The silent struggle facing many adult daughters

Three weeks ago, a friend showed up for our catch-up looking distraught. During lunch, I asked her if everything was OK. She said nothing was OK. Nothing was the same. Her father had just passed away, and he had left a will bequeathing all his inheritance to her brother, her parents’ second-last born. My friend got nothing, not even a mention.

She and her two sisters were in disbelief. How could their father – a highly educated, well-travelled professional – do this? This man they had loved and adored, with whom they had weekly Sunday lunches at their family home, had erased his daughters not only from the will, but from their family legacy too.

The disinheritance of women is a “more common issue than people realise”.Credit: Dionne Gain

This is, unfortunately, the silent struggle many adult daughters face. This past autumn alone, I interacted with four women from different communities, backgrounds and social strata who’d experienced the same situation: their parents had disinherited them simply for being daughters.

How could this still be happening in 2025?

The pain of being disinherited

“The disinheritance of women continues to be prevalent because men are still often viewed as leaders of families and custodians of legacy,” says Shagun Chawla, clinical psychologist at Mindview Psychology.

“Women, in contrast, can often be considered to ‘belong’ to their husband’s family after marriage, which contributes to their exclusion from inheritance. This mindset can be difficult to challenge because it’s tied to long-standing family survival narratives.”

‘When inheritance decisions reflect unequal values, they can lead to many daughters internalising the pain, especially when the decision is framed as ‘practical’ or ‘cultural’.’

Shagun Chawla, clinical psychologist at Mindview Psychology

Chawla says when it comes to family, disinheritance is never just about dollars, it’s deeply psychological.

“Even in societies that promote gender equality, like Australia, experiencing exclusion within one’s own family creates a painful experience and contrast. It is not just about money or being left out of the will; it’s about the fundamental human need to be recognised, valued, and included,” says Chawla.

“When inheritance decisions reflect unequal values, they can lead to many daughters internalising the pain, especially when the decision is framed as ‘practical’ or ‘cultural’.”

“The trauma is often further compounded when women feel they can’t talk about it due to fear, shame, or to protect family ties. This silence becomes a second wound – one where they are left to carry the grief and betrayal alone.”

Contesting a will

Is there any legal recourse, then, for those who face this kind of devastating, gendered injustice?

Natalie Johnston, a lawyer at Johnstone and Reimer Lawyers who specialises in estate litigation, says the disinheritance of women is a far more common issue than people realise. Still, she says, there are options available as wills are not final – they can be contested.

“A will can be changed by agreement or a court order,” says Johnston. “An adult child of a deceased person is eligible to bring a claim under Part IV of the Administration and Probate Act 1958.”

Wills are not final and can be contested.Credit:

“The other option is to enter into a Deed of Family Arrangement. This type of deed is used to essentially change the terms of the will, particularly how assets are distributed between beneficiaries.”

However, should the involved parties fail to agree and the matter proceeds to trial, demonstrating economic hardship would be key, says Suzanne Jones, head of estate planning at Coote Family Lawyers.

“It’s important to be able to establish some sort of financial need, as the court does not look to ‘equalise’ gifts made to siblings, or to compensate someone for poor parental behaviour, so arguments made on this basis alone may not be successful.”

As for whether it’s worth it for daughters who’ve been disinherited to pursue justice, Johnston strongly recommends that one seeks legal advice, as there is a time limit to pursue a claim for further provision from an estate.

“I always consider it worthwhile to be fully informed of your options, rather than to just, ‘accept and move on’.”

• Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.

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