Should I tell my former workplace what my then-boss did to my mental health?

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: revisiting workplace trauma, poor communication and an education blunder.

Your mental health should always be the priority.Credit: Dionne Gain

Two months after starting a new job, I found myself in a meeting being roared at by my boss for arriving five minutes early. She said written warnings would follow if I did it again, but outside the meeting room, she was as sweet as can be. This happened again, over different issues. When I couldn’t hold a glass of water without spilling it, I wound up in a psych ward being treated for severe anxiety. Not long afterwards, I left the job. I want HR to know my former boss has a two-faced game happening, which is not in line with company values at all. Do I tell them?

I am sorry to hear about your experience and I hope you have received the care and support you needed. My advice is not to revisit the trauma of your former workplace. If you think you have reason for legal action or compensation, that is one thing. But if you are only going back to the company to complain about your former boss, it will likely come at a personal cost and is unlikely to lead to any changes for your former boss.

If you are seeing someone for mental health support, perhaps it would be worth asking their advice on whether this would be helpful for your recovery. In the end, that is your most important priority. I hope you find a new workplace where you feel valued and can thrive.

And just to reassure you about arriving five minutes early for a meeting, I was always taught that was on time and that anything less than five minutes early is late. But then again, I began my career in the military, so I have always been fastidious about punctuality. Do take care of yourself and your health.

I’m a junior in an organisation that has just been acquired. I’m wondering what is reasonable to expect from management during this period of change, particularly from a communication perspective. There appears to be a reluctance to point out the “real” reason behind the restructure. How should I navigate this?

In my experience, there is rarely a conspiracy behind poor communication, it is much more likely to be simple incompetence. Even the best managers forget to communicate, resulting in the questions and concerns you raise.

I suspect your leadership is so busy making the acquisition happen that they have forgotten that communicating with their employees about what is happening needs to be right at the top of the list.

If you can, put together a list of questions you have (and perhaps ask your colleagues as well, so it isn’t just you asking). Find out from your boss or HR how you and your colleagues can understand more about this change, which is likely to impact your roles and, potentially, your future with the company. It may just be the reminder they need to communicate much, much more.

In my performance review, I asked my boss whether the company would support me to do a course to further my career. He said yes, and allowed me to enrol in an expensive leadership course. When I later mentioned the study material had been sent in PDF files, he instructed me to email it to everyone in the office. I feel completely let down. I showed initiative and was prepared to put the study and time in, and now I feel like it was an absolute waste of my time. What do you advise?

That really is appalling behaviour from your boss and would most likely be in breach of intellectual property laws and the agreement you signed with the training provider. The crazy thing is, it is highly unlikely anyone who receives large PDF files without any context will gain any benefit from them. All your boss has done is undermine the great decision he originally made, which was to reward you with this career development opportunity – a stupid decision.

That said, don’t throw this opportunity away. You are still the person enrolled in this course, and it is only you who will have it on your resume forever. Given the company has paid for the course, take every advantage and excel. Use what you learn to find a better job where you (and copyright laws) are respected.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

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