Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oh boy… make it stop

If the competitors are wearing green and gold on the field, it’s only ever a matter of time until you hear it. Some yahoo, possibly high from the smell of face paint, bellowing into the air.

“Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,” they yell, seeking the thrill of immediate validation as you brace yourself for what’s to come.

“Oi! Oi! Oi” comes the inevitable reply.

‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oi!’ has become our Olympic - and sporting - anthem.Credit: Edd Aragon

So synonymous is this vapid chant with Australian sporting culture, Brisbane 2032 organisers made it front and centre of their event on Tuesday to mark eight years to the Brisbane Games.

They urged all Australian fans to send videos of themselves performing this mindless act to all the social media platforms, using the #Brisbane2032 hashtag to make sure people cheering the athletes in Paris keep one eye on Brisbane’s bright future.

It’s not the organising committee’s fault, of course – I’m afraid this one is on us.

Like any organisation trying to reach as big an audience as possible, Brisbane 2032 is trying to capture the zeitgeist.

Sadly, for Australian sports fandom, ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oi!’ is the Australian sporting zeitgeist.

It doesn’t have to be this way. And I hate to be the one to say this, but we could learn a bit from the English.

Now, I’m no Liverpool fan. But hearing 95,000 fans belt out You’ll Never Walk Alone at the MCG a decade or so back? That was spine-tingling.

My team, West Ham United, has I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, a whimsical exploration of what it means to support a club mostly bereft of success – “they fly so high, nearly reach the sky, then like my dreams they fade and die...”

And it’s not just the round-ball code. Rugby fans have Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, while the sound of thousands of Scots singing Flower of Scotland always brings a tear to this Mackintosh clansman’s eye.

Nor is it just the British Isles. It’s most of the planet, with Australia and the United States being notable exceptions.

A case in point: Argentina’s Es un Sentimiento, no Puedo Parar is still ringing in my ears after I watched them knock us out of the 2022 World Cup on their way to Lionel Messi lifting the most famous trophy in world sport.

It was so loud I could feel it. A meek “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oi” in response would have felt, well, unworthy.

Tuesday marked eight years to the start of the Brisbane 2032 Olympic Games. The world’s athletes will spend a lot of that time training hard to get here.

Organisers will spend a lot of that time figuring out just how we’re going to deliver the biggest multi-sport event on Earth.

Australian sports fans have the opportunity to use just a little bit of that time to come up with something a little more inspiring than ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’.

Our sporting heroes deserve no less.

Hopefully, by Brisbane 2032, our sporting culture will have matured and evolved into something a little more sophisticated and stimulating.

Otherwise, the ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’ chant will be almost as embarrassing as the no-frills stadium around which it will echo.