Is this Australian street really ‘the world’s coolest’? Not for me

There might be some people around the world who are a little surprised by High St in Melbourne’s north being named the “World’s Coolest Street” by Time Out.

But you know who I reckon is not surprised? The good people of Melbourne’s north. Those who live in the area tend to be fairly confident of the coolness of their locale. You don’t live in Fitzroy or Brunswick or Carlton or Thornbury or Preston and be disappointed by it.

High Street, Thornbury. The recently proclaimed “coolest street in the world” is eight kilometres long and runs across multiple suburbs.Credit: Paul Jeffers

And fair enough too, because these are great, great suburbs. Walkable suburbs. Vibrant, diverse suburbs. Creative suburbs. And yes, cool suburbs.

So why wouldn’t High St get a guernsey? The road goes through Northcote, Thornbury and Preston, and as Time Out says, “High Street’s bona fide cool status comes down to its unique, something-for-everyone local businesses”.

There’s only one downside here and that is, like your favourite indie band suddenly finding themselves being played on Nova 100, this award means that High Street is going mainstream. Cue the influx of tourists. You’ll have to move to Coburg (which, I know, is already cool).

This does, however, bring up an interesting point: what actually makes a street cool? Obviously any list on the internet is there to provoke argument (don’t ask me how I know this), and there are a few entries in Time Out’s top 10 that I would question. Is Rua da Boavista even the coolest street in Lisbon, let alone the world? Same goes for Chazawa-dori in Tokyo, and Consell de Cent in Barcelona.

Rua da Boavista wouldn’t qualify as the best street in Lisbon, never mind one of the world’s best.Credit: Alamy

The Time Out judges seem to have a preference for long thoroughfares: High Street in Melbourne is almost eight kilometres long; if you can’t pick out a couple of decent bars and a few shops on a road that lengthy, you’ve got problems. Consell de Cent is five kilometres – I couldn’t run that. Chazawa-dori is about three kilometres, which in Tokyo terms is about five planets.

Those tend not to be the sort of streets I seek out when I’m travelling. Instead, what I’m after is small, quiet, cosy, and maybe even a little under-the-radar.

In Barcelona, for example, Calle del Parlament in the Sant Antoni neighbourhood is the spot for me. Three city blocks, and that’s it. But in those three blocks you have a swag of vermouth bars that are pumping in the hours before lunch and dinner; you have high-quality tapas bars for something more substantial, with tables spilling out onto tree-lined pavements; old-school bars peddle cheap coffee; grocers sell basic fruit and veg; there’s a barber and a tattooist.

In Koenji in western Tokyo, meanwhile, there’s a narrow street running south of the main train station called Pal Street. Part of it is a “shotengai”, an old-school covered shopping strip, this one filled with restaurants and coffee shops and the odd clothing store.

Pal Street, an old-school covered walk in Tokyo.Credit: Alamy

Keep walking along Pal Street, however, and you find vintage store after vintage store, some of the best in Tokyo (and hence, the world), just shop after shop packed with cool things. There are a few top-notch record stores. Some seriously good ramen and soba joints. And every little street running left and right is filled with the same.

This is Tokyo though. The city probably has 100 – literally 100 – streets that are just as cool, if not cooler.

Even in Melbourne, you could make a case for Gertrude St, just a few blocks running through the south of Fitzroy, being the coolest promenade in the city. Or how about Barkly St in Footscray for an up-and-comer?

This is all highly subjective though, and it really depends on what you’re into. My dream street definitely has good food, that’s a given. I want a split of different foodie experiences, from a café with great coffee to a snack bar or sandwich-type joint to cheap-and-cheerful dinners and maybe a few high-end restaurants.

I want classy, creative boutiques. I want vintage stores that have curated their collections so I don’t have to spend hours trawling through stuff I don’t like (I know some people enjoy the hunt, but not me). I want bars that are friendly and unpretentious and that you can feel comfortable in regardless of who you are and how many people you’re there with.

Some proximity to the city centre helps. I also want a street that’s quiet and largely car (and tram) free, one with plenty of trees for natural shade, public spots to sit, somewhere that’s a pleasure to walk down even if you’re not going into any of the restaurants or shops.

I want a street that’s not so cool that everyone knows it, and conforms to it. I want somewhere organic and friendly and just nice.

Does High St in Melbourne match that? Not exactly. Though it’s still great. And I’m sure the locals love it.