The public proposal: Romantic gesture or a disaster waiting to happen?
By Frances Howe
During the Paris Olympics, the city of love has been awash with gold, silver, bronze and diamonds, with at least seven engagements at the Games so far.
While US rower Justin Best and shot putter Payton Otterdahl both proposed to their partners with the Eiffel Tower in the background, French steeplechase record breaker Alice Finot took a less traditional route by proposing to her partner with an Olympic collectable pin on the track.
Huang Yaqiong and Liu Yuchen after their proposal at the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.Credit: Getty Images
And cupid’s bow didn’t stop there. The boyfriends of French sailing partners Sarah Steyaert and Charlotte Picon both proposed after their bronze medal race, and Argentinian field hockey player Maria Campoy was proposed to by her partner, Olympic handball player Pablo Simonet.
Chinese badminton player Liu Yuchen proposed to his girlfriend, Huang Yaqiong, a fellow badminton player, after she won gold in the mixed doubles.
But despite all the celebration, public proposals are divisive. Liu received a backlash for stealing the thunder of his fiancée during her gold medal moment. So, how do you know if a public proposal is right for you?
Does your partner want to get married?
Sex and relationship therapist Lucille Shackleton says that before you consider getting engaged, you need to know whether your partner even wants to get married.
“Someone not being ready to get married doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to end the relationship. It might mean that they need more time or there’s something else that they want to work on in themselves or in the relationship,” she says.
Who is the proposal really for?
Being proposed to in front of a crowd isn’t for everyone, but the Olympics is a great way to gauge what your partner really thinks. Shackleton says bringing up the public proposals and asking what they think about them can help broach the subject without showing all of your cards.
If your partner is shy or introverted, there’s a good chance they don’t want a public proposal. Naomi Hutching is a clinical sexologist, and has worked with couples after disappointing proposals before. “My question would be to the proposer: is this for you, this big public display? Or is this for them?”
Pick the right moment
While not everyone runs the risk of being proposed to at the Olympics, we all have our gold medal moments. Relationship therapist Clinton Power says that piggybacking off other big news, like a friend’s wedding, adds more pressure to the situation and hinders some of the intimacy of this big occasion.
“You want the gesture to be sincere and not overshadow the spectacle,” he says. “Why not have it be something that stands on its own?”
Prepare for the worst
Proposing publicly is a risk. Couples therapist Elizabeth Neal says that it’s important to have a plan for when things don’t go well.
“You have to accept that you’re asking a question, and they might not say yes,” she says. “Give yourself a chance to regulate the emotion that’s going to come.”
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