Why Bridgerton made me feel lovable for the first time

Most young girls I know grow up dreaming of falling in love and getting married. I grew up thinking that no one would ever love me or marry me because I’m brown.

Maybe this was because I was one of just two students with an Indian background in my school, because the “skin colour” pencil was never actually the colour of my skin, or because the pretty, popular girls in the TV shows I watched never looked like me.

Simone Ashley as Kate Sharma in season two of Bridgerton.Credit: Liam Daniel/Netflix

It wasn’t until midway through high school that I realised all of my friends of colour had actually experienced, or still do experience, the same thoughts I’d had.

A whole generation of South Asian children growing up in Australia thinking they are unlovable, and it’s probably not exclusive to South Asians.

The lack of representation of South Asians in the media hit me pretty hard on Halloween. All my friends were picking someone they looked like to dress up as - characters from Mean Girls, Gossip Girl and Scooby-Doo. I was left racking my brain for any cool character who actually looked like me. I couldn’t come up with one.

I was never truly convinced anyone could love me without wishing I was whiter or wishing I looked like somebody else. I never saw it happen in the media, in any of the shows or films I watched, so why would it happen in real life?

But recently there’s been an uptick of South Asian representation in popular culture, and it’s helped me finally accept and embrace my culture and appearance. Things have slowly been changing - think Mindy Kaling’s roles or Geraldine Viswanathan in Blockers.

Bridgerton, in particular, had me dancing around the house, because for one of the first times ever the “It girl” isn’t just Indian, but from the same part of India as my family. The joy I feel when I turn on Bridgerton and watch all the men and women gawk at the beautiful Simone Ashley is unmatched. Not only that, but people around the world are raving about her appearance, powerful acting and how incredible she is.

The pretty, popular girls in TV shows I grew up watching were nearly always blonde. I would watch beautiful women with long blonde hair and sky-blue eyes strut through a hallway. I would watch characters such as Regina George, Elle Woods, Cher Horowitz, Rachel Green and countless others. We would all watch in awe. They became the beauty standard. But they never looked like me.

Finally, I get to watch a star who looks like me. South Asian girls get to look up to a beautiful, successful woman who has features that resemble theirs. I get to feel beautiful and accepted, and I hope that they do too.

I think this moment could actually make a big difference in a lot of South Asian children’s lives. We generally were only represented as nerdy comic relief characters before this. We were rarely represented as beautiful, powerful, strong people that everyone wants to be with.

As an Indian who hates maths and IT, I have never resonated with that kind of South Asian representation. But now it’s as if the stereotypes have started melting away. We don’t have to be the stereotypical kid with big glasses who’s great with computers, or a shop owner or taxi driver. We can be beautiful, smart, strong, independent - and desired.

If I had been able to grow up with this kind of representation, maybe I and all the other children of colour might not have had such a difficult time accepting ourselves.

I now know that brown is beautiful, but I wish I knew this when I was younger, and I hope that this is only the beginning of South Asian representation in the media.

Which begs the question: when will South Asian men get their limelight, so my little brother has a cool role model who looks like him? As I’ve learnt from my experience and from seeing someone like Simone Ashley on Bridgerton, representation is everything. So when will there be an Indian superhero, a Nepalese playboy, or a Pakistani James Bond?

Maya Chandler is a year 12 student who lives in Sydney.

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