By Wendy Tuohy
In Jens Poser’s demographic of professional men in their 30s, the right to be equally present in their kids’ lives is a given.
Even in traditionally male-dominated industries such as his – at the equality-friendly brewer Lion – there is an expectation that there will be flexibility to be an equal parent, he says.
Jens Poser, a father of three who works in strategy and insights at Lion, shares parenting and home duties equally with his wife, Rhiannon Nixon, including care of one-year-old daughter Greta.Credit: Darrian Traynor
“The benefits ... are being able to share in the care of my children and actually experience them – not just do ‘playground dad’ on the weekend – and more importantly, it’s the sense of equality between Rhiannon and me,” he says.
East-German-born Poser, a son of two full-time-working parents, realises he may live in a “progressive pocket” where he is “by far not the only male at the school gate”.
He is part of a fast-moving shift in attitudes about fatherhood and masculinity in general that is being pushed by state and federal government policies, promoted by men’s health advocates and supported by competitive employers such as Lion, which offers all new parents the same 18-week package.
This month, Australian men have been asked to embrace “healthy masculinity” in the National Plan to End Violence Against Women, and to move into female-dominated industries (in a report by Bankwest Curtin Economic Centre and the Workplace Gender Equality Agency) to help close the gender pay gap.
Men have learned they may be “forced” to use or lose parental leave in a bid to get them to do a bigger share of domestic work, boosting women’s economic participation.
Michael Flood, a long-time researcher on men and masculinity, says this is helping to intensify action to engage and change men, aimed at improving men’s lives and gender equality.
“I see that very much as a good thing,” he says.
Flood says even the backlash – young men turning to hypermasculine influencers such as the “money-mad misogynist” Andrew Tate – is a sign of healthy progress.
He is optimistic because data shows that although men recognise the pressure to conform to narrow stereotypes, it also shows they agree “men have a role to play in building gender equality”.
But strong support still exists for statements such as “men are now criticised too much”, “there’s a war on men” and “masculinity is under attack”.
“Among about 25 per cent of men, there’s sympathy for backlash ideas such as ‘feminism has gone too far’, ‘men are being blamed unfairly’ and so on,” says Flood. “About 25 per cent oppose [those statements] and 50 per cent are in the moveable middle – they’re ‘persuadable’.”
He is part of a mainly male group including “dadvocates” – such as Man Raises Boy author Rob Sturrock, Women, Men and the Whole Damn Thing author David Leser, masculinity educators Tomorrow Man and Jesuit Social Services’ Men’s Project – gender researchers and anti-violence leaders who meet regularly online to share ideas about promoting positive masculinity and “healthier, better lives for boys and men”.
They are creating a national network “to increase attention to this area of engaging men for positive change ... and to be the public voice for positive change,” says Flood, whose work has revealed young men who conform to rigid masculine norms are more likely to harm themselves and others and suffer worse mental health.
“When issues such as fathering and family law come up, or domestic and family violence, you get the ‘men’s rights movement’ and the anti-feminist backlash voice. We want to be a positive alternative and more than that a positive voice for men’s roles in healthy masculinity.”
Flood’s only concern is that for some boys and young men who display traits not associated with the “man box” of rigid male stereotypes, “there is some pressure on them to start identifying as girls; and likewise girls and young women who don’t feel like stereotypical young women. I worry that they hear from some quarters, ‘Oh, you should be a boy’.”
“I would much rather we applaud gender non-conformity in a more open-ended way.”
This “more expansive” definition of masculinity will help foster better emotional health and relationships for men, reduce risky behaviour and lower the risk of self-harm, says inclusivity consultant Coleen MacKinnon.
There is a huge appetite for it, she says, and recent events including the heavy emphasis on gender at the jobs and skills summit show the government “is cognisant of a generational shift in societal attitudes” to gender.
But men must be invited to discussions; for example, about how they will benefit from change to the male breadwinner model that contributes to financial stress, a factor in male suicide.
“There’s increasing awareness around men’s mental health and the limitations (and contributions) of the male breadwinner – suicide is the highest cause of death amongst men. Men comprise 76 per cent of all suicides: 83 per cent linked to financial stress,” says MacKinnon.
“One in three fathers report experiencing work-family conflict and high psychological distress.”
Clinical psychologist Zac Seidler, of the men’s mental health and suicide prevention agency Movember, wonders whether men have been involved heavily enough in the redesign of Australian masculinity. He says men’s health groups have not had enough access to policy-making.
Clinical psychologist Zac Seidler, of Movember and Orygen youth mental health, says men’s health agencies have not had enough access to gender equality policy-making.
“This has been women’s work, when they say ‘healthy masculinity’, when they say ‘masculine norms are things we need to approach and attack’, none of this is happening with male collaboration,” he says.
“The main reason for this is gender politics and gender equity has not been a male priority in any way. It has not been sold to us. It has not been described as something worthy of our attention.”
Seidler, whose father died by suicide, says he, Matt Tyler of The Men’s Project and Michael Flood have “forced our way into the conversation”, but men need to be more involved in how they change the status quo.
But Tyler is also optimistic that changes being ushered in at government and grassroots levels are positive. “What we’re seeking is to promote a more flexible idea about what it means to be a man, so men and boys are free to show up as themselves,” he says.
“What’s in it for men and boys themselves is more flourishing lives.”
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