I’ve had enough of smug travel writers boasting about packing light

When did packing light become an Olympic sport? Smug travel writers everywhere can’t seem to resist a humblebrag about their perfectly packed Marie Kondo-ed hand luggage that allows them to skip the baggage carousel.

“I’m travelling to (insert destination here) for three weeks with only seven kilograms of carry-on.”

Say what you will about packing light, more is always better. Credit: Karlie Kloss / Instagram

Give them a medal!

When it comes to packing, this kind of militant minimalism hurts my brain and makes me want to stay home.

I’m more of a whimsical Mary Poppins-meets-the-Scouts’ “Be prepared” kind of packer.

For me, 32 kilograms of checked luggage helps me soak up a destination’s romance and charm.

I like to have plenty of wardrobe options and twirly dresses. I also like certain creature comforts – a hair straightener, a travel iron, a yoga mat, binoculars for birdwatching and opera viewing, and at least three books.

Then there are practical necessities – two pairs of bathers (who wants to put on soggy swimmers?) a light jacket, a heavier coat, sunscreen SPF 50+, a first aid kit, wet weather gear, a Keep Cup and, finally, the coffee snob’s ultimate survival item – a French press.

The experts say the key to travelling with only carry-on is neutral-coloured clothes. Vomit. Pack a lot of beige, and it will set the tone for your entire trip.

It’s impossible to anticipate your mood on any given day, so why not bring the broadest colour palette that a checked-in luggage limit allows?

With global warming shaking up weather patterns, clear-cut seasons are blurring and spells of extreme heat, cold, rain, storms and blizzards are more frequent. You simply can’t pack only carry-on to travel to multiple climates without risking chilblains.

The carry-on packing pros recommend taking just three or four bottoms, and a few tops that can be re-worn. Have they not seen the exorbitant hotel laundry prices?

And honestly, who wants to waste precious hours scrubbing garments in a hotel sink or traipsing around with a bag of dirty washing looking for a laundromat? I’d rather be having an afternoon aperitif.

The hand luggage evangelists say it doesn’t matter what you wear on your overseas sojourn because nobody will know you. But what they fail to comprehend is that all travellers are ambassadors for their homelands. Dress smart and look the part. Besides, all your friends living vicariously through Instagram will note you swanned about Europe looking like you were on a trip to Bunnings.

You can’t channel Emily in Paris or Audrey Hepburn vibes with such extreme clothing restrictions. Case in point: a waiter in Florence once mistook me for being Princess Beatrice of York because she said I was so well-dressed.

As for the rule that you should only take one pair of comfortable walking shoes on tour – what happens when it rains and your only shoes start smelling like dead cats?

Whenever I travel beyond a weekend away, I pack a minimum of five pairs of shoes and at least three hats. And I never listen to the naysayers who denounce wearing heels on cobblestones. Royals do it all the time. Life is too short not to wear fabulous shoes in fabulous locations. (Just make sure you have travel insurance.)

The minimalist brigade is also doing you a disservice when they recommend leaving your activewear at home. If you intend to eat all the pizza and pasta in Italy, as well as enjoy a red wine with lunch (because it’s good for digestion, as the locals say), and a daily gelato then you’ve got to at least attempt to make your trip “calorie neutral” and hit the hotel gym.

Many of these preachers of carry-on claim a key appeal is that you don’t have to wait for your baggage at the arrivals hall. It’s usually 20 minutes. Never mind that if you’re a woman, you’re likely to be waiting longer for a loo at the airport; my suitcase is usually waiting for me.

For those anxious worrywarts fretting about their baggage not showing up – spring for one of those nifty bluetooth bag tags then you can track your suitcase’s location on your phone throughout the entire flight and transit for peace of mind.

Undoubtedly, the best thing about travelling with checked luggage is the freedom to shop knowing that you can buy whatever local item you fall in love with because there’s enough space to take it home with you.

When you do finally get home, your adventures will live on through endless fashion compliments.

“Oh, just a little something I picked up in (insert destination here).” It won’t get old.

Lisa Martin is an Australian journalist living in Copenhagen.

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