails?” one asks, asking people to click to stop receiving messages about the event but to otherwise stay subscribed.

Others say things like “we know it’s not something everyone celebrates” or “we know that this can be a sensitive time”.

For people who have experienced a miscarriage, infertility, the loss of their mother or child, or family trauma, this day resurfaces a deep and often silent pain carried by many, and constant reminders hurt.

It would help if the opt-out settings could be permanent, unless reversed, or part of the initial email subscription process.

And while receiving the opt-out email itself could be triggering, it’s nice to know brands are trying not to be tone-deaf, while they look for occasions to sell products.

This opt-out trend is not to say mothers should not be celebrated and thanked at least one day out of 365.

In fact, they deserve more.

Being a mother is the most beautiful, challenging, exhausting, joy-inspiring experience, and it can feel like the endless chores, activities and mental load involved in raising children is unseen.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not for one second ungrateful to be lucky enough to be a mother to healthy children.

It’s just sweet to have a special day for some extra love and thanks, even if all that means is a sloppy kiss, an extra 30 minutes in bed, some crayon-scribbles on a home-made card and a pasta necklace.

But not everyone should be forced to participate in this event.

I know some people use the day to celebrate other “mums” in their lives – aunts, friends, mentors.

LGBTIQ families have their own approaches to Mother’s and Father’s Day.

Whatever it means to you, whether you love the extra love or enjoy the chance to celebrate your own mother or mother figure, or if you would prefer this day totally passed you by, I hope that happens for you.

P.S. I’m painfully aware this column mentions Mother’s Day repeatedly, but for anyone who did not want to read about this day, hopefully you opted out of reading this article.