This was published 3 months ago
‘Why can’t we talk about the part between the knees and the belly button?’
By Benjamin Law
Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week, he talks to Karl Kruszelnicki. Best known as Dr Karl, the science communicator, 76, has been named Australian Father of the Year, a National Living Treasure and a Member of the Order of Australia. He’s also won the renowned Ig Nobel Prize.
Karl Kruszelnicki: “I’m fully prepared to believe in a God that’s set up the universe and then metaphorically said, ‘That’s it, mate. I’m off to play golf; see you later. You’re on your own.’ ”
RELIGION
A lot of people seem to feel religion and science aren’t compatible. What are your thoughts? They’re fully compatible. For a while, one of the top relativists was a professor at the University of Sydney – he knew his science backwards. He was also a minister of religion. Science has no room for faith and depends entirely upon proof. Religion depends entirely on faith with no need for proof. In this person’s brain, both existed quite comfortably.
What about for you? I was raised Catholic and was heading down the pathway of becoming a member of a religious order.
Wow. And now? I’m fully prepared to believe in a God that’s set up the universe and then metaphorically said, “That’s it, mate. I’m off to play golf; see you later. You’re on your own.” I cannot believe in a God who cares about us individually. As a medical doctor, I know so many millions of children die even before they’ve hit two simply because they had the bad luck to be born in the wrong country in poverty. They didn’t do anything bad; they just got born. So I cannot believe in a God that cares about us individually because I see so many bad things.
What instils wonder and awe in you, if not religion? So … I’m guessing you weigh about 70 kilograms.
Uh, roughly, yes … So you’ve probably got about 40 kilograms of water in you. You’ve also got lots of membranes in your body. Here’s a question: how much water, in a 24-hour period, do you think crosses your membranes?
Uh, I don’t know. Fewer than 10 litres? Forty tonnes of water cross your membranes and comes back again every day!
Wow! [Laughs] Doesn’t that fill you with awe and wonder?
BODIES
You’re in your 70s now. How’s your body holding up? Well, I’m not dead, but I’ve only got one good limb left. I tore the posterior aspect of the medial meniscus in the knee. Evolution did a good job with the hip joint: it’s a ball in a socket. But the knee joint sucks!
So with one good leg left, what can you still do? I swim, I walk and I pump iron. Overwhelmingly, people lose muscle mass as they get older unless they train. So that’s what I’m doing to try to stay alive. Where I am weak is lunges, but my son, his partner and the baby have moved in while they’re doing renos, so I’m going to get him to teach me how to do proper lunges – and build up my buttocks.
You’ve taught me and a lot of your listeners and readers about bodily functions. Do you enjoy being Australia’s foremost educator on poo and farts? I’m not so much trying to shock people; rather, I’m saying, “Why can’t we talk about that part of the body between the knees and the belly button?” It is not as if it’s only terrorists and axe murderers who defecate or fart. Regular people do, too. The good thing about farting is that it’s not your fault. It’s bacteria!
MONEY
Dr Karl, you’re famous; does that mean you’re also rich? No, I’m absolutely, totally hopeless with my money.
What’s the poorest you’ve ever been? When I was a hippie, squatting in Glebe. But I knew how to make the little money that I had spread out by not buying fast food and buying vegetables – or getting vegetables for free. I’d take my wheelbarrow from the squats to the local greengrocer every Monday morning – about five o’clock – and they’d be throwing out all their vegetables. I’d take cases of them. They were happy because it meant less stuff they had to get rid of. Ninety per cent of what I got was no good and went in the compost. But I lived off 10 per cent.
What does “rich” feel like for you? When I’ve stashed a banknote somewhere for emergencies, then forgotten about it, and there’s a $50 note. Oh, my god, I love that.
Complete this sentence for me: “Money can’t buy you … Immortality.
A lot of rich people are certainly trying though, aren’t they? With a success rate that seems to be indistinguishable from zero. But I do believe that we’re heading for immortality and that, by the end of this century, we’ll have people who’ll be living for 500 to 5000 years in a healthy, 18- to 25-year-old body. The reason is that we’ll have discovered how to stop apoptosis which, in Greek, basically means “the yellowed leaves in autumn, falling dead off the trees” – but which, in cell biology, means programmed cell death. We’ll be able to find that program and switch it off. That means that I’m in the last generation who’ll die. And you or your children might be in the first generation to live forever.
How do you feel about missing out by such a slim margin? The overwhelming majority of humanity died before they were 20. I’ve had a number of close calls. I’ve got a very good family situation – which has nothing to do with me, it’s just the luck of the draw – so I’m content. For me, life is like a rollercoaster. You get on, you get off, but it’s the ride in-between that counts. And I’m still having a good ride.
A Periodic Tale: My Sciencey Memoir by Dr Karl Kruszelnicki (ABC Books, $45), is out September 4.
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