Older women want to date younger men? Wait, let me change your mind

The latest trend, I read in one of the newspapers, is for women in their 60s to date men who are far younger. It’s a pleasing reversal on the habits of the past – older men seeking younger women – but I can’t accept the reason that has been given.

When asked why she wanted a younger man, one sixty-something woman explained: “Men in their 60s think about nothing except putting out the garbage. They are obsessed with making sure the bins go out.”

The 60-something male still has something to offer – but yes, it’s mainly garbage-related.Credit: Getty Images

This, of course, is stereotyping of the worst kind. Are we not people, first and foremost? The 60-something male is a creature of infinite diversity, a beautiful mosaic, a kaleidoscope through which all the colours of the rainbow may be seen.

On the other hand, of course, she’s right. We are all obsessed with garbage. But why is she saying it like it’s a bad thing?

The red bin, the one for ordinary rubbish, grows ever smaller. Give it another decade and it will be so miniaturised you’ll be hard-pressed to squeeze in two bits of used chewing gum. It’s also no longer picked up weekly. There must be a full moon and Sagittarius in the ascendant before the local council will even consider the removal of ordinary rubbish.

The result: miss one pick-up and your household might never recover. A decade on, you’ll find cupboards stuffed with five pairs of old sandshoes, two exhausted pillows and a broken platter.

“Why is all this crap in your cupboard?” someone might ask.

“Well,” you might reply, “due to an inattentive moment when I was focused on a new lover, a woman in her 60s, I neglected to put out the red bin sometime in March 2023, and my waste management system has never recovered.”

It’s then when the sixty-something man declares, “Never again. However lovely the lady, putting out the garbage now comes first.”

The wise woman will respond with a “thank god for that”, her hand instinctively swiping right. She will understand that timely rubbish removal is a skill to be applauded, not derided.

It’s not the only upside of dating an older man – not if you are a heterosexual woman in her 40s, 50s or early 60s.

For a start, we are always eager to go places. The latest exhibition at the art gallery? Let’s go! A new cafe just opened on the other side of town? Can’t wait.

True, our main interest is to marvel at the discount we’ve received, at various stages of the journey, by using our Seniors Opal card. “Look at that!” we’ll say to our date, pointing her attention to the Opal reader. “That trip only cost me 99 cents, and yet you’ve had to pay the full freight of $3.20.”

This is the sort of ebullient chit-chat that makes a date with a sixty-something male so enjoyable.

Of course, the woman in question may be old enough to qualify for a Seniors Opal card, too, creating a frenzy of money-saving that will surely add an extra romantic frisson to the day.

It’s true, some say that the older man is a stick-in-the-mud, set in his ways, unwilling to try new things. But, in this world of infinite choice, that can be a joyous thing. Qantas or Virgin? Omo or Surf? Monte Carlo or Scotch Fingers?

We decided our policy 40 years ago and now spend our time on more important things, such as giving a prospective partner the attention she deserves.

With an older man, there’s no need for you to calculate, “Is tomorrow bin day?” Leave it to him. He’ll have thought of little else since Monday.

The sixty-something male is also generous – especially when it comes to telling stories about his children, listing their academic achievements in such detail that you’ll never encounter those uncomfortable silences that sometimes blight a first date. Ask him about his grandchildren and you may well be there for weeks.

Talking of offspring, a younger woman may be searching for a man with whom to have a child. Again, do not discount the sixty-something male.

Consider the moment when the baby starts crying in the early hours. “Let me deal with it,” the older man will say. After all, he’s already getting up three times a night.

Yet, among all these positives, nothing beats his focus on garbage. Living with an older man, there’s no longer a need for you to calculate, “What day is it? Is tomorrow bin day?” and no need to guess whether this is the sort of red-letter day in which you are at last allowed to put out the red bin.

Leave it to him. He’ll have thought of little else since first thing Monday. And if he ever forgets, he’ll be willing to jump out of bed just as soon as he hears the clunk of the truck coming down the street. He’ll run outside in his shorty pyjamas, hair askew and belly flapping, and haul the bins into place without any concern for how he might appear to the neighbours.

The younger man might be embarrassed to be seen like this, but the older man is beyond shame – especially when it comes to garbage.

“An obsession with garbage”, listed as a problem? I don’t think so. Frankly, it’s our major selling point.

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