This was published 11 months ago
Opinion
‘Fridge clean out this Friday!’ The office politics of the work lunch
Thomas Mitchell
Culture reporterIn every office in every corner of the globe, there is a person who decides it is their duty to monitor what is going on in the work kitchen. They are usually responsible for the passive-aggressive notes that remind everyone “the dishes don’t do themselves” or say things that are vaguely offensive, like, “Your mother does NOT work here! Clean up after yourself!”
But the moment they really live for is their once-a-month email blast that foreshadows an upcoming fridge clean. The subject line is often angry – FRIDGE CLEAN THIS FRIDAY!!? – followed by a series of veiled threats that make it known anything not clearly labelled will be tossed out, banished, binned! Tupperware and all.
When it comes to the work lunch, there are two types of people: those who buy and those who bring. Credit: Marija Ercegovac
As someone who exclusively brings their lunch to work but is also very forgetful, I have fallen victim to Fridge Clean Friday more times than I care to admit.
At best guess, hundreds of dollars worth of Tupperware has been tossed in the past year alone, which really stings, considering bringing my lunch to work is a cost-saving measure.
When I explained this scenario to a colleague who sits next to me (and has never brought lunch in), she was both unsympathetic and unhelpful: “Maybe you should start buying your lunch every day instead.”
And therein lies the fault line that divides every workplace.
When it comes to the work lunch, there are two types of people: those who buy and those who bring. Occasionally, the lines blur; you may bring most days and buy as a once-off, but for the most part, we exist in two distinct camps.
The Great Divide normally becomes apparent around one o’clock (eating lunch before then should be outlawed) when each side begins their routine. Gathering in the kitchen alongside my fellow budget eaters, there is a palpable sense of community and camaraderie.
Together, we have ferried our little lunches across the city safely, silly spinach leaves and cans of tuna, last night’s leftovers topped up with cups of rice. “Who wants half an avocado?” asks someone. “Oh, I do” comes the reply.
We compare notes and trade tips, discussing how much better next-day spaghetti tastes and complimenting each other’s creations.
This stock image should be called: Smug office worker enjoys her homemade salad while her idiotic colleagues spend a fortune on sushi.Credit: Daisy-Daisy
Nowhere are you more likely to have someone gush over your disgusting ham and cheese toastie than in the office kitchen. “Wow, that looks yum!” It doesn’t, but thank you.
Meanwhile, the big spenders are still weighing up their options, as if they won’t end up getting the same $16 box of sushi they get every day. My desk neighbour is a big offender of this. “What do I feel like today?” is something she says a lot, even though the answer is almost always: “Sushi.”
Personally, I think paying $16 for sushi five times a week should be grounds for immediate termination. But even worse is buying lunch every day and not branching out.
Get the banh mi, try that dumpling joint, buy a sandwich so large it requires three layers of alfoil, please, I beg of you, think outside the (assorted sushi) box.
Paying $16 for sushi five times a week should be grounds for immediate termination.
Her reasoning is that sushi seems healthy (even though it’s basically sugar rice!) and it’s easy to consume at the desk in front of co-workers.
Admittedly, there is something to be said about certain foods being inappropriate for the office.
Subway is touch and go, given it masquerades as a sandwich shop, but traditional fast food is a firm no; eating McDonald’s at your desk is a visual clue to co-workers that things are going badly in your life. The same rules apply to Oporto and KFC; anything involving a bucket, really. Strangely, buying pizza is also banned, but reheating old pizza is totally fine if not encouraged.
Some people believe that tinned tuna is offensive; however, it’s the protein of choice for 90 per cent of the workforce, so that gets a pass. Unfortunately, eggs are a step too far – especially if they’re curried or boiled – and soups should be avoided unless you can eat them in complete silence.
Ultimately, despite our differences, we can all agree that eating lunch represents the absolute high point of the working day. Coffee might make the morning bearable, but nothing compares to the thrill that comes with knowing you’re about to stop working and start eating.
So whether bought and paid for or painstakingly brought in, lunch is the carrot we dangle in front of ourselves to survive.
Just don’t leave it in the fridge too long; I heard there’s a fridge clean next Friday.
Find more of the author’s work here. Email him at thomas.mitchell@smh.com.au or follow him on Instagram at @thomasalexandermitchell and on Twitter @_thmitchell.
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