Forget about footy and care for your daughter: How Hardwick had McQualter’s back

For 38 weeks nothing was wrong. Then Jane McQualter went in for an ultrasound and the obstetrician noticed something that shouldn't be there.

It looked like a growth near the baby's kidneys. The obstetrician said it was probably a cyst and told Jane and her husband, Andrew, not to worry; they would monitor it.

Jane went home and resisted the temptation to Google anything. Andrew went back to work as an assistant coach at Richmond Football Club. His head was in a fog but having been a footballer, playing 89 games for St Kilda including three grand finals, and now making his living as a coach, he believed in the power of positive thinking. He kept the news to himself.

Andrew McQualter (left) will step up as interim coach after Damien Hardwick’s shock resignation.Credit: Getty Images

Another scan at 40 weeks showed the growth was bigger. Again, Jane and Andrew were told not to worry; they would deal with it once their baby was born. Soon afterwards, Emily arrived. It was the best day of their lives. They had a beautiful daughter and life could not be better.

Emily was sent for an ultrasound to check on the growth, and the new family arrived at the Royal Children's Hospital expecting to be directed to paediatrics. They were sent to oncology.

Jane McQualter cradles baby Emily in the early weeks.

"We didn't even know it was potentially cancer, we didn't know it was oncology, we thought it was for a paediatrician. They didn't tell us anything because they didn't want us to worry but we rock up at the hospital and we are sent to the oncology unit with a five-day-old baby," Jane said.

“I didn’t let myself think about it before she was born so I was so shocked when we rocked up to the hospital and were directed to the oncology unit.″⁣

They met with the paediatric oncologist and Emily was booked in for an MRI when she was 10 days old. She was so small and pale they could not inject the dye in her veins. The results of the MRI were inconclusive.

At 20 days old, Emily was sent for an MIGB scan, for which a radioactive medication is injected into the blood. Again, there was trouble getting the dye into her tiny veins. Again, the results were inconclusive.

"They thought she was probably all good, just a cyst so we got the all clear when she was three weeks old, saying let's leave it for now and monitor her," Jane said. "If it was neuroblastoma, which is what they were checking for, there was a chance it would just go away, or if it was a cyst it could just stay the same size."

Emily had another ultrasound three weeks later.

"We got the call the day after saying you have to come in to see us straight away. We went in to see the paediatric oncologist and they said it has doubled in size in a few weeks. I think it was two-centimetre by two-centimetres so it had grown a fair bit," Andrew said.

Emily was six weeks old by now, not a great feeder and not really gaining weight, but she seemed normal. She was happiest when she was lying on her back and was a bit crotchety when she was picked up, but otherwise OK.

Still, she was booked in for surgery immediately because the doctors were worried the cyst was pushing on her organs.

Andrew had told a few people at Richmond what was happening but not everyone. It was the winter of 2017 and the Tigers were becoming a good team and a better club. They had bought into a new coaching mantra of vulnerability and storytelling, of care and love for one another. Andrew and Jane were utterly vulnerable.

Senior coach Damien Hardwick told Andrew to forget football and care for his daughter. The other coaches would cover for him.

By the time Emily had the surgery, the cyst was the size of a table tennis ball. She was eight weeks old.

Testing times: Emily as a newborn.

"Going in for surgery was pretty tough, just watching her go in. She was just so small. We were sitting in the waiting room and they just took her pretty much," Andrew said. "I just remember sitting in that park during the operation. That was hard. It took a lot longer than they expected."

The surgeon told them the operation went well. He doubted it was neuroblastoma because it didn't have the normal characteristics, but in any case he had removed everything. They sent the cyst off for tests to be sure.

Then Emily got sick. She had a fever, so they took her to their GP, who referred her to the Royal Children's where they were more familiar with her history.

"We went into emergency and the doctor was sitting there with us and she was on the computer looking up her records. I just saw her face drop. She said, 'Have you guys got the results yet of the surgery?''' Andrew said.

