My boss is sexually harassing me, but I love my job. What can I do?

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: sexual harassment on the job, how much to tell your employer about your health history and returning to work after kids.

No job is worth putting up with psychological and sexual harassment.Credit: Dionne Gain

I’m working as a part-time nanny. My employer is the father of the child I’m caring for. I’m only 20, and he’s in his 30s and is psychologically, verbally and sexually harassing me. I need this job, I love working here, but I’m so stressed out now. What should I do? He frightens me.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this – you don’t deserve any of it, and I am so angry you are being put in this position. First, absolutely no job is worth your safety, regardless of how much you enjoy the job or need the work. What you’re describing is serious and illegal. In Australia, sexual harassment and intimidation in the workplace are against the law. Please talk to someone confidentially, like a trusted friend, family member, or support service such as 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). Having someone who understands will help you not to feel so alone and hopefully, they can guide you through your options, including making a report or seeking legal protection.

If you feel unsafe at any time, please speak to the police. Your safety and wellbeing come first. You’re not alone, and there are people who will believe you and help you. Telling someone is the first step – no matter how small it feels. You have the right to feel safe and respected at work.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and resigned from my job to take some time off while I received treatment and had surgery. I’m lucky enough to have recovered well and have recently started a new job. While I know I’m not legally required to disclose my diagnosis to my new employer, I keep wondering if it’s better to be up front with them so they understand I may need time off for follow-up appointments in the future. My concern about telling them is the possibility of oversharing so early on and potentially putting them off, especially given the immediate risk is over now. Any suggestions on how best to manage this?

Firstly, congratulations on your recovery – that’s no small journey, and it’s wonderful to hear you’re doing well and starting fresh in a new role. It’s completely understandable to feel torn between wanting to be transparent and protecting your privacy. You’re right: you’re under no legal obligation to disclose your past diagnosis, especially if it doesn’t affect your current ability to work.

That said, if you anticipate needing occasional time off for follow-up care, it’s OK to mention this without going into detail if you prefer. You might simply say you have some routine medical appointments related to a past health matter, and you’ll always aim to give notice. You’re allowed to share only what feels right to you. Prioritise your comfort and boundaries as you move forward with strength and confidence.

It is also worth bearing in mind that sometimes sharing a little about your past journey can help build trust and connection. Many people may appreciate honesty and vulnerability, especially when shared with care and confidence. It might even inspire quiet support right when you need it.

I’m returning to the workforce after taking three years off to care for my young kids. I’m finding it difficult to find roles at the level I was at before, however there are more roles at the level below me. Should I consider roles where I am overqualified and moderate my salary expectations down? We are in the financial position where we need a second income, but I also don’t want to undervalue my skills and experience.

Returning to the workforce after caring for young kids is a huge transition. It’s understandable to feel caught between financial needs and wanting to be valued for your skills. Taking a role slightly below your previous level can be a smart move – especially if it gets your foot back in the door. But being overqualified doesn’t mean you need to significantly undersell yourself.

If a role feels like the right fit, you can still negotiate a salary that reflects your experience. Focus on roles where you see potential to grow quickly or where you can demonstrate your value. Be kind to yourself, stay open to possibilities, and don’t underestimate the value of what you bring to the table.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

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