Each weekend I look forward to your recipes. What a spectacularly simple but delicious cake from Julia Busuttil Nishimura [July 22]! I made it twice – here’s a photo of the second version with some garnish from my garden. It was a lovely treat for a very dear friend’s birthday. All who tried it loved it.
Elizabeth Fuller
Clayton South, VIC
The Power of One
As the mother of a single child, I read “The Power of One” [July 22] with interest. I cannot begin to understand why anyone else is even vaguely interested in what is a hugely personal choice. Sometimes it is NOT a choice, simply the confluence of circumstances. When I was a childless, youngish, married woman, I experienced the constant personal intrusion into my choices. Later, I experienced the trauma of infertility therapy, miscarriage and troubled pregnancy, as well as being occasionally verbally delegated to the position of grandmother to my own child. Some of this was by well-intentioned strangers. More by well-intentioned family members. After reading the article, I can only say stay out of other people’s personal business. People will have as many kids as they choose, and will raise them how they choose.
Margaret Tresidder
Ermington, NSW
The article on only kids so resonated with me. Yes, I have one daughter now in her late 50s, but suffered the taunts of having one child so many years go.
Jean Gillespie
Redcliffe, Qld
That joyful toddler on last weekend’s cover is undoubtedly happy in a one-child family. The reasons for this new trend to small families range from later marriage and careers to over-population concern for the planet. My husband was an only child and our long marriage, with happy children,
lasted until his death in old age. However, if we were young again, I’m sure we’d be having just one child who, after all, can always enjoy deep friendships with other kids.
Barbara Fraser
Burwood, VIC
The Long Run
Tony Birch’s journey from high school “factory fodder” to academic success was long and hard fought [July 22]. Armed with the discipline of long-distance running and encouragement from an enthusiastic TAFE English teacher, Tony left behind the failures of his troubled youth as he went on to complete his HSC, followed by a successful university career. This inspiring story should remind us all that hard work, grit and determination can achieve great things – no matter what our age.
Judith Caine
Donvale, VIC
Modern Guru
Thank you so much for raising the issue of endangered pedestrians on busy footpaths [July 22]. I live near a large shopping centre, also a highly frequented train station. Navigating my suburb is terrifying.
Frances Macdonald
Miranda, NSW
ONLINE COMMENTS
The Power of One
Most people mean no harm when they ask parents about the number of children they are expecting. However, these questions can have a profound impact on couples who may, for a swathe of reasons, not have had as many children as they originally planned – or no children at all. My parents were older when they had me and tried for a second child. My baby sister had Down’s syndrome and was sadly stillborn. I know my parents would have loved her as much as they loved me, but seemingly innocent questions such as “only one?” were quite traumatic for my mother. I made a similar mistake myself when I was much younger – asking a lady during casual conversation when she was planning on having children. She was offended and said that she and her partner had been trying unsuccessfully for some time. I felt terrible and apologised for being so rude and insensitive. I’ve never asked that question again as it’s so deeply personal. Olga the Brolga
If you talk to an only child over 60, they will have complaints – “I was lonely, I was unhappy, I wish I had a sibling”. Not my experience. I might have appreciated a sibling or two to help when my parents were ailing and died, but I observe among others that they are not always a help. Mango
Having a COVID baby (May 2020) with next to no support in the aftermath (mothers groups etc), seeing the stresses and pressure on a working mother, a lack of suitable nanny options due to the border restrictions and paying nearly $50,000 per annum for daycare… we will stop with our healthy and happy three-year-old. Boo Radley
We have only one child, a daughter, now 34. I wanted another kid when she was two, but the wife didn’t and told me to get snipped as she wanted to go off the pill. While being prepared for the surgery a nurse asked how many kids I had fathered. When I said “just the one” she replied, “an only child is a lonely child.” Thanks for that, I thought, how very tactful. Our daughter was never lonely, had lots of friends and sleepovers and appreciated life with her parents’ full attention and no sibling rivalry. The punchline to all this though is that she has herself produced four boys. dargie4
We’ve got a 10-year-old “only” and have never once had anyone ask us why we’ve only got one or questioned what sort of human they’ll turn out to be. Blue bees
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