"We said, 'No, we haven't spoken to our oncologist yet.' She was like, 'I think I have to tell you this. It's cancer.'"

It was 10.30pm on a Tuesday and they sat in the Royal Children's Hospital with Emily and Jane's mum and cried. They spent the night with Emily in the hospital and saw the oncologist the next morning.

"Straight away you just, your world goes upside down because you start thinking the worst case scenario," Jane said.

Neuroblastoma is a rare disease with about 40 children in Australia diagnosed each year. It is almost exclusively a childhood cancer. There are different types of neuroblastoma, an aggressive form and a non-aggressive form. Jane and Andrew were desperate that Emily not have the aggressive type.

The sample could not be tested in Melbourne so there was a long wait for the results. Meanwhile, Emily was booked in for a PET scan to see if the cancer had spread.

This was the start of September. Footy finals. And Richmond was playing.

"I didn't tell many people at first. Dimma [Hardwick] and Tim Livingston [head of coaching and football performance] were across everything and they were unbelievable. Honestly I don't know how I would have got through it without their support because they just let me do what I needed," Andrew said.

"I was having days where I just wouldn't come in. I was stoppages coach and I still did my job completely, I turned up to everything that was important in football terms. I think the players kind of knew something was happening but would not have known everything, or the seriousness.

"I don't think I could have dealt emotionally with everybody asking about it all the time. When I needed to come home or to the hospital they were just, 'Don't even ask.'"

PRELIMINARY FINAL DAY 2017

Andrew, Jane and Emily visited the doctors in the morning. The test results were back. It was the non-aggressive variety. Emily would be OK.

That night Richmond won.

Tigers players celebrate their 2017 preliminary final win over GWS.Credit: AAP

"When we won I lost it, I was just bawling. I kept it together for most of the whole time with our emotions really but after the game I lost it, just had to duck off to a side room there at the 'G and it all just came out a bit," Andrew said.

Emily needed blood and urine tests every three months but they expected she would be OK.

"I remember looking back at the grand final and I couldn't lose. It's not about me, as a coach, but the win we had with Emily was incredible," Andrew said.

"Having lost a few grannies I knew what that was like. It was a pretty emotional week capped off by an emotional win."

JUNE 2019

Richmond had a bye and the McQualters were on holiday on the Gold Coast when the phone rang.

The results of Emily's latest urine test were back and something had shown up. The cancer could be back. Emily had to go in for more tests.

The family boarded a plane home the next morning.

"Basically we had been told if it comes back the survival rate is incredibly low," Andrew said.

They did another urine test and had to endure another week of waiting for the results.

"Andrew was really struggling then, well we both were, with what could happen, but we were trying to stay as positive as we could. Emily seemed pretty happy and wasn't unwell so that was always in the back of our minds. She was eating well," Jane said.

Eventually the results came back: negative. The previous urine test had delivered a false positive result. Emily was OK. She still has monthly tests but they believe she will be alright.

All clear: Emily McQualter, then two, with her parents Jane and Andrew.Credit: Darrian Traynor

"This year was tougher than 2017 to be honest, whether it was naivety but at the time we were so engrossed and it happened so quickly... But this year knowing more about it, it hit me pretty hard," Andrew said.

"I was not very good at work that week, I don't know how the forwards did that week – I'm coaching forwards now - it might not have been too good.

"When we got the news she was all clear this year it just changed everything. Your mind can tell you stories, we were not delving into worst case stories online or anything, but I sort of knew what they were."

Jane is pregnant again and due in a month. There is nothing to suggest the new baby is at risk of the same condition.

Richmond are in a preliminary final again, against Geelong at the MCG on Friday night. The McQualters can't lose.

Postscript: Emily is a healthy five-year-old with two younger sisters. Andrew McQualter will coach Richmond against Port Adelaide at the MCG on Sunday.