With the cost-of-living crisis not showing any signs of slowing down, the way young people are dating is changing. Financial positions have quickly become a marker of compatibility, couples are moving in together faster, and creative, low-cost date ideas are keeping the spark alive.

While living with friends, or like-minded people found on Facebook, continues to be a popular choice for many, more young couples are choosing to move in together earlier, either alone or as part of a broader share house, to save.

Canberra-based couple Phoebe and Reece have been living together since 2021. Originally from Melbourne, they met in high school and moved into a two-bedroom apartment with a friend upon moving to Canberra for university.

They found this was the “best and cheapest option” compared with living in on-campus accommodation.

The duo evenly split costs of living in their shared apartment, including bills and some groceries. If they go out on a date, one will usually pay the bill “knowing that it will come back around” as the other will shout the next one.

Despite having been together for more than six years, Phoebe and Reece have had to cut back in ways they haven’t had to in the past. While the pair still consider going on dates to be important, it’s not always realistic in this economy.

Approximately 5.6 million Australians considered cost of living to be the main challenge in their relationships.

“We have had to get creative at times with our date ideas; we have done small clay-making dates, painting, Minecraft nights. One of our favourites is Lego dates … we take turns, page by page, to build the model,” said Phoebe.

A survey conducted in Australia last year by dating app Bumble found the couple aren’t alone. Many would opt for dates that are low-cost or no cost at all, such as going for a walk. For other couples, shared living and other cost-cutting measures are beginning to take a toll on their relationships.

A December 2024 report from Relationships Australia revealed that 79 per cent of Australians had experienced “relationship pressures” in the prior six months. Approximately 5.6 million Australians considered cost of living to be the main challenge in their relationships.

One such couple is Canberra-based Evie and her former partner, who moved in together after just over a year of dating. Evie notes this was “probably earlier than we should have” but financial pressures accelerated the decision.

At the time, neither of them had a steady income due to being full-time students “and it made a lot of sense financially to rent a shared bedroom”.

The bedroom was rented in a share house with friends, and when fortnightly rent payments were due, the money would come out of Evie’s bank account.

Although living together itself did not cause issues in the relationship, “chasing up the money … was an unpleasant dynamic for both of us”, she says.

After 3½ months of living together, the two broke up, and her partner moved out. Evie also chose to move out for both mental health and financial reasons as she couldn’t absorb their portion of the rent.

Due to the financial burden and stress placed on her, Evie wishes she had “considered more deeply the ramifications of moving in” with her former partner.

Another trend Bumble observed is that people are more likely to inquire about finances earlier on with their date. As cost-of-living pressures mount, 55 per cent of Australians surveyed considered financial conversations fitting within the first six months of a relationship.

Although in different ways, each of these couples have changed the way they date due to cost-of-living pressures, operating within their relationships for a reason previous generations have not needed to.

As for Phoebe and Reece, their advice to other couples who are thinking of moving in together is to “be patient, be ready to learn how each other live day-to-day, and understand that communicating about even the small things will make life 10 times easier”.

Nuria Olive is an ANU international relations student and a former editor of the ANU Observer.

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